My Geeky, Creepy, Accidentally Shining-Inspired Hallway

A few weeks ago, I posted this picture with the explanation that it was my newly renovated hallway (still in progress), and that it kinda, sorta, unintentionally started to resemble The Shining. Granted, I was a little high on paint fumes when I came to this realization, but looking back on it, I don't think I was too far gone.

My hallway in progress.

 See? Here's a screenshot from the movie.

 

Photo Credit

Granted, the colors aren't in exactly the same places and patterns, but the color scheme is eerily similar. If I could have found the accent pieces in red, I would have nailed it. Of course, as I said, any resemblance is coincidental and purely unintentional. That said...if you can't beat 'em... 

"Come play with us, Ronnie. Forever and ever..."

This is my geek-ified, accidentally Shining-inspired, vaguely Haunted Mansion-y new hallway™! And yes, those are my puppy's dinosaur toys standing in for the creepy twins. I should probably seek help.

Of course, you can't have a Shining-inspired *anything* without 237, and what self-respecting hotel leaves numbers off the doors? This door leads to the office, which can, on occasion, double for a gateway to Hell. Seemed appropriate. These numbers are rusted brass, and were clearanced out for 68-cents apiece at the local craft store.

 

While we were at it, we stuck 42--the meaning of life--on our room...

 

...and 1138 (George Lucas' directorial debut) on the guest room. 

 

You could also argue that 42 might be for 42nd Street and the Broadway theatre district in New York, but that would be silly...right? *whistles innocently*

 

Here we have the distressed mirror and sconces I showed you in the previous post. They haven't changed. They're still slightly disturbing and remind me of The Haunted Mansion ride for some inexplicable reason. I think it's the pattern in the sconces and the filigree around the mirror. I don't know, but Thomas gets that vibe, too. Maybe we've just got our crazy in sync. 

 



Originally, I'd planned on getting a minimalist Shining poster to frame and hang here (across from the mirror/sconces), but then we found this little gem, also on clearance at the local craft shop. The inside of the frame is clear, so don't go nuts wondering how we matched the orange paint that perfectly. I loved how distressed and worn it was, and the typewriter went perfectly with our accidental theming. Most importantly, though: there's glitter in it. Kid you not. I have no idea why there is glitter in this frame, but there is, and it's gold, and it got all over Thomas when he toted it out to the car for me. If I hadn't already fallen in love with it, that last bit would have sold me on it. (I love you, honey!)

 

Lastly, I figured as long as we were putting numbers on the doors, I might as well label the bathroom, too. There's nothing geeky or creepy about this. It's just practical and kind of pretty. 

 

Again, the letters were on clearance at the craft store, and lightweight enough to be attached using bits of Command strips. This picture shows the letters a little more clearly, and also gives the best shot of my favorite part of the hall: the door paint. 

 

If you look very closely, you can see little bits of sparkle. You can also see, from the light hitting the paint, that there's quite a bit of depth to the color. This is Oil-Rubbed Bronze paint from Rustoleum. Now, not going to lie, it's a b*tch to use. This stuff is oil-based (I had no idea) and goes on like molasses in December, but it looks amazing in person. From one angle, it looks black. From another, it looks brown. From another, there's a field of shimmer. I. Freaking. Love. It.

 

Word of warning: if you use this, do not use anything that contains a heat source until after the paint has dried. By that, I mean, don't paint and then make yourself a piece of toast. Don't paint and then run the washer or dryer. Definitely do not paint and then cook on the stovetop. This will--and I am not making this up--cause a chemical reaction with the already considerable fumes, and your entire house and everything in it will reek of kerosene. You will think you're going to die. I would also suggest using *only* disposable rollers and brushes, and not even attempting to clean them off after using. Just toss them. Trust me, it's easier that way. On a completely unrelated note, lemon juice, salt, steel wool, hand scrub, and pure acetone make a fantastic hand exfoliant that you will never want to use again.

 

Ow...



While I Was Out: Random Phone Pictures Edition!

As any of you who have been following for a while know, things are never quite "normal" at my house. For crying out loud, this happened in my backyard:

Krampus Peek-a-Boo! I see you!

That's my sweet, adorable hubby, by the way. He was the stunt double for our creature actor. Truth be told, though, I think he just wanted an excuse to run around the backyard and scare people. 

Now, that was back in...February? I think? Anyway, things are still bonkers around the Smith crib (see? I'm hip and with it), which is one reason I've been MIA so much around here. I thought, for fun, I'd sift through my camera phone pics and see what popped up. Maybe they'll better illustrate the weird.

