In Defense of Ben Affleck: a Rant

Last night brought us the post heard 'round the world: Ben Affleck is the new Batman. Thomas saw it before I did, and had to double-check to make sure he wasn't reading The Onion. I was a little taken aback at first, but then I thought about it for a second...and was okay with it. While Affleck wouldn't have been my first choice (I have no idea who would have, to be honest), the casting actually makes sense. It's odd, but I questioned the heck out of Heath Ledger as The Joker, and look what that got us.

Now, before we go any further, I want to be absolutely clear that I am not looking forward to this movie. You don't want to get me started on Man of Steel, but, suffice it to say, I didn't see it twice. However, I'm going to try to keep an open mind and hope that the things I questioned are addressed and/or fixed in the sequel. I'm telling you this so that you understand that I'm not just fangirl-ing it up here, and would be happy with whomever was chosen. That's most definitely not the case, but I do agree with this particular casting decision, and here's why:

This Is Not the Dark Knight
True, Christopher Nolan's name is on the production, but this is not his Batman. Nolan is not writing/directing this movie (nor did he Man of Steel). This is Zach Snyder's baby, however you want to take that. The Nolan universe has nothing to do with this particular movie, so Affleck isn't "replacing" Christian Bale anymore than Christian Bale replaced Michael Keaton or Adam West. These are completely separate entities, with the only difference being that the movies are spaced extremely close together. Whoever ended up playing Bruce Wayne/Batman would not need to be a carbon copy of Christian Bale, because that particular version of the character might not even work in this movie. The actor would simply need to be someone capable of playing this incarnation. Now, I haven't seen the script (obviously), but if you need someone to play a mature, charming, attractive, trust-fund-type, and also happen to look decent in spandex, you could do a lot worse than Affleck.  

Michael Keaton
And while we're on the subject of former Bruce Waynes, let's look at Keaton. Prior to Batman, he had been mostly associated with straight-up comedies like The Dream Team, Johnny Dangerously, Mr. Mom, Night Shift, and Beetlejuice. Sure, he was cute, but not debonaire, and nothing about him screamed "action star"...and people loved him. For many, he was the quintessential Batman. Keaton was a funny guy with a winning smile who came out of nowhere and surprised us all. Affleck has that winning smile and charm, and, believe it or not, a resume that qualifies him to play Batman (ignoring Daredevil, because everyone else already has--ba dum bum!). In Hollywoodland, he played the first Superman, while also headlining a truly disturbing drama. In Bounce, he played a man wracked with guilt over his tragic past. More recently, The Town demonstrated his physicality and range. True, not every title on his IMDb page is a winner (or even a contender), but we tend to forget that the guy who starred in Gigli is the same guy that brought us Argo.

Kevin Smith
The Comic Book Man himself has given Affleck a ringing endorsement. Yes, they're friends, but seriously, if anyone was going to have a problem with this, it would be Kevin Smith. Also, because they're friends, and because Smith is such an ardant fan of the character, Affleck will have access to all of the research material he could ever hope for. Plus, if he sucks, he'll have to endure a lifetime of being picked on by a guy who gets paid to joke about Batman. Heck, Smith rags on his own movies!

In summation, I'm not yelling from the rooftops that Ben Affleck is going to be the greatest Batman ever. I don't know that the movie is going to be any good, or if he'll be good in it. All I'm asking is that people stop focusing on the fact that this guy has a bromance with Matt Damon, and starred in a few bad movies with J-Lo, and try to remember that he's also the guy who wrote, directed, and starred in last year's Oscar winner for Best Motion Picture. I'm not excited for the movie, but I'm going to give him a shot.

Life With the Smiths (Or, I Really Need a Vacation)

I was flipping through the pictures on my phone today (read: I was bored), and came to the realization that Thomas and I are really weird. Also, I take pictures of the most random things. For example:

This picture was taken in July. July. Also, it's toast. Look closely. I assure you, that is toast, cut into a gingerbread man shape, slathered with icing, and dusted with sprinkles. We needed to shoot the poster image for Night of the Krampus, and I didn't have any cookie mix in the house. Oops. So, I improvised. And photographed it. For some unknown reason.

