Deck the Nails: Good Idea, Bad Idea

During my search for the perfect festive red glitter polish (which is still on-going, I might add), I ran across this little monster in an Ulta 5 for $5 bin. Don't even bother looking for it online--my guess is that even they're ashamed of it. I can't even find where anyone's ever swatched or blogged about it before. It's like it doesn't really exist. Wow. I also can't tell you the real name of it, because the label I have says "Wicked", and Ulta has a different polish labeled "Wicked" on the site. Seriously, I'm flummoxed. All I can say is if you see a bottle of Ulta nail polish that has giant chunks of red glitter in a black base, RUN AWAY.

*UPDATE! It's called "Fashionably Late". I have other names for it...*

Make it stop. Please.

I hate, loathe, and despise this polish. It's not even pretty on. What you see, in the photo above, is three coats. I managed to capture this on camera just before the glitter began peeling off. That's right, peeling off. It got caught on everything imaginable, and within an hour, I already had noticeable chipping. Granted, I didn't use a top coat, but the polish was already so goopy, the base polish so streaky, and the glitter so haphazard (and not in a cute way), that I didn't see any point in prolonging the misery. I wore this from Thursday until Sunday, and was never so happy to remove a polish. By the time I began to attempt to take it off (oh, yeah, it was an ordeal...more on that later), Thomas asked me if it was a crackle polish. No.

To remove this, I started with my usual glitter removal method: cotton pads soaked in non-acetone remover and applied to the nails. Usually, after a couple of minutes of this, the polish whisks off of the nail, and only a small amount of scrubbing is required for thelingering sparkles. Not this time. Oh, no. This time, I soaked the nails...then scrubbed...then soaked some more...then scrubbed some more...then eventually used my finger nail to scrape...then scrubbed some more...for about an hour. No kidding. I finally got all of the polish and glitter off, but I started to think I was going to be stuck with silver glitter on my nails forever. Oh--the polish remover took the red off of the glitter, but the silver undercoat was still there, and it was still stuck to my nails.

This is going in the trash. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Not only that, it might be my pick for worst polish of the year. I just need to figure out what it's called. I'm going with, "The-polish-that-shall-not-be-named".

On the opposite end of the spectrum, here's my pick for mani of the season: the Louboutin Manicure. The concept is very simple. You simply paint your nails with a shiny black varnish (I added sparkles on an accent nail. Adele did hers in silver for the Grammy's. You can be creative), then color the underside of each nail red, like the signature Louboutin sole.

Front

Back

As simple as the concept is, the execution is much more difficult and detailed. This definitely not a "slap on as you run out the door" nail look. To start with, you'll need to make sure that your nails have grown out long enough for the underside to be visible. You also will need to make sure that the undersides are completely clean and free of nail "dust" from filing. Paint your base coat, and add any embellishment you're going to, then let dry completely. For the undersides, choose a red that is opaque and bright. The one I used was a little too sheer, so some of the black polish from the front is still showing through (it's Ulta Red Carpet Red, in case you were wondering. Love the shade, but it's just too sheer for this. The black is the nail duo by The New Black). If you're feeling fancy, you can paint the very edge of your nail red, too. Finish with a top coat (just on the front of the nail and edge).

Now, get ready to do some clean-up, because painting the underside of your nail red without looking like you've done yourself a major injury is downright impossible. If you're in a hurry, a q-tip with polish remover should work well. If not, paint them in the evening, once you're in for the night, and just wait it out. By the time I'd finished my shower the next morning, the majority of the mistakes had rubbed off, and the errors on my finger tips peeled off easily.

It's not the most out-there of nail designs, but it's a lot of fun, and a cute little discovery for anyone observant enough to spot. It's also completely appropriate for anything from office cocktail parties to ugly sweater contests. Have fun!

Filmmaker Fashion: The Q&A

Last night, Thomas, our friend Soren, and I were guest speakers at the local university's Communication Day. The school screened The Night Shift, and we gave a short Q&A afterwards. It was a lot of fun, and a real joy to be a part of.

