Review: Simple Smoothing Facial Scrub

I ran out of my Olay Skin Smoothing Cream Scrub--which I love--and thought that now would be a good time to try out this Simple Smoothing Facial Scrub that I keep seeing everywhere. I've been using the Simple wipes for months and really like them, and my Mom's been raving about their undereye roller. Ulta sent me a $5 off coupon, so really, there was no time like the present. I snapped up one of the last bottles in the store, and excitedly went home to wash my face.

Um...I don't like it. At all. Not. A. Fan.

Let's break this down:

The Good
I like the packaging. The product comes in an inverted Spring green squeeze tube. The tube is also translucent, so you can see how much product you have left and not be caught off guard by an empty tube. The print work on the tube is attractive and...well, simple. I'm also impressed by Simple's promise to never use dyes, fragrances, or irritants, as well as their low price point. This tube was $7.99 before coupon.

The Bad
This stuff smells awful. I'm all for not using perfumes, but this product doesn't smell "natural"; in fact, it smells downright chemical. That's actually the word Thomas used to describe it when I asked him to sniff the tube. To me, the scrub reeks of bug spray. It's just not pleasant.

Another thing that's not pleasant is the exfoliator. Simple uses rice granules, but they're so large that they don't so much smooth your skin as assault it. If I wanted to scrape my skin, I could just use my fingernails, thank you. Also, the granules do not dissolve, so if you use this in the bath (and I do), the granules stay in the bath water. Granted, this does mean that they, in effect, scrub your entire body, but not well, not comfortably, and not on purpose. It's just kind of gross.

The Ugly
In in a fancy circle on the front of the tube, you'll see the word "moisturizing". Ignore that. My skin has felt tight and dry after each washing. I've also experienced some breakouts, but I can't definitively point to this as the culprit. I'm pretty sure, but can't say for a fact.

I'm stuck with this stuff for the moment, so I'll keep you posted if anything new develops. The wipes are great. I've really enjoyed the toner. This is not up to par with those. If you're looking for an inexpensive scrub, go with the Olay. I know I will be.

Final Verdict: 3.6 out of 10. Try the line, but skip this.

Magic Bag O' Samples: GlamGlow Mud Mask

I'm about three and a half weeks out from filming in High Definition. That means that I need to 1) learn my lines (whoops...), 2) lose about ten pounds (not happening), and 3) get my skin HD ready. I might actually be able to do that last one.

About a week ago, I was able to get my hands on a deluxe sample size of GlamGlow Tingling & Exfoliating Mud Mask. It's, supposedly, this miracle product that you slather on, and when you rinse it off fifteen minutes later you're Christie Brinkley circa Uptown Girl. Yeah...right.

Here's what Sephora has to say about it:

This mud mask leaves skin noticeably radiant and glowing. It activates moisturizing collagen synthesis, provides gentle resurfacing exfoliation, and helps to leave skin smoother, brighter, and softer. While providing tighter skin texture and tighter pores, it provides a more youthful appearance and absorbs impurities without removing natural oils.

And GlamGlow, themselves:

Designed for Hollywood’s Entertainment, Music, Fashion and Award industries for camera-ready soft glowing skin. Dredged off the coast of Southern France, home to glamorous Cannes, St. Tropez and Monaco. GLAMGLOW is an amazing rapid gentle exfoliant mud mask for men and women, high in ancient volcanic pumice rock, super antioxidants and minerals.

Those are some serious claims! I figured, I'd try it now, and at worst, I'd break out and have a month to get over it. At best, my skin might look nice for Thanksgiving, and I might save the rest of the tube to use before filming for a little extra oomph.

Um...I bought a jar.

Well, to be more specific, Thomas and I went in together on a jar, and we got it through Amazon for about half the retail price. I'm sorry, but the day I shell out almost seventy bucks for a face mask is the day you can cart me off to the looney bin. Not that it isn't worth it, but I just don't have that kind of money. Anyhoo, back to the story.

