Wednesday, October 6, 2010

If Only I Had a Trained Monkey

Easy-to-Assemble:  (ee'-zee-too'-uh-sehm'-buhl) adj.  Anything that can be put together with little to no effort, little to no training, and without tools.  Example:  Legos, Lincoln Logs, Oreos (see also:  easy-to-disassemble).

The other day, Thomas and I were in Bed Bath & Beyond when they just happened to be having an amazing clearance sale.  I mean, a drop everything, get your butt down here right now kind of clearance sale.  A beautiful $100 cabinet was on sale for $20.  Seriously.  We snapped that thing up so fast it'd make your head spin.

Unfortunately, we couldn't put it together right away.  We had to wait until we got everything moved from one apartment to the other, and were able to clear enough space amid the boxes to have room to put it together.  When the stars finally aligned and I was able to get to the blasted thing, Thomas was at work.  "Oh, well," I thought, "it's easy-to-assemble.  Says so right on the box.  I'll just do it myself."

Please try to restrain your laughter.

Easy-to-Assemble, to these people, requires a toolbox, several dozen different styles of screws and bolts (some I think they just made up), solid wood that does not defy gravity in real life as it does in the illustrations, and absolutely no written instructions.  None.  Zip.

2 and a half hours, 1 and a half viewings of Ella Enchanted, and a slew of curse words later, I had a cabinet.  Granted, the doors were on upside down (I've since fixed them), and I'm afraid to put anything of real value in it, as it looks like it's going to fall over if the A/C blows on it, but it's done.   

Great.  And my point is?  My point is:  I put together a cabinet.  What am I going to do now?  I'm going to Disney World!!! 

Posting is going to be sporadic, at best, for a couple of days, but if I take any really fun pictures, I'll be sure to share.  In the meantime, feel free to peruse the archives and leave comments.  Please keep it nice.  This is a troll free zone.  Well, except for the one I keep under the computer, but we don't talk about him. 

See Ya Real Soon!

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