Of course, it was also a chance for all of us to get to play fancy-schmancy filmmaker and dress up! This is not the exact outfit I wore last night, but it's as close as I could get on my new Polyvore account (follow me! Link's below), since everything came directly out of my closet, and a few things were a few years old. Anyway, let's play with this for a bit. Oh--and if you want to buy any of this stuff, Polyvore was nice enough to link to what's still available for me. (I think I'm going to like this thing.)

Okay, first up, the henley tank isn't the one I wore last night. That would be this one, that I blogged about a million years ago. Mine isn't available in stores anymore, but this one is really, really close.

The earrings are the Rachel Earrings from JewelMint. Mine are actually the Rachel Rose Earrings, which have a very muted pink stone and a silver finish. You might be able to score some on Ebay, but that's about the only way. Sorry.

I finally got my Naked 2 palette!! No, I don't have a Naked "1", but that's okay. I'm absolutely in love with this palette, so expect a full review sometime in the very near future. I used Chopper, Snakebite, and Bootycall last night, with the Naked Lip Junkie, in case you were wondering. And no, I don't have any pictures. Someone at the school took one, but I don't have a copy. And I'm sad. Really, really sad.

I do actually own this necklace. You might remember a post about it from forever ago, where I talked about how it made me think of my dear little Herbie. I fell pretty darn hard for this piece before Halloween, and watched it on Open Sky for ages. It finally went on sale cheap enough that I could justify the purchase, and I don't think I've taken it off, yet.

Sadly, this bracelet is another that you'll have to search for on Ebay. It's the Black Swan Cuff from JewelMint, and one of my all-time favorite pieces from them. Seriously, try to find this one. It's worth the trouble. Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

If you want a good pair of jeans, go to DressBarn. I know, I know, I didn't expect that, either. Look for the ANGELS line. They're affordable ($39.99), cute as pie, have a good amount of stretch, suck in my stomach and make my butt look good. These are my Cinderella jeans.

Lastly, these are not my shoes. I did wear some pewter Guess strappy platforms, but they came from Ross, and I've had them for a while. These are extremely similar, even if they are more than twice what I paid for mine.

I know this is a little different from the norm, but I hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know in the comments. Seriously, though, if you did like this, follow me on Polyvore, and I'll try to do more with it in the future.

Screening and Q&A Inspired by adorablenapalm featuring printed tank tops

Daytrip printed tank top
$25 - buckle.com

Women's & Misses Clothing And Apparel At Dressbarn
dressbarn.com

GUESS t strap high heels
$66 - heels.com

Urban Decay shimmer eyeshadow
$50 - sephora.com

Soixante Neuf BABY SILVER SKULL NECKLACE in 14K GF
$113 - stefanibags.com

Gift Guide: The Stylist

As I type, I'm wearing shredded jeans, an old gray t-shirt, almost zero makeup, and holey ancient Skechers, Batman. Oh--and my hair is a total mess that wouldn't even stay in a clip.

I know you want me...*sigh*

I'm probably the last person on the planet who should be writing about beauty and fashion, right now. Normally, I'm slightly more together than this (key word: slightly), but this morning I had to go help some sound technicians set levels at the Church because we nearly killed the parishoners with feedback at 8 am Mass last Sunday, and...well, that's another story, nevermind. The point is, whether or not I practice what I preach, I do know a thing or two about what works and what doesn't, and you know what doesn't work? Disorganization. When your closet is so cluttered that you don't even know what you have, how can you put together a top-notch outfit?

Says the girl whose shoe rack, literally, imploded yesterday. *sigh*

If you have a friend, relative, significant other--whatever--who's a bit of a fashionista, I've got a couple of gift ideas that will keep their designer duds in tip top form.

1) This Whitmor Chrome Supreme shoe rack holds up to fifty pairs of shoes or shoeboxes, and can roll wherever they need it to go. This is *not* the shoe rack that currently litters the floor of my closet, by the way. $69.95, Amazon.

2) I actually own this makeup case, and can attest to its awesomeness. Durable, roomy, with adjustable dividers for customized organization. This is also about as large a case as you can get without wheels. I'm planning to order a second one after Christmas for Fighting Owl Films growing makeup supply. This can easily accomodate all of our greasepaints, effects makeup, hair supplies, and a squeeze bottle of blood. 'Cause, we all need that. Right? $49.38, Overstock.

