The Most Spoiler Free Face/Off Finale Post EVER!

(ed. note: The Management apologizes for the lack of creativity in the post title. She's had a long day, and it's only 1:40pm. Thank you.)

Last night was the Face/Off finale, and I'm sure all of you were just as interested as I was to find out...what little body-conscious one-shoulder dress would McKenzie Westmore be wearing!

'Cause you knew she would.

And my favorite contestant got ousted last week, so I no longer cared.

So, in honor of Ms. Westmore, I have found a budget-friendly, body-conscious, almost one-shoulder dress in her signature lavender. I'm just going to leave it here:

Photo Credit: Forever 21

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go nosh on some rice cakes and try to calculate the exact number of Spanx I would need to wear to pull off that look. Have a great Wednesday!

Rouge My Knees And Roll My Stockings Down

Photo by Corbis Images

Fun fact for the day:  September 7, 1921 was the date of the very first Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City, New Jersey.  Actually, back then it was called the Atlantic City Pageant, and was created as a way to keep tourists in town after Labor Day.  Today, the pageant prides itself on being a scholarship opportunity for the talented and intelligent young women who win the crown, but back in the day, the "beauty contest" simply featured bathing beauties competing for a 3-foot tall Mermaid trophy.  The word "quaint" comes to mind.  The picture to the left is of the very first Miss America (though, she wasn't actually given that title till 1922), Margaret Gorman, in all her flappery glory.  Check out the knees--how scandalous!   

Really, though, Miss America is a great program.  I only competed locally, but they helped pay for a good chunk of my college education, and I have fond memories of playing dress-up and hanging out with the other contestants.

So, in honor of the program's birthday, I thought I'd cull together some flapper finds for my lovely readers.

Photos by Unique Vintage

These gorgeous gowns come from Unique Vintage.  These are not Halloween costumes, folks. The green dress is a reproduction and features a bias cut and glass beading.  The champagne satin dress features a drop waist and beaded fringe.  There are dozens more on the site, plus accessories, and they're all absolutely amazing.  Pricing varies by dress.

Photo by Sephora

No flapper outfit would be complete without killer-diller makeup, and I found a tutorial that makes applying so easy I can do it.  It's available at eHow, and chances are, you already have everything you need. 

If you're looking for a more modern version, though, Buxom has a set that will give you a retro look without veering into costume.  Buxom Betty includes foundation, shadow, liner, mascara, lip color, and the tools to apply them all.  Hurry, though, it's on sale at Sephora, so when it's gone, it's gone.  $30 (regular $42), Sephora.com.

Alrighty, time for the magic bag o' samples.  Today's pick:  Bare Escentuals 100% Natural Lip Gloss.  $15, Sephora.com.  According to Sephora:

Bare Escentuals 100% Natural Lip Gloss is an all-natural, preservative-free formula that contains a healthy infusion of 100% pure bareMinerals that provide sparkling color. Natural oils and Cupuacu Butter deliver lasting hydration, protective antioxidants, and superior shine—sans the stickiness—and the trailing scent of natural vanilla will tempt your palate.

This stuff feels really good.  I was a little disappointed in color pay-off, though.  The shade I tried, Wild Honey, is a peachy pink, but blended in with my natural lip color so well that I couldn't tell I was wearing anything.  It's also not a "glossy" gloss, so I really think I could have gotten the same effect with some Burt's Bees for a fraction of the cost.  I do have another color to try tomorrow, and it's a bit darker.  I'm refraining from giving my verdict until then.  If any of you have tried this and have an opinion you'd like to share, or have another lipgloss you swear by, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

Magic (Red) Carpet Ride

I did not watch the Emmy Awards last night.  Nope.  I watched the commentary to Dark and Stormy Night, a side-splittingly hilarious send-up of all those 1930s dark house movies (my personal favorite, And Then There Were None).  The film was made by Larry Blamire and his usual Bantam Street suspects, the same low-budget indie group who put together The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and The Lost Skeleton Returns Again.  I like to think of them as Fighting Owl Films, five or ten years from now, with a slightly larger budget and a few more resources.  If you have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about right now, do yourself a favor and find a copy of any of the above mentioned films.  You won't regret it.  Oh! While you're at it, check out Fighting Owl Films website to see a group of talented indie filmmakers just getting started.  Alright, end of plug.

So, I skipped out on the Emmys.  That doesn't mean I missed all the fashion action.  No, sir.  The morning news networks and the Interwebs made darn sure of that.  As I have been inundated with Award Show couture, I thought, "Well, when in Rome..." and made up my list of the best, worst and what the heck moments from the Red Carpet.

The Good

Claire Danes in Armani.  This is, hands down, my favorite for the night.  The whole look is sweet, sexy, and just plain gorgeous. 

Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta.  The ruffles, hair and makeup are young and fun, but the gown's color and overall silhouette, paired with some killer statement jewelry, keep the look sophisticated.   

Nina Dobrev in Zuhair Murad.  This seems to be the critics favorite this year, and it's tough to argue with them.  The look is flawless. 