So, we made a mascot head. This is (just the head) of Punchy the Fighting Owl. The rest of the costume is still in progress, but the hard part is done. In case you're wondering, we made the body out of insulation foam and a hard hat, the eyes out of layers of screen door mesh and acrylic paint, and the whole thing is covered in polyfill, felt, and furry cloth. Oh--and about 612 hot glue sticks. We ended up sort of making the whole thing up as we went along, but the inspiration for the design came from this Instructable.

No. I did not make my own DIY Redneck Wine Glass (sold in other stores for $15.99, apparently). We're in pre-production for a couple of shorts, so my "grocery" lists are a little...funky. I had to run into Dollar Tree to look for a laser pointer, a car phone charger, some rubber snakes, glass stones, paint supplies, and a fake goldfish. (Oddly enough, the hardest to find item on that list has been the bag of rubber snakes.) I saw this set-up and couldn't resist snapping a picture. Then, I went home and glued (no kidding) 436 amber rhinestones onto leopard material.

I know I've mentioned it about a gazillion times on here, but Thomas and I have been working really hard to clean up our backyard. Because we're gluttons for punishment, we decided to add a water feature to this strange little random patch of dirt that lay in the middle of a rockwork embankment. Here it is at the OMG-I'm-almost-finished-with-this-bleepidy-bleep-bleep-thing-and-I-ran-out-of-rock-! stage. It's finished now, though, so I'll have to take a picture and let you guys see it in all it's waterfall-y glory.

Good Lord, we need to power wash the courtyard! Here's Thomas, doing his best Vanna White impression to show off the piece de resistance in our backyard makeover: the movie screen. It was a DIY project, made from movie screen material bought off of Amazon, and some lightweight wood pieces from Lowe's. It took about five minutes to screw together the wooden frame, and then the fabric is just stretched over it and stapled. We've hung it onto a couple of fence posts using picture hanging hooks, and the screen lives indoors when not in use.

And, because I've just been so bored, I decided to completely renovate my closet. This is still at the "in progress" stage. I've still got a ways to go on organizing, and then I have to empty it all out and paint. Expect a blog post on this when it's done...if it's done...

And, most exciting of all, I took the puppy to the vet. Trust me, he wasn't anywhere near as happy as he looks.

There's a lot of really cool stuff coming up in the next few weeks. Fighting Owl Films is doing a panel at Pensacola Paracon, and then Thomas and I are (most likely) going to the Sidewalk Moving Pictures Festival. Our short, C.U.P.I.D., was accepted, so if you're in the area in August, you should go check it (and the rest of the festival--should be awesome) out. 

Have a great Monday, y'all!

The Project

I'm sorry that I haven't written much here lately. It's been...interesting...

Okay, so Thomas and I bought a house. If you've been following me for any length of time, you probably already knew that. You probably also know that the backyard was in shambles, and we've been trying to get it cleaned up, lest Adam the Woo think us abandoned and try to explore our flower beds (in which case we would happily invite him in for a Mountain Dew). Well, getting it cleaned up wasn't the only project. You see, we're attempting to build an outdoor movie theatre.

We're nothing if not ambitious. And mosquito-bitten. Very mosquito-bitten.

So, for the past several weekends (and any other time we could fit in), Thomas has been working on building a fence and screen, we both put together a grill area, and I've been constructing a rock work fountain and some decorating.

We are nowhere near finished. Not even close, but it is starting to take shape. Also, have I mentioned that we have absolutely no construction experience? The set we put together for The Night Shift was mostly foam, and the one wooden piece kept falling apart. The set for SuperFriends was nothing but sheeting, and we couldn't keep that up. This is foreign territory, but it was either DIY or have it all done professionally, and we sure as heck couldn't afford that. I was brought up by parents who taught me that I could do anything I wanted if I used my brain and put forth the effort--be it painting a t-shirt or laying concrete--and they taught me this in true-DIY fashion: by doing it themselves. My fifth birthday was amazing. I had a Rainbow Brite-themed backyard carnival, complete with games, races, and a beautiful cake. All the neighborhood kids were invited, too, so it was huge. My parents couldn't spend a lot of money because my dad was in and out of work, so they made everything. Mom figured out how to pipe Rainbow Brite onto a homemade cake, and sewed little bean bags for the toss game Daddy made out of plywood. I think I even had a little outfit that Mom threw together on the sewing machine. Twenty-eight years later, I still remember that party and how much fun we munchkins had at it.