3) Now, here's a jewelry organizer that I haven't tried, but the design is ingenious. This is a thin mesh panel that can be hung up pretty much anywhere. Earrings can either hang on the front, or be stored in rolls at the bottom. Rings also stash in the roll, and necklaces and bracelets dangle from hooks. No counter or dresser space required! $19.99, Bed Bath and Beyond.

P.S. There were pictures. They were really nice. Blogger ate them.

And the Winner Is....

Magnolia!!

Granted, she was the only one who entered...but that doesn't make her entry any less cool! Actually, even if we'd had dozens of entries, this one still would have caught my attention, and possibly even won! It's really quite impressive.

So, without further ado, I give you: Magnolia's CHALLENGE! Winning Entry!

First, a reminder of the amazing six-dollar dress:

Photo Credit: Old Navy

The challenge was to accessorize the dress so that it would be suitable for a casual cocktail party. You see, my birthday is coming up (faster than I'd like), and while I'm not having a throwdown party, I am having dinner with a few close friends. This is the dress I'm planning to wear, and folks, I was stumped. I now have a clue what to do, and I'd like to thank Magnolia for all of her help. Now, onto the winning design!

Photo Credit: The Limited

I love this necklace. The strands are so delicate, but the stones make a strong statement. This is a confident, rockin' piece, but also one that's casual enough for a poolside BBQ. $32.90, The Limited.

Photo Credit: The Limited

What would the necklace be without matching earrings? These provide just enough laid-back sparkle to compliment a loose Summer up-do. $19.90, The Limited.

Photo Credit: J. Crew

These shoes come in black and rose, as well, but I love how the metallic mushroom plays off of the natural colored stones in the jewelry. It's also close enough to skin tone to elongate legs. Plus, nothing says Summer like a flip-flop, and these are just dressy enough. $26.50, J. Crew.

Congratulations, Magnolia!! Now, I just need to go shopping...Happy Birthday to me!

Tossing Sequins In Our Eyes: Burlesque Movie Review

Wow.

I almost made it through Burlesque last night. Almost. A little over an hour in, I caved. Now, I'm a musical kind of girl. My DVD shelves are littered with Camelot, How To Succeed in Business, Phantom of the Opera, Oklahoma (two versions--one with Hugh Jackman!), Rent, Chicago, Thoroughly Modern Millie, tons of Sondheim shows, and I want to say three copies of The Sound of Music. That's barely putting a dent in the collection. Some are good, some are bad, and some are so bad they're good. This one was just so bad it was hilarious, and I made it through Nine, for crying out loud!

I wasn't planning to do a full-on movie review, but why not? I've gotten this far. Let's see...the plot was cliche and totally predictable. A small town innocent packs up her dreams and moves to L.A. with nothing but a handfull of dollar bills and a photo of her dead mother (who will be shoved down our throats anytime there's a need for us to feel any sort of emotion toward said small town innocent). Ali (short for Alice) is somehow cosmically drawn to the seedy, but exceptionally well-choreographed Wonderland (yes, they went there) of the Burlesque Lounge, where she forces her way into a waitressing job, then ultimately onto the stage, where she is realized for the talent she is, and becomes the star of the show. Yay for Ali. Meanwhile, there's a boozy, witchy diva to outshine, and a love triangle between Ali, her best guy friend, and the handsome villain. Oh, lest I forget, they've also got to raise enough money to keep the Burlesque Lounge out of foreclosure. I couldn't tell you if they beat the bank, since I never made it that far, but I'd bet money those plucky dancers saved the day, and probably at the very last second.

It's a train wreck, but Lordy, it's a fun train wreck. The choreography is fantastic, the numbers are hysterical (in a good way) and down-right hot. I don't personally care for Christina Aguilera's style of singing, but you can't argue that the girl's got pipes. Cher sounds amazing, and her heartfelt solo, "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me", would be absolutely wrenching in any other less ridiculous context. I also admired the placement of the musical numbers. So many movie musicals have people inexplicably bursting into song. Here, all numbers were confined to the stage, and had dramatic purpose. If only this could have been an all-star Burlesque show! How awesome would that have been?!