This is my kitchen backsplash. Thomas and I went through bloody heck to put this thing up, so I'm as proud of it as some folks are their antique cars. First, we had to pick out the tile, which was, of course, out of stock. Then we stalked the home improvement store a week or so until we could buy it, and then--and only then--were informed that it wasn't the sticky back, self-adhering type, but it was twice the price we thought it would be. There was grout involved. We ran out halfway through. Thomas threatened to divorce me four times. I threatened to kill him twice. A fun time was had by all. It looks fantastic now that it's all up. Of course, now the countertops look awful...

Thomas decided to be Batman for Halloween. This is the best picture I have of him in his costume, because the "professional quality" rental had to be held onto his body with duct tape and prayer. Indoor lighting was not its friend. In the dark, though, he looked amazing, and even had trick-or-treaters' parents asking for pictures with him. He had a blast, and talked like Christian Bale for about a week before and after.

It's a flying elf!!!! I love this picture! During the Night of the Krampus shoot, I snapped a few in-production photos, and this was a complete accident. The little boy jumped from the stairs to the ground, and somehow the stars aligned and I got this shot that naturally looks photoshopped. He's so clear, and the background is so fuzzy, and he looks like he's hovering in mid-air. Plus, the face is fantastic. Love, love, love.

Everyone should have a Herbie. Nothing says, "Fun times!" like a narcissistic skeleton torso in a plaid blazer and beret. Why, I keep one Herbie in the guest room closet, and another in a storage locker, just to be sure I'm never without the arrogant little so-and-so! Here he is with Soren, after we finished a shoot. Soren still has on his makeup, and we were all a little punchy. Herbie, of course, was a total diva throughout the entire day.

This is what happens when you watch too many Jurassic Park special features in a row. We had just watched a featurette on how they created the scene with the velociraptors in the kitchen, when I decided I needed a snack. This greeted me, and I darn near fell on the floor laughing. It's like Ronnie's little stuffed dinosaur wanted to imitate the movie, and failed epically. Still cracks me up. (Can't you just hear his sad little baby Rawr?)

Speaking of Ronnie, here he is sword fighting with Thomas. We make our own fun, y'all.

Thanks for joining me on this little journey into my weird life. This is what happens when you're trying to finish one film and promote another while trying to buy a house during Holy week (and you work for a Catholic church). I'm approaching delirium. Have a great day, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Fighting for Truth, Justice, and the Occasional Treat

My puppy thinks he's Superman.

I'm perfectly fine with that. When Thomas puts this little costume on Ronnie, the dog's entire demeanor changes. He stands up a little straighter. His ears perk up a little higher. He is SuperRonnie, the Magnificent.

I love my dog.

Happy Halloween to all of our furry little friends! If you're thinking of taking your pet trick-or-treating, here's a really helpful, informative article you might want to read first. Ronnie's going with us--no question!--but he's probably going to spend the evening watching over the city from the safety of Thomas'--I mean, Batman's loving arms. Oh, yes, there will be pictures.

Why Must You Taunt Me So?

This came to me yesterday, and I have scoured the Internet like mad ever since. These items are, sadly, not available in the US...yet. I will continue to hold out hope. I give you...

Photo Credit (This and Below): Tokyo Fashion

...Batman lingerie!!!

How cute is that?! This set is from Aimerfeel's "We (Heart) Hero" collection, which also features this little number:

Look at the itty-bitty ears!!!! Oh, me wants it, my precious!!! Superman styles are also available, but I'm really digging the Batman sweetness. See you tomorrow! Same adorable time, same adorable channel!

Holy Inappropriate, Batman!

Let me preface this with a "no". Actually, let me make that a "NO! No way on God's green Earth!!" I want to make this perfectly clear, Thomas. This is never, never going to happen. Ever. For any reason. I hope I've made that clear enough for you.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering what I'm so vehemently against. Well, folks, here you go:


Photo Credits: Geekology

 The Batman room at Eden Motel in Taiwan. Right, it seems kitschy and cool at first, and were this simply a hotel room decorated around a pop-culture theme, I'd be all for it. Heck, I'd probably be the one to suggest it. Unfortunately, this is not the sort of establishment with which I wish to be affiliated. It is, however, the sort of establishment which I would wish to mock.

First off, it rents by the hour. $50 for every three hours, to be precise. On holidays, they even throw in...um...adult perks of the variety one might find in a gas station restroom. Hoo, boy! That gets me all hot and bothered...geez...

Perhaps I'll be more impressed by a tour of the room. Let's have a little look-see, shall we?

