Systematic, Hydromatic, Ultramatic Walgreen's Whitening!: Walgreen's Extra Strength One-Hour Whitening Trays

I'm a coffee drinker. Well, actually, that's kind of like calling Jurassic Park a petting zoo. I have a Starbucks Gold card, for crying out loud. I worked my way through both college and my time as a theatre gypsy tending coffee bars. I mostly drink decaf, but I drink a lot of it.

Oh, and tea. I like tea. I'm Southern, so of course I like sweet tea (and it's all sweet tea. If you want unsweetened, you need to specify), and it better be syrupy enough to pour over pancakes. I'm also a vocalist in the land of pollen, so chamomile is my friend.

And my teeth show it.

I adore my Crest Optic White toothpaste. Without it, I'd probably look like I smoked a carton a day. That stuff is magic, but great as it is, there's only so much it can do. Sometimes, you have to pull out the big guns and go for a whitening kit, which sucks because they're so gosh-darn expensive. Normally, I'd just scrub harder and hope that the Tooth Fairy would show up to grant wishes, but I've got an event coming up in a couple of weeks. I bit the bullet, grabbed my purse, and headed to Walgreen's.

Name brand whiteners tend to run anywhere from twenty bucks to over fifty, and that's before you get into the fancy-schmancy kits with lights. I didn't need all the bells and whistles; just a basic kit that might whiten my teeth. It didn't need to sing or dance or do my taxes. Then, my eyes fell on a generic, Walgreen's branded box that said "Extra Strength Whitening Trays...Whitens teeth up to 3 shades in 1 hour". Beneath the box was a sale sticker for $9.99. SOLD! When I got up to the register, I found out I had three dollars in Balance Rewards, bringing the total down to $6.99. Seriously, you can't beat that.

The instructions were pretty straightforward: rinse with the accelerator for 30 seconds, wear the first set of trays for 25 minutes, rinse with the accelerator for 30 seconds, wear the second set of trays for 25 minutes, rinse with the whitening rinse. The end. Everything was included, and the trays were pre-filled, so there was no mess and no guesswork. It normally takes me about an hour to get showered, dressed, and ready in the mornings, so I decided to try to multi-task and use the kit during that time.

This morning, I rinsed with the accelerator, popped in the trays, and jumped in the shower. By the time I got out, applied some body lotion and did my morning skincare routine, it was time to rinse again and use the second set of trays. While those trays were doing their thing, I put on my makeup, fixed my hair, and got dressed. I was ready to walk out the door when I removed the trays and did the final rinse. Basically, what I'm saying is that this didn't take up any extra time or require much additional effort.

So, did it work? Did a ten dollar whitening kit actually do anything? Yeah. It did. Did it make a shocking difference? Can I star in a toothpaste commercial? Oh, gawd, no. The box only claims to whiten three shades. I feel like it did that, but this is, by no means, a professional job. I'm making a dental appointment next month, and plan to check into whitening while I'm there, but this is a definite improvement. I took before and after photos to compare. These are cropped really closely because, really, who wants to see two sets of my teeth bared? Not me, that's for sure. These are the same three teeth, and the pictures were taken with the same camera, with the same settings, in the same room, with the same lighting.

Before



After

As I said, it's not a drastic difference, but it's enough that I can tell. The staining is significantly lighter in the bottom photo. I think a touch-up pen may help even more, or at least sustain these results until my event.

Okay, so it worked, but how was the experience? Oddly enough, not completely unpleasant. The two accelerator rinses tasted just like regular mouthwash. They did bubble up more than my usual mouthwash, and that caught me a little off-guard the first time around, but it wasn't horrible, by any stretch. The final whitening rinse was less fun, unfortunately. It had a very heavy peroxide taste, and I'm not entirely sure I made it the full 30 seconds before I sort of involuntarily spit it out. The trays were the part I was most concerned about, and they turned out to be the best part, believe it or not. I don't normally do well with trays. They're typically plastic, uncomfortable, and restrictive. These trays, on the other hand, were foam. They were soft, flexible, and I was even able to stick out my tongue at the dog when he looked at me like I was from another planet. I won't say that I forgot I was wearing them, but I wasn't chomping at the bit (sorry!) to get them out of my mouth. The gel tasted like peroxide, too, but wasn't as difficult to deal with as the final whitening rinse.