Since they did make it a movie, with actors and dialogue and all that jazz, at least they got Stanley Tucci. I swear, that man makes everything better. Poor Peter Gallagher and Alan Cumming were completely underused. I kept hoping and praying they'd let Alan Cumming do something onstage; then they did, and I remembered to be careful what I wish for. Eric Dane makes for a charmingly sleezy bad guy, and Cam Gigandet, as love-interest, Jack, is ruggedly vulnerable, and looks very nice without a shirt. Christina Aguilera is not an actress, but you could tell she really put some effort into her acting, and I have to give her credit for that. Honestly, the writing didn't do anyone any favors. Not to post spoilers, but when all the "good guys" in the movie have sufficiently creeped you out, it's time to turn off the DVD and see what's streaming on Netflix.

This is a movie to laugh at, not with. I don't say that to be mean, either. This is the kind of movie that I can see people giving the Rocky Horror treatment. There are dozens of fabulous, glittery ensembles for cosplay, catchy songs for sing-alongs, and laughably fun lines to yell back at the screen. Case in point, my favorite of the movie: "If you fall off the stage, legs extended, boobs up!" Really, I think that pretty much sums up the whole film. It may be short on substance and long on style, but it plays that style to the gaudy, glamorous, rhinestone encrusted hilt.

Final Verdict: 2 out of 10. Make it a group night, pile on some glitter, and fast forward to the numbers.

Now, for the real reason for this post. Ali wears some excruciating gorgeous Louboutin's in the film:

Photo Credit: Third Avenue Princess

They don't exist in the real world (custom made for the movie, sad to say), but I found two great sites for seriously discounted real Louboutin's. Click here or here to get a pair for as little as $107 (still too rich for my blood, but definitely affordable by comparison). Here's the pair I'm dying for:

Photo Credit: The Best Christian Louboutin Outlet

Do I Send Flowers or Mushrooms?

I am officially going to Hell. I actually considered snapping a picture with my phone, but that would have been crass. Instead, I'm blogging about it, for all the Internet to see. 'Cause that's so much classier.

I had to run by the mall this morning, and there in the parking lot, in all its shoe-polished glory, was a sedan proclaiming, "RIP MARIO". Now, I know that this is a memorial for someone's lost loved one, but I couldn't help it. I laughed. A lot. All I could think of was an itty bitty Super Mario brother falling off the television screen. Then I texted Thomas, who also laughed. A lot. We are horrible, horrible people.

So, as an atonement, I have cute Mario things to show you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pick out the trimmings for my handbasket.

Photo Credit: Destructoid

This July, Converse and Nintendo are teaming up to bring you some celebratory Chucks. In honor of Super Mario Bros. 25th anniversary, Converse Chuck Taylor shoes are getting a makeover, complete with itty bitty Marios, the game logo on the tongue, and an invincibility star in place of the Converse All-Star marking. Also available in black. No word on price at time of publication.

Okay, if that's not cute enough for you, how's this: A Super Mario proposal?! Watch for the fireworks. Squee!

Break Out the Pumice Stones!

'Tis the season for pedicures!! Down here around the Equator, it's already hot and sticky (at least it's a wet heat, right?) that my feet sweat in flip-flops. For the next five months, or so, you're going to have a hard time catching me in shoes, period, much less anything that might require socks or hose.

With that in mind, let us turn our attention to that glorious innovation in footwear design: the sandal. Ah, the sandal! Dressier than shower shoes, but with about as much coverage. You allow me to stay cool in the evil Spring and Summer temperatures, and still keep my job. Bless your little soles.

Now, my office dress code is waaaaaaaaay less restrictive than most, so I don't dare presume to tell you what kind of sandal, if any, might be appropriate for where you work. I do, however, have a few favorites for other occasions: the Summer wedding, a night on the town, and bumming around at the mall. Let's start with the latter and go from there. All styles are available at Charlotte Russe.