It seems fitting that I'm carrying on that "well, we'll figure it out" spirit in that same backyard. Every day, I walk through the living room with my parents' wainscot experiment (a success!), into the sun room that my Dad built (it's still standing and up to code...even if I don't know which light switches go to what), out onto the courtyard that Daddy laid, concrete brick by concrete brick, and look at the terracing that he and Mom designed. There are still boards and posts and half-empty bags of mortar lying around, but now they're mine and Thomas'. The yard is still being figured out, just by a new generation.

This weekend, I "finished" the fountain. By "finished", I mean that I've taken the rock that we salvaged from an old, random flower bed, and pieced it together to surround some liners and a pump that Thomas put down, then mortared it all together. You wouldn't think that would be too tough, but it's like putting together a puzzle where you have no idea what the finished picture should look like, and you're not entirely sure that all the pieces in the box are actually from the same puzzle. Oh, and you have to glue it all down as you go. In 100-degree heat. On an angle. And the glue sucks, so the pieces move and knock each other out of place, so you have to start over from time to time. One rock still won't stay down, and the surrounding ground cover hasn't been laid, yet, but I'm calling the fountain, itself, done.

As for the rest of the yard, the gated fence is up, and all the posts for the surrounding fence and movie screen are up and mostly cemented into place. Of course, we now think that we (and by we, I mean Thomas and my brother. I was off cursing at rocks) may have mis-measured and might have to reconfigure those posts. I have no idea where the furniture is going to go (and the paint may or may not have caused me to have an allergic reaction), but the cushions sure are comfy. The misting system and grill are ready and rearing to go, and all I need to do now is order the movie screen material and the projection equipment.

The string lights are awfully pretty.

We've got a long way to go, and no idea what we're doing, but it'll be okay. We'll figure it out.

Pinteresting: A Wreath For All Seasons, Part the Second

Yesterday, I teased that I had made a wreath with interchangeable decorations, so I could just swap them out every season instead of having to buy/make a new wreath. You know, in case you missed that post. Today, I'm going to tell you how I did it!

Ready?

You sure?

Positive?

Here you go: Pins. Bridal and Lace Pins, to be exact. You can find them in pretty much any fabric/craft store, and they run about three bucks. I like these because they're super tiny, so they're not too obvious. In fact, you can even make them part of the design.

I got the idea from my Aunt Peggy. She makes the most gorgeous Christmas ornaments by pinning jewels onto fabric-covered styrofoam balls. I have one in my dining room that I leave out year-round because it's just too pretty to pack up. (And I realize that makes me sound like a crazy person, but I assure you, the color and pattern actually go with the rest of the decor. Wow...that sounds worse...IT'S NOT TACKY!! How's that?)

Now, I didn't pin jewels, but I did pin on some really pretty (and insanely inexpensive) appliques. You can pin on just about anything you want, so long as you can stick a pin through it. When you're ready to swap out the decorations, simply unpin. Voila! Here's the finished product:

I have a wreath hanger...somewhere. Until I find it, though, I attached it to the door by tying the ribbon around some of the wrought iron on the screen door. If you make a wreath following this tutorial, you will need to wrap the ribbon around the ring itself before tying it. Otherwise, gravity makes the ring fall and rest on the top of the letter, and that just looks silly.

See? I kind of like the look of the wrapping, anyway, as it turns out.

Overall, I'm thrilled with how this turned out. Now, I just need to clean up the rest of the front of my house. It's looking pretty sad by comparison...

Next project: FIREPIT!!!!!!  (Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?)

Pinteresting: A Wreath For All Seasons

From Webster's Dictionary--

frus·tra·tion

noun \(ˌ)frəs-ˈtrā-shən\

: a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs

Example:

You see that white space? That's styrofoam. You know why it's there? Because, even after buying out that particular style of ribbon at Michael's, there wasn't enough to cover it. The wreath stayed like that for about two weeks, during which time I stalked Michael's like an unstable spurned lover. Finally, Thomas suggested we drive over to the next town and check their store. Luckily, they had the same style, so the wreath is now finished (pics to come). Today, though, I thought I'd walk you through how I put this baby together. I call it, "A Wreath For All Seasons".

See, a few months ago, I went surfing around Pinterest. This generally proves dangerous, because I love the idea of DIY-ing something cool, but tend to pick things that turn out to be a heck of a lot more difficult than I'd imagined. (I'm klutzy...things break...I get hurt...you get the picture. My next project is a fire pit, by the way. God help us all...) Anyhoo, I ran across this:

Pin originally came from here.

I absolutely loved the idea of hanging our initial (which also happens to be an S) from a ribbon, as seen in the middle picture. "I can do that!" I thought. So, off to Michael's I went, armed with a sale paper and a 40% off coupon.