I put on the mask, which is very pleasant and natural-smelling, and has large bits of green tea leaves scattered throughout. It's very scrubby, and left a lovely cooling feeling, but I wasn't seeing any magic, yet. After fifteen minutes, the mask was very dry, hard, flaky, and downright uncomfortable. In fact, it had begun to itch, so I ran back to the bathroom to rinse it off. That's when I saw it. The pores on my nose were, dare I say, clear! Actually, all of the skin on my face was clear, save for one pimple that showed up as a result of the mask, and was quickly dealt with (with an extractor! Be careful, folks!). I could tell an immediate difference in the look and feel of my skin, and even ran into the living room, yelling for Thomas to feel my face. Why he puts up with me, I'll never know...

The effects lasted for almost three days. I did feel the need to do a "touch up" mask after two days, but probably could have gotten by without it. Thomas has trouble with the pores on his nose clogging up, so he used a little just in that area, and was really happy with the results. After a couple of days of discussing it, we decided to go in together on a jar.

This is, easily, the best mask I've ever used. I have a fancy-schmancy one from Basin, the tried-and-true Queen Helene Mint Julep, and have slathered on more strawberries and avacados than you can shake a stick at, but this one tops them all. My skin is smoother, brighter, more supple...it glows. I'm still a little too young to be able to tell if it tightens or helps with wrinkles, but even if it doesn't, it's still worth trying out--especially during holiday party season! My advice: go to Amazon. Prices are considerably cheaper, the sellers are generally reputable (mine came from Amazon, directly), and you can find smaller sizes.

Final Verdict: 9 out of 10. The price is the only thing keeping this from being a freaking 11.

Yummy Treats and Scary Faces

Well, this is the last thing my diet needs.

 

Krispy Kreme (conveniently located about a mile from my house) has just revealed their Halloween offerings. My skinny jeans are totally going in the donation pile; I can tell that now.

 

Anyhoo, those of you not counting every blasted calorie can look forward to Jack O'Lantern, Spider Web, Pumpkin Spice, and Chocolate Iced Halloween Sprinkle doughnuts. According to QSRWeb, here's what to expect:

 

Jack-o-Lantern Doughnut: A pumpkin-shaped doughnut wearing a mask of orange icing and a jack-o-lantern face.

Chocolate Iced with Halloween Sprinkles Doughnut: An orange and black sprinkled doughnut.

Spider Web Doughnut: A chocolate-iced doughnut with Kreme filling and a web of white icing.

Pumpkin Spice Doughnut: An old-fashioned cake doughnut made with pumpkin flavors and spices and finished with Krispy Kreme's Original Glaze.

The Pumpkin Spice will stick around until November 27th, but all the other flavors are out of there come Halloween, so grab 'em while you can. I know I will...*sigh*

 

Photo Credit: Bath and Body Works

Moving on to something that won't add ten pounds, I gave Bath and Body Works' True Blue Spa Blackberry Purifying Peel Off Mask a shot (that's a mouthful). Actually, I conned Thomas into doing it with me, so I wouldn't look totally stupid all by myself. You see, masks just look silly, pure and simple. Clear ones are awesome. Green ones are kind of the norm, but lead to "take me to your leader" jokes. White ones make me look like Marcel Marceau. But this one...well, this one was thick and black. I put a little on my nose and looked like a puppy. If I was going to spend the next 10-20 minutes looking ridiculous, he was doing it with me. For better or for worse, right?

 

Now, I've had a little bit of experience with black masks before, and I have to say, I wasn't impressed. Yeah, it worked like a charm, but it was a pain in the rear to use. I got this hoping for similar results with less hassle. Unfortunately, you can't always get what you want.