WEEKEND WEAR

Photo Credit (this and all pictures): Charlotte Russe

I love the metallic look of this sandal. There's something TRON-like about the pewter and copper strands looping around each other (or maybe that's just me). This is sleek, sophisticated, and effortlessly cool. $12.50.

Orange is a super hot color right now. It's everywhere from lips to nails, and this tangerine-hued wedge is a showstopping representation of the trend. The braided detail is a particularly nice touch. $25.50.

For the Boho girl (like me, most of the time), we have this embellished t-strap. Picture it with khaki cargo capris or thigh-grazing denim shorts. $24.50.

GOING OUT

This ultra-sexy faux suede cage heel in bright red could really stop traffic! Try it with a LBSD (little black sundress). $32.50.

I'm a little bit in love with this leopard print wedge. The ankle strap gives it a retro flair, while the solid heel keeps me from falling down. That's always a major plus. This is for the pin-up girl in all of us. $32.50.

"All she wants to do is DANCE, DANCE!" She can in this comfy flat embellished sandal. The rhinestone encrusted straps add extra sparkle to an already glimmering gold finish. $24.50.

SPECIAL OCCASION

How much fun is this hot pink ruffled wedge?! The faux leather upper and basket-weave detailing dress this sandle up, and make the perfect match for a taffeta mini-dress. $30.00.

This shoe is just hot. That's all there is to it. The sleek, faux leather curves; the platform; the sky high heel...this is just one smokin' sandal. $35.50.

In sharp contrast to the above offering, is this sweet, ruffled wedge. The peep-toe keeps this from being too precious. $25.50.

It's Like a Heatwave, Burning In My...Oh, Everything...

So, it's a million and twelve degrees down here in the Deep South, with about 5000% humidity. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating...slightly. All I know is that it's hot. I mean, ice-water-chugging, egg-frying-on-the-sidewalk, Fall-can't-get-here-fast-enough miserable. My apartment can't seem to get any cooler than 80 degrees, and that's with the AC cranked up, ceiling fans, and one of those Hawaiian Breeze ocillating fans. The birds love it. Of course, they're tropical and I am not.

I know it's not just here, too. The whole country seems to be in a continuous heatwave this Summer, and for that, I'm sorry. I went through three or four cans of hairspray on The Night Shift, so I take full blame for any extra holes in the ozone. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

As atonement, I have compiled a survival guide to help you cope with these Dog Days of Summer. To keep things simple (and inexpensive), all products can be found at Target.

Personally, I'd like to forget about clothing altogether, at this point, but I think the people I work with would appreciate if I stayed as covered up as humanly possible. This little white dress is a fair alternative to going full-out Lady Godiva.

I like that it's 100% cotton, so it breathes, and the design is airy, but covered up and dressy enough that you could wear it to work in a casual office setting. A word of caution, though: reviewers have mentioned that it is a bit on the sheer side (so be careful of your undergarments, ladies), and that you might want to skip putting it in the dryer. They've also mentioned quality construction, comparable to Forever 21. Mossimo, $15.38, Target.com.

There have been days when it was too hot to even wear flip-flops, but shoes are pretty much a necessity in civilized society. Might I suggest a pair like these? First off, they're dressy/casual, so they're versatile. Secondly, the cork is absorbant, which...well, let's face it: feet sweat. I'd rather not slosh around in my shoes, thank you very much. Cork is also very soft and tends to mold to your foot for comfort. Mossimo, $12.99, Target.com.

I'm actually carrying this purse right now. I've had it for about three months, and love it. It's roomy enough to carry what you need, but small enough that you can't fill it with the entire contents of Mary Poppins Carpet Bag. The cotton construction allows the purse (and what's inside it) to breathe, keeping your stuff from getting too hot. It's also washable, durable, and cute as pie. Available in several colors and patterns. Merona, $7.00 (really!!), Target.com.

Please remember sunscreen!! Around here, burn times run about ten minutes. Really, I don't care what brand you use--if it's sports, kids, spray, lotion, or purple--just use something! Sunburns suck, but skin cancer is so much worse. Neutrogena, $9.94, Target.com.

