Tuesday, October 26, 2010


What's wrong with acting my shoe size? Eight and a half is way more fun when you're thirty. For one thing, I can drive now, and Mom can't send me to my room, anymore. What's wrong with keeping glitter next to the wrinkle cream, or storing the acid reflux medicine next to the Oreos? What's wrong with ordering a happy meal at McDonald's? It's cheaper than a value meal, and maybe I want to collect all however many.

I still go on playdates with my best friend. Of course, now we don't sit around and brush Barbie's hair. We walk a couple of miles, instead. I still play dress-up, but now the fancy dresses don't come from the thrift shop, and I actually have somewhere to wear them. I still have Disney characters on my makeup, but now I can wear it out without worrying about Mom catching me.

Yes, we all know that when you're old you can wear purple with a red hat. Same thing goes for eight and a half. It's just looked upon as self-expression. If I want to wear diamonds on the soles of my shoes, by gum, I'm going to.

No, I'm not going all Fellini on you, but I'm tired of hearing how old thirty is. I feel exactly the same now as I did at 20--when the world is still telling you you're too young. Yes, I might have a few gray hairs, but I dye my hair red, not to cover it, but because I like red. Yes, I might be too old to be Miss America, but I'm still too young to run for President. I will have kids when I'm darned good and ready--I haven't been a wife all that long. I will dress up for Halloween, and probably steal some of my little brother's candy. I'm still waiting for my singing voice to totally mature. Last week, some teenagers hit on me. Stop telling me I'm old, world. Times have changed, and you need to get with the program.

So, in honor of my little existential crisis, here are some "grown-up" Halloween treats for you.

First off, because we're legal and old enough to hold our liquor, a Halloween cocktail, courtesy of The Kitchen:


makes one cocktail

1.5 oz Jack Daniels
1.5 oz spiced apple cider
2 tablespoons pumpkin puree
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 dash cinnamon
Nutmeg, for garnish
Cinnamon stick, for garnish

Mix all ingredients in martini shaker with ice. Shake vigorously for 15 seconds and pour into chilled martini glass. Garnish with nutmeg and cinnamon stick.

Now, why are we drinking? Oh, yeah! To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Alfred Hitchcock's classic Psycho! (Honestly, that movie scared the bejeezus out of me, so I probably would need that drink to get through it again.)

Last Tuesday, Psycho made it's Blu-Ray debut. For a full review, you can go here, but basically, the sound and picture are both much improved, and it's still scary as heck. The extras include featurettes from previous DVD releases, and one new featurette detailing how the audio track was updated to 5.1 surround sound.

Also newly released, a companion piece to the film, The Psycho Legacy. This documentary delves into the making of the Psycho sequels, with interviews of writers, filmmakers, fans, and actors. Extras include a fun featurette on fan-art, and includes a tour of one avid memorabilia collector's home. He keeps "Mother" in a coffin in the guest room. Oh, dear. Supposedly, he's a really nice, polite guy. Then again, so was Norman.


  1. PREACH. i'm a little sick of being sent out to virtual pasture as well. it's only getting better, in my opinion.

    and that drink sounds AMAZING.


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