 

Ease of Use: 8 out of 10. I had no problem applying this mask. Thomas did, but he has a tendency to jab at his face like it's going to bite him when he applies anything to it. You have to spread this on almost like frosting, and make sure you have your hair pulled completely away from your face. Likewise, for me, removal was a cinch. Actually, by the time I starting peeling, some of the mask had already lifted up at the edges. Thomas had more trouble, but only because he didn't apply it thickly enough. Even so, he was able to get most of it off before finally washing off the remainder. Clean up wasn't a problem with this mask, either. What fell in the sink dissolved, and the rest could either be thrown in the trash or flushed.

 

Effectiveness: 2 out of 10. It's okay. It exfoliated my skin and left it feeling very soft and smooth, but I couldn't see where it unclogged any pores. Thomas thought his pores were clearer (Lord, he's a good sport), but wasn't blown away by the mask. Basically, it's good for a quick brightening, but that's about it, and considering this is billed as "purifying", that just doesn't cut it.

 

Comfort: 9 out of 10. I love wearing this mask. It does tighten up, but it's not miserable. I could still carry on a conversation without my lips pursing up like Daffy Duck's. This is also the most delicious smelling mask I've ever worn. It smells like candy, and I was actually sad to take it off. Thomas thought it smelled good, too.

 

Final Verdict: 6.3 out of 10. If you just need a fast and easy pick-me-up, you could do worse for $12. Just don't expect it to work miracles.

Nothing a Good Mai Tai Probably Couldn't Fix

Photo Credit: Sephora

Okay. The picture round-up is currently on-going, so I'm going to have to put off any Disney tales till next week. I know; you're heartbroken, but I'm sure you'll find a way to get by.

I will say, that after three full days of sweating glowing in the hotter'n Hades beautiful Florida sunshine, I could literally feel the dirt invading my pores. I could see the clogs. That's bad. I did the best I could to combat the elements: drank lots of water, scrubbed my face at least twice a day, used tinted moisturizer instead of foundation, and tried to let my skin breathe as much as possible. It didn't matter. I am so broken out, people are mistaking me for a high schooler. Of course, I'm sure my being short isn't helping with their confusion.

As soon as I got home, I washed my face (again), and slathered on my Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque. True to form, it cleared out a significant amount of clogged pores and blackheads. Still, my face was in a state of trauma. You don't think about the wringer your skin goes through while you're laughing it up in the Happiest Place On Earth (okay, I know that's Disneyland, but same deal). We've established there's the heat and sweat and dirt...fine. There's also greasy food (which, I know, dermatologists have said that the grease you put in your stomach doesn't affect your skin...try eating pizza without getting some on your face. I dare you), drastic changes in enviroment (a/c in the car, airplane atmosphere, getting on and off rides, fog machines, wind machines, etc.), sleep deprivation, too many cokes and not enough water, little germy kids with little germy hands that touch all the same things you touch...I could go on, but you see my point? Even after the masque my skin was still screaming.

Yesterday, I happened upon Ole Henriksen's Blue/Black Berry Enzyme Mask. According to Sephora:

This potently calming blend of lavender, papaya enzyme, blueberries, and blackberries gently polishes the skin, relieving facial stress and delivering smooth results.

Well, that sounded like it might help. There was a fantastic sale, so I snapped this puppy up for only six bucks.

So, last night, after work, I put on my jammies, washed my face and pulled my hair back, opened up the jar and spread the contents all over my face. Then, I sat down to relax and watch some television.

The Good: The scent. Wow. This mask has a very strong lavender fragrance, but not a fakey, chemically one. This is real lavender, and it is extremely calming. The gel mask is downright frosty, and there are also no parabens, sulfates, or artificial colors. In fact, there's no color at all. It's clear, which also keeps you from having that whole Wicked Witch of the West thing going on.

The Bad: I had a hard time washing the mask off, and really, I couldn't tell if it did anything to my skin. I followed up with a moisturizer, partially because you should always follow a mask with a good moisturizer, and partially because my skin felt really dry. That's not a good sign when it's supposed to be a hydrating mask.