Here we go: a life-size version of the front of the Batmobile. Well, that's cool, I guess. Of course, it's in nowhere near a good place to see the television. I'm also appalled at the placement of that mirror. I mean, it's not exactly the most convenient place for one. How's a girl supposed to check her lipstick, or make sure that her slip's not showing, or...oh. Gotcha. Moving on. I'll just keep my thoughts on the massage table to myself.

Okay, now we're talking! A huge flat-screen television, mini-bar and fridge, cool recessed lighting...and a bathtub right in the middle of the room? Um...no shower? And really, I'd like a little privacy when I...oh. Gotcha. That would explain the...I'm going with "fireplace" right above. I'd ask where one might find the toilet, but I'm not sure I want to know.

No, Thomas. No.

Ridiculous

Friday night, as I turned off the Netflix streaming to go to bed, the television switched briefly to a showing of Superman III. You know, the one with an evil Supe and Richard Pryor...well, being Richard Pryor? I turned the movie off just as Richard Pryor started his Patton impression. Saturday morning, Thomas turned the television back on, and lo and behold, there's old Richard, rallying the troops...

...and Thomas on the floor, laughing his head off, certain that we'd screwed up the space-time continuum. Ridiculous.

Sunday afternoon, we put on an old 1960s Batman, where the Caped Crusader tangled with the Green Hornet. In it, the object of the boys' mutual affection is kidnapped, and leaves behind only a bowl of alphabet soup that her pink dog, Apricot, had been munching on. Batman is certain it's a clue, and sure enough, the bowl spells out a lengthy call for help, complete with punctuation. Ridiculous.

Just now, though, I have seen something so ridiculous that it puts those two examples to shame. Folks, I have seen this: The $13,997 Prom Dress. Seriously.

Photo Credit: dressgoddess.com

The bodice of this dress is encrusted with more than $13K worth of hand-sewn diamonds. Seriously. It's available in sizes 00 through 12, and uses the La Femme gown style as a base. That dress, by the way, is available for $398. If I recall correctly, my prom dress cost a little over a hundred dollars. I'd be tempted to scrounge up a Bedazzler and save a few (thousand) bucks to put toward (read: pay for) college.

Ridiculous.

Comic-Conned

Thomas and I took a little road trip to New Orleans this past weekend. A friend of mine mentioned on Facebook that she was thinking of taking her little girl to New Orleans Comic-Con to see the Batmobile, which led to this:

Me: Hey, did you know New Orleans had a Comic-Con?

Thomas: WHAT?! WHEN?!

Me: This weekend, it looks like. Apparently they're getting the Batmobile, and Adam West will be there. Oh! I think they're getting Billy Dee...

Thomas: WE'RE GOING!!!!!!!!!

A few minutes later, we had online tickets in hand, and a schedule of Saturday's events. We thought we'd leave around 9am, get there around 11, grab a quick lunch, and get in line for James Marster's noon panel. Immediately following was Billy Dee Williams, then Nicholas Brendan (the Con was Buffy-centric this year). After the panels, we'd check out the exhibitor's floor, try to snag some Supernatural or Doctor Who t-shirts, ogle the Batmobile and DeLorian, then head back for Adam West and Burt Ward's Batman panel. We'd finish up around 5pm, grab some beignets at Cafe du Monde, and get home at a reasonable hour.

It was a good plan.

You know what they say about plans...

Here are some things I learned during NOLA Comic-Con:

1) Closing two out of three lanes of interstate during peak tourist season (Mardi Gras, football) should be a punishable offense.

2) Never believe the price on the parking lot sign. That's just the fee for turning into the driveway. The real price will be much, much higher.

3) Buying your ticket online doesn't just ensure admission, it also ensures a much longer wait for wristbands than just walking in and buying a ticket. Those people just waltzed up to the front, then breezed off with a band. I got to wait so long that I started a game of "count the cosplayers".

4) James Marsters is awesome (okay, already knew that). Also, in a pinch, he makes a great chauffeur*.

5) Billy Dee Williams is getting up there. His moderator answered a lot of the audience's questions. That said, he's still worlds cooler than I could ever hope to be.

6) Bring snacks. Also, Lysol.

7) Advertisers lie. There was no Batmobile. There was no Ecto-1. There was a DeLorian, but it cost $20 to take a picture of it with your own camera. In fact, there was pretty much a charge to take pictures of anything. I can understand that with the celebs, but displays? Really?