I don't know about you, but lotion melts off my legs, these days. I still need something to keep them moisturized (sweat doesn't count), and this light body mist is just the thing. Put out by Soap & Glory, Girligo is a non-greasy spray moisturizer that leaves your skin silky smooth and freshly scented. I'm also in love with the retro packaging. Soap & Glory, $11.99, Target.com.

Last, but not least, let's put on a little color without worrying about it melting in the car. CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain is, well, just what it says it is. It's a long-wearing lipstain. What's cool about it is that it comes in a marker form--sort of like a Sharpie for your face. Also, unlike many lipstains, it's moisturizing, so you don't end up with flaky lips, or need to carry around a separate lip balm or gloss to put over it. CoverGirl, $7.89, Target.com.

There. We can all "glow" instead of "puddle". Now, maybe Al Gore will get off my back. Again, sorry.

*Photos by Target

CON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not upset that I'm not at Comic-Con. Nope. Not at all. I am not scouring the Internet to find out all the exclusives I'm missing out on, all the celebrities I won't get to meet (BRUCE!!!!), and which movies are going to be heavily promoted. Nope. Not at all.

I am a big fat liar. I am DYING to go to Comic-Con!!!! Thomas and I went last year, and it was one of the coolest experiences I've ever had. Neither of us had ever gone before, so we had no Earthly idea what we were in for. Oh. Good. Lord.

Somehow, through a total fluke (okay, through me bouncing up and down like an idiot, waving my arms for attention, wearing a practically day-glo t-shirt, and, honestly, being a girl--and one who happens to know too much trivia on Galaxy Quest), we ended up getting into the Wrath of Con party at the Hard Rock Hotel. That is, apparently, THE party to get into. Joss Whedon got turned away. That's right. We got in, but Joss didn't. Daughtry was the entertainment. I had a drink at the same bar as Robert Englund. Thomas waited in line behind Brandon Routh to play X-box. The TNA Wrestling Ring was set up in the middle of the party. Zack Snyder accepted an award. Harry Knowles rode around mingling. Stan Lee made a walk-through appearance. Kevin Freaking Sorbo was there. The cake was good. We were horribly underdressed. I'm still mad that I didn't get my gift bag. It was a magical, magical evening. Personally, I would have loved it if Mr. Whedon had been let in.

Throughout the weekend, we saw panels for Burn Notice (with Bruce!!!), Family Guy, Doctor Who (and I still have a massive crush on David Tennant--sorry, Thomas), and about a million other things. I got to meet John Barrowman and totally embarrass myself. We saw Leonard Nimoy from a distance. Lou Ferigno was in a booth selling t-shirts.

Outside the convention center, we had lunch in the SyFy cafe, went to a Heroes carnival, and tooled around gorgeous San Diego. I can't wait until next year when we can actually go back. We would have gone this year, but scheduling conflicts didn't allow for it, hence the mini-break to Atlanta.



Photo by Converse



However, if I could go, I've learned from last year, and there are a few things I would have to have in my convention-going arsenal:

1) Really comfortable shoes. With insoles. And a team of hunky men to carry me around like Cleopatra. And a pony. Seriously, though, the convention floor is massive, and you will cross it several times a day. Plus, the transit system decided it didn't like running when it was supposed to, so we got to walk the two miles from our hotel to the center and back a few times. These are my pick. They're Converse, so they're good, and the Dr. Seuss design screams Comic-Con. Converse.com, $55.



Photo by Target



2) A big, roomy bag. I've had a Mossimo bag for years, and it's still in fantastic shape. My only problem with it is that it's black, and tends to get mixed up with other people's bags rather easily. The gray color and fuscia stripe on this one makes it a little more distinctive. Oh--and it mostly matches the cute Converse shoes! Target.com, $19.99



Photo by The Body Shop

3)Foot Relief. Because no matter how fabulous your shoes, your feet are going to hurt like the Dickens by day's end. By week's end, you'll be grateful the airports have those little conveyor belt walkways to ride on. While sitting down. And possibly sleeping. This Peppermint Purifying Foot Mask is some of the best stuff I've ever used. It relaxes, soothes, detoxes, and even clears your sinuses. No kidding. The Body Shop, $17

Okay, 2011, you'd better be worth the wait.