The Ugly: Normally, this is priced at $32. That's insane.

I'm going to give this another go. The directions said it could be used 2-3 times weekly, so it may just be very gentle. If nothing else, twenty minutes of inhaling lavender might relax me enough to not care about my skin anymore. I say, for six bucks, it's worth a second look. For $32, I suggest you keep your money and look elsewhere.

Final Verdict: It'll calm your nerves, but not necessarily your face. 4 out of 10.

And Now, a Rant.

Photo by WENN.com

Excuse me, folks, but I need to take a moment to scream.  On Monday, I posted a list of the best and worst Emmy dresses, and I listed Christina Hendricks (Mad Men, Firefly) as one of the worst.  Well, today, I found out a possible reason:  designers won't lend her dresses because she's too big.  I kind of want to throw things right now.

Ms. Hendricks wears a US size 10.  Folks, that's not big.  She's 5'8", for crying out loud, and was recently named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive.  I don't think she'd have that distinction if she were a size 4.  She'd look a little bit like my tween-aged brother.

Then again, if she were a size 4, she still wouldn't be able to borrow a dress.  Designers only hand out sizes 0-2.  Zero. through. two.  To put that into perspective, when I was 21, my dad passed away unexpectedly.  I stopped eating (naturally), and dropped down to 100 lbs (healthy weight:  113-141).  I was in an opera at school, and my costume had to be taken up and straps added just to hold it up, then we had to pad my bra three times to fill out the chest.  Even at this insane weight, I was still a juniors size 3.  I might have been able to squeeze into a Misses size 2, but it would have been pushing it.  By the way, I'm five inches shorter than Ms. Hendricks.  This woman would have to be emaciated to fit into a size 2, and there is nothing sexy about an eating disorder. 

Now, I know some of you are wondering, "why don't these celebrities have to buy their gowns?  I have to buy my own clothes."  That's valid.  You see, the red carpet is a chance for designers to show off their work.  It's publicity, high profile, and a lot less expensive than an full-on fashion show.  This is where we learn about the likes of Halston and Herrera.  It's where new designers are discovered, and established designers prove they're still relevant.  In turn, these celebrities know that the right dress on the carpet can do a lot to boost a career.  Almost no one had heard of Elizabeth Hurley before she wore that safety-pinned gown.  Jennifer Lopez got some serious publicity off of her plunging green dress.  Nicole Kidman was simply Mrs. Tom Cruise until she started stepping on to the red carpet in one gorgeous creation after another.  Now, she's a fashion icon.  Charlize Theron won the oscar for her portrayal of an overweight, ugly serial killer, then reminded us how gorgeous she was by picking up the award while dressed in shimmering Gucci.  I don't watch Glee, but I know who Lea Michele is because I keep seeing red carpet pictures of her in amazing dresses.  Basically, the better the look, the more you get talked about.  It's not fashion, it's strategy. 

Ms. Hendricks is not whining that she has to pay for a dress.  She's simply trying to level the playing field without sacrificing her health, and for that, I wish her the best of luck.

Now, to move onto the magic bag o' samples!  Today's pick:  Yu-Be Foaming Skin Polish.  $18, Sephora.com.  According to the site:

Yu-Be Foaming Skin Polish is an advanced purifying, exfoliating prep-step to boost the effectiveness of your skincare routine. Rice bran and walnut shell powder slough away debris and dead skin cells while glycerin and camphor soothe and moisturize. The results are silky-smooth and touchable.

According to the directions, you are supposed to pour a quarter-sized amount into your hand, add a generous amount of water, and lather up.  Then, you can apply the polish to your entire body, from your face to your feet.  So I did.  I poured the entire contents of my sample package into my hand.  It looked like marmalade and smelled like, well, nothing.  I don't mean it's unscented, I mean it smelled like air, like there was nothing in my hand. 

