The Ugly Sweater Party Has Been Cancelled

*I like to keep this blog G-rated, so this post has been edited for television.

[Thank] you, weather! It's a [thankful] seventy-three degrees outside? How in the [heck] is anyone supposed to get in the [gall dern] Christmas spirit wearing [fashion] shorts and flip flops? Somebody's gonna have a [cluckin'] heatstroke hanging the [pot clam?] icicle lights! [Flibbertygibbit blargle blargle harumph]!

Clearly, I have a career in dialogue editing before me.

In all seriousness, though, it really is 73-degrees down here in the ninth cir--Deep South, and the heat is truly putting a damper on my holiday fun. As I type, I'm in tissue-thin short sleeves, no socks, and my hair is off my neck. I've gone back to the tinted moisturizer to keep from sweating off foundation, and that's with the air-conditioner running. Sure, the tree is pretty in any temperature, but I felt downright stupid setting out my snowmen figurines and snowflake stocking hangers. I know it's not his fault, but when I see the weatherman, I can't help but picture him green, furry, and wearing a pathetic Santa suit.

So, Southern brethren, I've put together a list of things that might help us, at least, fake a white Christmas; kind of like how S.A.D. sufferers use their little light boxes. Good luck! Now, does anyone have any peppermint-scented sunscreen?

Photo Credit: Think Geek

Nothing says "Christmas" like handfuls of fluffy, white, snow. Heck, there's even a song about it! Fake it till you make it with this wonder of science! Just add water, and watch drifts of snow magically form! Like regular snow, it doesn't last forever (it dries out, so you can reuse it). Unlike snow, it doesn't make the best ice cream, so don't eat it.

Photo Credit: Best Buy

You know, I have a fireplace. It's beautiful, and one day, maybe it won't be hotter 'n Hades outside, so I can light the darn thing! Until then, I have this delightful, realistic (?), facsimile of a roaring fire. Unfortunately, I look like an idiot trying to roast chestnuts over the tv.

Photo Credit: Bath and Body Works

If you can't be cold, you can at least smell the cold with this chilly candle. Heck, I might light mine when I get home, pour a mug of hot cocoa, snuggle up on the sofa with the puppy, and sweat off fifteen pounds of water weight.

Al Gore, I totally blame you.**

**not really.

Everything But the Kitchen House Elf

Just a quick note to my friends and family: there are only 141 shopping days until Christmas (unless my math is off. Which it probably is).

Photo Credit: Entertainment Weekly

EXPECTO MYHEADTOEXPLODUS!

This is the latest special edition Harry Potter DVD collection. The "Wizard's Collection" releases September 7, 2012, and is available for pre-order on Amazon for a whopping $349.96--and that's a huge discount off of the original $499.99 pricetag!!

According to Amazon, here's what you get:

The magical film franchise is now available in a spectacular limited-edition collectible box set. The most comprehensive Harry Potter movie collection yet features all eight films, exclusive never-before-seen content and must-have memorabilia.

This new limited and numbered 31-disc collection contains all eight Harry Potter movies on Blu-ray, DVD and UltraViolet Digital Copy and more than 37 hours of special features including all previously released materials and more than 10 hours of new to disc bonus content, and 5 hours of never-before-seen material.

In addition to the theatrical release of every film, the collection also includes the extended versions of  Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; and the 3D versions of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows –- Parts 1 and 2.

My take on it? If you are a die-hard fan, yet don't already own all of the movies on Blu-ray, haven't had a chance to see any of the television specials that have aired, documenting the music, monsters, and special effects, and haven't made it to either The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida or the WB store online to pick up some memorabilia, then I could maybe justify the price tag. Maybe. It's really, freaking cool, though.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

Bring the Magic Home (Or Don't)

Photo Credit: Amazon

If you're itching to finally own all of the Harry Potter movies, you can now pre-order a bare bones collection at Amazon for $89.99. That's $50 off MSRP, for the record. It's a Blu-ray collection, with all eight films and their previously released special features. The official release date is November 11th. If this is your first time buying any of the films, it's not a bad deal. IHowever, if you're just dying for new material, you might want to hold off for a bit. Nothing's been announced, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if there's a fancy-schmancy special edition collection on the horizon. (Standard Definition is also available for $64.99.)

If Wishes Were Hippogriffs...

I saw this today, and thought of you guys. It's an artist's fantasy rendering of what a Criterion Collection release of the Harry Potter movies might look like. Please note that this is not an actual product, nor have the nice people at Criterion mentioned doing anything with the Potter franchise. This is just one artist's dream, and how he would handle the job.

Photo Credit (This and Below): Patrick Sullivan

Isn't that gorgeous! I adore the newspaper style for the back cover. Patrick Sullivan is a senior at prestigious Cooper Union. This collection will be part of his Senior Portfolio (think: thesis for the artistic types), and is still kind of a work in progress. A typo or two need to be fixed, and some minor details have yet to be tweaked, but all in all, it's a staggeringly beautiful project. I know I'd be tickled to have it in my home.

To learn more about Patrick, check out his facebook, or click the above link to see the rest of the collection.