Oh, in case you're wondering, tooth sensitivity and temporary bleaching of the lips and gums are possible side effects, but I didn't experience either. In fact, I'm drinking an ice cold drink right now. I can't promise that you won't have any problems, but this is the first kit I've used that didn't leave me with touchy teeth and white gums. Just sayin'.  

Final Verdict: 8 out of 10. It works, and it's not a pain in the...er, mouth.

And Now, a Few Words From Prof. Higgins and Col. Pickering

I had a commercial audition earlier this week. As of right now, I haven't heard anything on it, but it went well, so if I don't get it, I won't blame myself. It will just be because they needed someone taller/shorter, blonder/darker, thinner/heavier, or, possibly, male. You never know, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

That, however, is not what this post is about. See, I had very little notice for this audition, which left me in a bit of a panic. I mean, I try to keep myself up--and I think I do pretty good job of it, too--but it seems like the only times I get called in for interviews, photo shoots, or auditions are the times when I'm inbetween hair colorings, desperately need a tan (so I don't glow in the dark), and have a zit the size of East Texas somewhere prominent on my face. Oh, and I'm extra bloated. I can't forget that. Can't have an audition unless I'm feeling super-duper super-sized. It's not allowed.

At first, I moaned for a while about choosing such a superficial profession, but the thing is, once I thought about it, I realized that we all go through this stuff. Maybe it's not an audition; maybe it's a corporate function you didn't plan to attend. Maybe it's a date with that someone you've been crushing on for...well, ever. Maybe you just got up one morning, looked in the mirror, and thought, "Good morning, Corpse Bride. I am totally worth more than this..." Whatever the reason, I thought I'd share some of the products I keep around for quick fixes on a tight budget*. At the end, I'll list everything discussed, with links.

Tell-Tale Roots and Grays
I can't stress enough the importance of having a trustworthy, professional colorist. That said, sometimes schedules, finances, and good old procrastination get in the way of making that hair appointment, and we have to make do as best we can. I keep a box of L'Oreal Root Rescue in my bathroom for emergencies. That way, if something important comes up and there is absolutely no way of getting to the salon, I can do a quick touch-up without adding hours to my prep time...and then I call Miss Jessica for a real coloring!

Puffy Eyes
I know our moms all told us to lay cucumbers over our eyes to get rid of puffiness, but who has time for that? My go-to for puffy eyes is the Ganier Nutrioniste Eye Roller. The metal ball cools while the caffeine-infused liquid de-puffs your under-eye baggage. One will run you less than $15 and last several months. Have a couple of days notice? Pat on a good eye cream before you go to bed (which we should all be doing anyway, and I am appalled that any of you could think that I would go even one night--yeah, I can't get through that sentence. I'm HORRIBLE about remembering). I'd recommend mine, but it's discontinued, and would have been insanely expensive had I not found it for $6 on sale. Instead, try Biore SkinPreservation See the Future Eye Cream. It's $13.99 at drugstore.com, and while I haven't personally tested this, it's gotten fantastic reviews.

Coffee-Drinker Teeth
Now, I know there are a bajillion whitening systems out there, with some only taking a couple of hours for full effect. Unfortunately, they are freaking expensive, and, quite frankly, I can't afford to keep something like that in my cabinet "just in case". Instead, I keep Colgate Optic White, an exceptionally good whitening toothpaste, and a whitening mouth rinse. They may not work as quickly, but I noticed an improvement right away, and better results with continued use. Got something special going on? Brush and rinse in the morning and after each meal, with one more good scrubbing right before you walk out the door. Best of all, the two together will only cost about ten dollars.