8) Ernie Hudson still looks fabulous in a Ghostbusters uniform, and Chekov is the most adorable little guy, ever.

9) The middle of a crowded exhibition hall is no place for an impromptu Mardi Gras parade, complete with floats. It's a wonder the fire department didn't step in on that one.
10) Batman and Robin are still the dynamic duo, even after forty years. Of course, you'll have to trust me on that, as I was not allowed to photograph any of the panel. Blast!

Now, I really wish I could leave this list at ten, but after I got home, I learned another important lesson: Sometimes, people steal.

No, nothing of mine was taken. Truth is, I almost bought some hot property from a vendor. There was a really cool print for sale in one of the booths--a Doctor Who caricature collage, with all eleven Doctors. It was only $20, but at the time, I couldn't think of a place to hang it in my apartment. It wasn't until Sunday night that I really started to regret my decision, and started an online hunt for a copy.

As it turns out, that's exactly what it was: a copy.

Photo Credit: Jon Pinto

The artist is Jon Pinto, an illustrator from Clermont, FL, and he is not happy about people selling his work. See, up until a few months ago, folks could download and print copies of his paintings free of charge. Unfortunately, instead of hanging on walls for personal use, copies were showing up for sale at cons--and Pinto, himself, caught one of the thieves. From then on, a watermark has gone on every image, and the downloads have been stopped. I'm so glad I didn't (unintentionally) contribute to intellectual piracy, but I'm also saddened that I can't buy a copy of my own. For now, I'll just keep checking his blog and deviantART site, in hopes of one day seeing a "buy now" button pop up.

So, it wasn't the best con ever. At least I was able to grab some beignets for the ride home.

*So, there was a fun story at the Billy Dee Williams panel (told, of course, by the moderator). Seems that the driver sent to pick Mr. Williams and Mr. Marsters up from the airport was...um...incapacitated. Story is, he was okay enough to ask everyone for autographs, but then started driving erratically. Amid the screaming of "I'sh omkay! I can drivesh! I promish I'mmmokay!" the two gentlemen (plus another passenger I can't recall) finally persuaded him to pull over to the side of the road, where Mr. Marsters took it upon himself to play designated driver for the remainder of the trip to the hotel. The End.

Bombshell 101

I want to be Catwoman when I grow up. Thomas and I found a channel that shows the old Adam West Batman series, and after about two minutes of screen-time, I'd fallen in love with Catwoman. Sure, she's a villain. She purrs lousy puns and disarms superheroes with kittens (really? Kittens? You'd think the "Boy Wonder" could take down a kitty cat, but I digress), but she does so with great style, a smattering of snark, and an abundance of self-confidence. I think it's the latter of the three that I most admire: self-confidence.

You don't have to be the most gorgeous woman on Earth to turn heads. There are actresses who are known for stopping traffic who are not what you would call "classically beautiful". What sets them apart is the confidence they exude. They know themselves, are comfortable with themselves, and that assuredness bursts through from the inside out. They just sparkle. That's why they shine on camera. That's why photographers hound them. That's why men want them and why women want to be them. It's not necessarily that they are beautiful, it's that they feel beautiful.

Another thing: they also know their assets and play them up. You never see Christina Hendricks or Scarlette Johannsen in anything that doesn't show off their amazing curves. Julia Roberts draws attention to her eyes and mega-watt smile. Adorable little Carey Mulligan chopped her hair short to show off her pixie face. Lauren Hutton has made a career off of the gap in her teeth. The list goes on. They know themselves. They know what works for them, and they make the most of it. That's what makes them sexy. That's what makes them stars.

It's not about up-to-there skirts and down-to-there blouses. It's not about showing skin or flirting shamelessly. It's about owning yourself; realizing that you're worth the extra thirty seconds it takes to throw on lipgloss or eyeliner--or not! I know some women who abhor makeup, and are all the more beautiful for it. Catwoman may have been silly, but she owned that silliness and made it look good.

It's not vanity, folks, but confidence that makes a woman breathtaking. No amount of money spent on products, or time spent in front of the mirror can replace that.

What inspired this little lecture? A fascinating article in Elle by "good girl" writer, April Long. She went on a quest to become a bombshell, and learned she'd been one all along. Each of us is, in our own way. The most important step to becoming a bonafide bombshell is not lipstick. It's not the hairstyle. It's confidence. You can read the article here, and I highly recommend it.