Nothing a Good Mai Tai Probably Couldn't Fix

Photo Credit: Sephora

Okay. The picture round-up is currently on-going, so I'm going to have to put off any Disney tales till next week. I know; you're heartbroken, but I'm sure you'll find a way to get by.

I will say, that after three full days of sweating glowing in the hotter'n Hades beautiful Florida sunshine, I could literally feel the dirt invading my pores. I could see the clogs. That's bad. I did the best I could to combat the elements: drank lots of water, scrubbed my face at least twice a day, used tinted moisturizer instead of foundation, and tried to let my skin breathe as much as possible. It didn't matter. I am so broken out, people are mistaking me for a high schooler. Of course, I'm sure my being short isn't helping with their confusion.

As soon as I got home, I washed my face (again), and slathered on my Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque. True to form, it cleared out a significant amount of clogged pores and blackheads. Still, my face was in a state of trauma. You don't think about the wringer your skin goes through while you're laughing it up in the Happiest Place On Earth (okay, I know that's Disneyland, but same deal). We've established there's the heat and sweat and dirt...fine. There's also greasy food (which, I know, dermatologists have said that the grease you put in your stomach doesn't affect your skin...try eating pizza without getting some on your face. I dare you), drastic changes in enviroment (a/c in the car, airplane atmosphere, getting on and off rides, fog machines, wind machines, etc.), sleep deprivation, too many cokes and not enough water, little germy kids with little germy hands that touch all the same things you touch...I could go on, but you see my point? Even after the masque my skin was still screaming.

Yesterday, I happened upon Ole Henriksen's Blue/Black Berry Enzyme Mask. According to Sephora:

This potently calming blend of lavender, papaya enzyme, blueberries, and blackberries gently polishes the skin, relieving facial stress and delivering smooth results.

Well, that sounded like it might help. There was a fantastic sale, so I snapped this puppy up for only six bucks.

So, last night, after work, I put on my jammies, washed my face and pulled my hair back, opened up the jar and spread the contents all over my face. Then, I sat down to relax and watch some television.

The Good: The scent. Wow. This mask has a very strong lavender fragrance, but not a fakey, chemically one. This is real lavender, and it is extremely calming. The gel mask is downright frosty, and there are also no parabens, sulfates, or artificial colors. In fact, there's no color at all. It's clear, which also keeps you from having that whole Wicked Witch of the West thing going on.

The Bad: I had a hard time washing the mask off, and really, I couldn't tell if it did anything to my skin. I followed up with a moisturizer, partially because you should always follow a mask with a good moisturizer, and partially because my skin felt really dry. That's not a good sign when it's supposed to be a hydrating mask.

The Ugly: Normally, this is priced at $32. That's insane.

I'm going to give this another go. The directions said it could be used 2-3 times weekly, so it may just be very gentle. If nothing else, twenty minutes of inhaling lavender might relax me enough to not care about my skin anymore. I say, for six bucks, it's worth a second look. For $32, I suggest you keep your money and look elsewhere.

Final Verdict: It'll calm your nerves, but not necessarily your face. 4 out of 10.

It's Like a Heatwave, Burning In My...Oh, Everything...

So, it's a million and twelve degrees down here in the Deep South, with about 5000% humidity. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating...slightly. All I know is that it's hot. I mean, ice-water-chugging, egg-frying-on-the-sidewalk, Fall-can't-get-here-fast-enough miserable. My apartment can't seem to get any cooler than 80 degrees, and that's with the AC cranked up, ceiling fans, and one of those Hawaiian Breeze ocillating fans. The birds love it. Of course, they're tropical and I am not.

I know it's not just here, too. The whole country seems to be in a continuous heatwave this Summer, and for that, I'm sorry. I went through three or four cans of hairspray on The Night Shift, so I take full blame for any extra holes in the ozone. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

As atonement, I have compiled a survival guide to help you cope with these Dog Days of Summer. To keep things simple (and inexpensive), all products can be found at Target.

Personally, I'd like to forget about clothing altogether, at this point, but I think the people I work with would appreciate if I stayed as covered up as humanly possible. This little white dress is a fair alternative to going full-out Lady Godiva.

I like that it's 100% cotton, so it breathes, and the design is airy, but covered up and dressy enough that you could wear it to work in a casual office setting. A word of caution, though: reviewers have mentioned that it is a bit on the sheer side (so be careful of your undergarments, ladies), and that you might want to skip putting it in the dryer. They've also mentioned quality construction, comparable to Forever 21. Mossimo, $15.38, Target.com.

There have been days when it was too hot to even wear flip-flops, but shoes are pretty much a necessity in civilized society. Might I suggest a pair like these? First off, they're dressy/casual, so they're versatile. Secondly, the cork is absorbant, which...well, let's face it: feet sweat. I'd rather not slosh around in my shoes, thank you very much. Cork is also very soft and tends to mold to your foot for comfort. Mossimo, $12.99, Target.com.

I'm actually carrying this purse right now. I've had it for about three months, and love it. It's roomy enough to carry what you need, but small enough that you can't fill it with the entire contents of Mary Poppins Carpet Bag. The cotton construction allows the purse (and what's inside it) to breathe, keeping your stuff from getting too hot. It's also washable, durable, and cute as pie. Available in several colors and patterns. Merona, $7.00 (really!!), Target.com.

Please remember sunscreen!! Around here, burn times run about ten minutes. Really, I don't care what brand you use--if it's sports, kids, spray, lotion, or purple--just use something! Sunburns suck, but skin cancer is so much worse. Neutrogena, $9.94, Target.com.

I don't know about you, but lotion melts off my legs, these days. I still need something to keep them moisturized (sweat doesn't count), and this light body mist is just the thing. Put out by Soap & Glory, Girligo is a non-greasy spray moisturizer that leaves your skin silky smooth and freshly scented. I'm also in love with the retro packaging. Soap & Glory, $11.99, Target.com.

Last, but not least, let's put on a little color without worrying about it melting in the car. CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain is, well, just what it says it is. It's a long-wearing lipstain. What's cool about it is that it comes in a marker form--sort of like a Sharpie for your face. Also, unlike many lipstains, it's moisturizing, so you don't end up with flaky lips, or need to carry around a separate lip balm or gloss to put over it. CoverGirl, $7.89, Target.com.

There. We can all "glow" instead of "puddle". Now, maybe Al Gore will get off my back. Again, sorry.

*Photos by Target