Dry, Flaky Skin
The last thing you want to do right before an event is a facial because they can cause breakouts. So, how are you supposed to exfoliate and moisturize? Um...by exfoliating and moisturizing, simple as that. When you wash your face, use either a facial scrub brush (like this one from Sephora. It's $18, but less expensive ones are also available), or you can carefully scrub with a coarse washcloth. I like to use circular motions, alternating directions. After washing, slather on a gentle moisturizer, like Philosophy Hope In a Jar, which is only $15 for a travel size.

Pimples and Blemishes and Zits, Oh, My!
So, you're already broken out. Welcome to my world. Above all, do not pick at your face! First, apply a towel-wrapped ice cube to the affected area to help bring down redness and swelling. Next, dab on a spot treatment (available at most drugstores for about $5). Once that dries, you can continue with your usual makeup routine, adding concealer to that area. Oh, you already popped it? Yeah, I probably would have, too. In that case, I hope you have overnight to deal with it. Use a drying paste formulated for popped pimples. Again, it'll run about five bucks. Now, don't do that again!

Puffy...Everything...
On short notice, there are a few little things you can do to de-puff. First of all, can the soft drinks and super salty foods for a day and drink as much water as you can stand. This will help flush out your system. Secondly (and, boy, does this sound ridiculous), before you get dressed, do as many crunches as you can without breaking a sweat. That's probably 20-50. Believe it or not, just that little bit will make your abs temporarily appear more toned. Not enough? Might I suggest a fun, effective shaper?

Snow White Legs
If you're day-glo, like me, and find yourself in the position of having to show off your legs with zero notice, you might want to try a quick-drying airbrush tanner. If you have a day or so to get ready, a tinted self-tanner might be more up your alley. In either case, make sure you shave and moisturize beforehand. An easy way to keep down streaks is to apply moisturizer to each section immediately before applying the tanner. If you're only doing your legs, keep the application light, so it just knocks the chill off of your skin, and wash your hands thoroughly after.

Five Minute Manicure
One of the easiest ways to look polished and put-together is a manicure. Now, I know I don't have the time or extra cash for a pro mani-pedi at the salon, but I can usually find about five minutes to file and slap on a coat of paint. Sally Hansen may not be my favorite line, but they have a fantastic collection of quick-dry, one coat polishes. Try one in a pale neutral to look effortlessly chic (and camoflauge any chips!), in about five minutes. Back when we filmed The Night Shift, I used Rapid Red, and could refresh my manicure standing up, oustide, balancing on my car door, and be ready to roll camera within minutes. A-mazing.

Droopy Locks
This is probably the easiest fix of all. When you wash your hair, make your final rinse a cold water rinse. It seals the cuticle and cuts down on frizz. Do the same thing when you blow dry--finish by blasting your hair with cool air, in a downward motion. If you're dealing with dull or lifeless hair, try adding a volumizing mousse to towel-dried hair before blow drying, then spritzing with a shine-enhancing finishing spray (this Bumble & Bumble is a little pricey at $26, but it will last a very long time, since you have to use it sparingly).

Alright, here's the list of direct links to my personal recommendations, but you could definitely use your own finds. Heck, if you find something that works really well, send it to me and I'll happily share it with the rest of the class!

The Bare Necessities
Root Touch-Up
Eye Roller
Eye Cream
Whitening Toothpaste
Whitening Mouth Rinse
Facial Brush or Coarse Washcloth
Moisturizer
Acne Spot Treatment
Popped Pimple Drying Paste
Shapewear
Airbrush Tanner or Self Tanner
Quick-Dry, Neutral Nail Polish
Volumizing Mousse
Shine Spray

*Disclaimer: I am not an esthetician, cosmetologist, or in any way qualified to give expert advice. These are tricks and products that I, a normal, average person, use myself on a regular basis, with positive results.