I added a lot of water, and lathered up a rich foam.  Then I applied the foam to my face, arms, chest, and...actually, that's as far as it went.  I guess you need a half-dollar sized amount if you want to get past your tummy.  The exfoliants are humongous and very rough, and by the time I finished scrubbing down, my skin was, literally, squeaky clean.  I don't mean that in a good way.  The polish had dried my skin out to the point that it was tight and painful.  It had stripped my skin, and I practically ran out of the shower to slather on moisturizer.  Not only do I not recommend this product, I urge you to run as far away from it as possible.

Sampler Platter: Brazilian Peel

Photo by Sephora

In case you're just joining us, I've been on a mission to actually use and review all of the samples in my ever-growing stash. For too long I've been collecting samples and saving them for that proverbial rainy day. Well, folks, the temperature's rising and the barometer's getting low. Let's do this.

Normally, I would just reach into the magic bag o' samples and pull something at random. Normally. Today's not normal. Well, really, in my house normal is relative, but that's another story. Anyway, today, Thomas and I put down a deposit on a brand new townhouse. For months, we have been trying to find something with more space and better management, and after a long and, quite frankly, painful search, we have finally found the perfect place. Thank God. To celebrate, I thought I'd take a little time to pamper myself this evening. I gave myself a mani-pedi, then grabbed my sample of Brazilian Peel, Professional Strength Glycolic Acai Anti-Oxidant Facial Treatment. Stress had left my skin looking a little dull, and I had a couple of tiny breakouts, which is unusual. I figured this might do the trick.

According to Sephora:

The Brazilian Peel™ instantly firms, noticeably smoothes, and brightens skin with just one use. Fine lines and wrinkles are visibly reduced after four weekly applications and a radiant, youthful complexion is maintained with continued weekly use. The Brazilian Peel™ will not cause redness or irritation.

Now, normally, when I hear the word "Brazilian", my mind jumps to hot wax, a very delicate area, and a searing pain that hurts considerably more than being hit by a car. Not exactly the most comforting thought before smearing a chemical all over my face, but hey, I'm game. The peel comes in a double-chambered syringe, which makes it look medicinal, but also a little scary. (Thomas: "What is that?!") Once I figured out how to open the container (I never claimed to be coordinated), and located the lid's landing point behind the toilet, I followed the directions and squeezed the contents into my hand. Using two fingers, I mixed the gel from one chamber with the cream from the other chamber. The mixture heats up almost immediately--and I mean, heats up--but, thankfully, cools down just as quickly. Starting at the forehead and working down, I applied the clear mixture to my face and neck. I waited ten minutes, then rinsed with cool water and patted my skin dry. The pleasant-smelling gel tightened as it dried, and came off easily. Then, I followed the treatment with my usual drugstore moisturizer. My skin feels markedly smoother, with just the slightest hint of discomfort. Really, it feels like I steamed my face over a pot of water on the stove.

So, is it worth it? The Brazilian Peel retails for $78 at Sephora. That's for four applications. Four. I ended with three applications as free samples, so I guess I won the beauty supply lottery. At almost $20 a pop, I'm using these very sparingly. I can't bring myself to use it weekly.

I can't not recommend this, since it is a good peel. If you have scars you're trying to lighten, this might be your best bet, though I would suggest seeing a dermatologist first. However, if you're like me, with generally clear skin and just a little dullness, I'd suggest a less expensive alternative. My go-to face mask is one I've been using for years: Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask, $3.99, Drugstore.com. I started using it on a musical theatre tour where I was wearing heavy stage makeup daily. It kept my pores clear, my skin smooth, and my wallet happy. Also, it makes you green, which is always a fun way to scare your husband, roommate, twerpy kid brother, etc.

I think that's the one I'm going to stick with, even if it does make Thomas ask me if I'm a member of the Na'vi tribe, or feel the need to put on an episode of The X-Files, just to mock me. In my opinion, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.