I wanted a year-round wreath, so I decided to go with very simple, basic colors, and no flowers or leaves or anything seasonal. Black and white go with pretty much everything, so I settled on a damask ribbon to cover a styrofoam ring. For the initial, I found a white wooden S, and painted it with some metallic silver spray paint I had lying around the house.

Owl pajama pants. Very glam.

The ribbon's just wrapped tightly around the ring. Easy peasy.

Anytime a roll of ribbon ended, I hot glued the edge down (preferably in the back) and started up a new roll exactly where the last one left off. Seriously, absolutely zero skill was needed for this project. The S is looped through a length of black ribbon with white edging, and the ribbon is hot glued to the back of the S for stability. I did tie the ribbon around the ring before hanging the S, and left plenty of ribbon hanging down so I could use that to attach the wreath to the front door.

The reason it's a "Wreath For All Seasons"? The decorations that I later added to it can be swapped out at will, meaning I can use this for Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, Christmas--you name it! How'd I do that? Stick around and find out...

"The Gnomes Are Popping Up Like Easter Eggs!!!"

Tuesday, we closed on the house and officially became homeowners. That, of course, meant that on Wednesday, a raccoon moved into our chimney, but that's another story. The very first Saturday in our very first house, Thomas and I got up uncharacteristically early and started working on our backyard.

We've actually been living in this house for over a year, but for some reason, working in the yard never really seemed like a priority until now. Go figure. Thomas and I don't spend a whole lot of time in our backyard, so I guess we just turned a blind eye, for the most part. As soon as those papers were signed, though, it was like a veil was lifted, and we realized we had two choices: A) clean up the yard, or B) start allowing urban explorers to film youtube videos on our "abandoned" property. We went with A, but there was some honest to God discussion on it.

Seeing as we're, more or less, landscaping virgins, this has been a definite learning experience. We're nowhere near finished with the project. In fact, we're at that "it looks worse now than before we started" stage. Still, I thought I'd share some of the "fun" lessons we've been taught.

• Ladders and gardening tools are ridiculously expensive, for no other reason than because they can be. Seriously, what's a ladder, really, besides a few pieces of metal welded together? Why on Earth is the cheapest one fifty bucks? Oh...because I can't reach my celing or gutters without one...that's why. A garden hoe is a broomstick with a flat piece of metal stuck on one end, and it's fifteen-freaking-dollars because I need it to break up the weeds and roots in my overgrown flower beds.
• Bamboo grows wild in Alabama. I had no idea. I thought maybe my mom planted it, because it was in a bed she planted when I was kid (we bought my childhood home, by the way. Not sure if I mentioned that before), but she seemed just as surprised as I was. It's a real pain in the you-know-what to pull up, too. I'm pretty sure bamboo is the devil.
• Much like bamboo springs up in my yard at random, so, apparantly, do gnomes. I found two yesterday. I've named them Laurel and Hardy.
• The trunk of a Nissan Versa can hold, at least, six large bags of drainage rock. Getting them out of the trunk is the hard part. (They're still in there. I think we may need to devise a pulley system.)
• This yard should have come with a Quija board. My dear, departed Dad built our courtyard (and drainage system, but that's another story, as well), and while it's lovely, it does have some idiosyncracies that I just can't quite figure out. For instance, there's an absolutely gorgeous rockwork walkway that leads to the courtyard. The sides are completely rocked over, save for one 2-foot by 3-foot (approx.) patch, which was left unrocked, and held a few planters. It's entirely random and makes no sense. I'm putting a fairy garden there, but I would love to know the real reason for its existence. He didn't just run out of rock, because the rock continues on either side of the patch. It's just random.  
• If you give my husband a chainsaw, he goes from Clark Kent to Bruce Campbell in 0.4 seconds. No shrubbery is safe.
• When spray painting, even in well-ventilated areas (like outside), wear a mask. I coated my sinuses in black paint, and, let's just say that my sneezes would make Sam and Dean Winchester think I was possessed by a Leviathan. Ew.
• On the subject of painting: never trust the label on an old can of paint. Just because it says "white", and you know for a fact that the house hasn't had trim that was any color other than white in several years, it doesn't necessarily mean that the paint is white. Check first, and make sure it's not, say, beige, before you waste an hour taping off a dozen windows for no good reason. Make sure you have a brush, too. (oops)
• After several hours of non-stop yard work, be prepared for people to look at you funny when, in your delerium, you burst into a fit of giggles--for no discernable reason--while stumbling around in the middle of the Walmart soft drink aisle. I'm fairly certain that if we'd tried to buy any alcohol on that trip, we'd have been turned down, and possibly escorted out of the building.

Hopefully, we'll get the hang of this soon. I'll keep you posted...