The Bad

Keri Russell in vintage Jean-Louis Scherrer.  Overall, I have no problem with the dress, makeup or hair.  The entire look is very well pulled-together and lovely.  It's just not formal enough for a black-tie event, in my opinion.  Maybe an evening at the theatre, a wedding, or cocktail party, but not the Emmys.

Lo Bosworth in Karen Caldwell.  This is another girl who didn't get the memo about the Emmys being a formal event.  This is a precious dress, but it's not formal.  Throw a sweater over it, and you could wear it to the office.  My major problem with this look, though, is the hair.  It looks like she fixed it, but then decided to take out a bobby pin, or something, undoing a large chunk, which she just ignored.  I don't want to be mean, but if I started to go out with my hair like that, I would hope that someone would point it out to me so I could fix it.   

Lauren Graham in Yigal Azrouel.  This hurts my heart.  I love Lauren Graham, and to see her in something so odd and unflattering is almost unbearable.  I actually thought this was a pantsuit at first glance, which might have been cool, but then realized it's just that straight of a skirt.  Also, what is up with the colorblocking and the wing-like back?  On top of it, her hair is messy, and while that is the style right now, it doesn't work with this dress.  It looks like she needs some hairspray and a brush.  Her face, though, as usual, is gorgeous.  Oh, that was painful to write.  I shall go home and watch a season of Gilmore Girls as penance.

The Ugly

Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen.  It looks like she's ready for battle.  Between the weird breastplate thingy, the poor fit, and proportions being all off, it's not my favorite.  She's a beautiful girl, and I think this could be a really cool dress, but they don't work together, and that's just unfortunate.  I will say that she worked the attitude, so she must have felt good in it, and I guess that's what's most important.

Christina Hendricks in Zac Posen.  I cannot stress how much I adore Christina Hendricks.  She's stunningly beautiful, funny, strong, and I would freaking kill for curves like that.  That said, I hate this dress.  I mean, hate this dress.  I think it's the feathers.  Instead of giving off the old-school Hollywood glamour vibe they were probably going for, it comes off as a negligee.  She looks amazing in it (of course, she'd look amazing in a paper sack), but it looks like a nightgown.

January Jones in Versace.  The dress is odd.  I have no idea what that material is supposed to be.  January Jones is otherworldly gorgeous, but that doesn't mean the dress needs to look like it came off an alien spacecraft.  On top of it, someone needed to hand her a brush before she got out of the car.  And yet, she still looks beautiful.  Just goes to show, it's not the dress, it's the girl.

Bonus:  The Awesome

Betty White in something she pulled out of her closet.  When you're that awesome, you don't need a stylist.  Congrats, Betty, on your Emmy win, and on your remarkable career and fabulous comeback!  We love you!

Extra Special Bonus:  What Do You Think? 

Rutina Wesley in Douglass Annette.  Critics have been torn on this one, and I wanted to get your opinions.  I'll agree that this was a risk, but did she pull it off?  I can't decide on this one.  Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Now, for today's dip into the magic bag o' samples:  Urban Decay Primer Potion in Eden!  According to Sephora:

Eyeshadow Primer Potions from Urban Decay are unmatched in the beauty industry! The genie in these bottles fulfills three wishes: eyeshadow that lasts, more vibrant and lasting color, and absolutely NO creasing. Apply Primer Potion to lids before shadow application and it dries down almost instantly, creating smooth lids that are super-powered eyeshadow magnets. Urban Decay offers several unique shades in their Eyeshadow Primer Potions, but all boast the same unbelievable function. Eden is a matte-finish, tawny hue and gives you a stunning "no makeup" look when worn alone or complements other eyeshadows worn in combination. Packaged in a pretty genie bottle, all these Potions are applied with a magic wand and flocked applicator.

Well, let's give it a try, shall we?  I didn't have a genie-shaped bottle or a flocked magic wand applicator, since my sample came on a card, so I pulled out the old concealer brush to apply the primer.  Its texture is similar to frosting, but it went on very smoothly, and was a very pretty nude shade.  If you like matte, nude eyeshadow, you don't have to put anything on over this.  It works fine on its own.  I, however, needed to test how it worked as a primer, not as an eyeshadow, so I still had some work to do. 

To really test it, I pulled out a very soft, very blendable (very easy to rub off) eyeshadow trio.  Let's see how well you hold onto three eyeshadows, Mr. Bon--I mean, Urban Decay!  (*hesitant, embarrassed evil laughter*) 

The eyeshadows went on easily, and blended with no problem.  Four hours and a lot of humidity later, they still look like they did when I put them on.  Well done, Urban Decay.  Well done.  It's a good primer, so I may have to check out their Sin color next time I'm in Sephora.  It's a shimmering champagne, and one that I might just wear on its own.  $18, Sephora.com.

*Photos by Harpar's Bazaar

Bicycles and Butterflies

I'm all for living green.  I try to conserve gas and water, reuse containers, and avoid styrofoam whenever possible.  I even got some of those little grocery bags for shopping, and one day, by gum, I'm going to remember to take them with me.  Green is a lifestyle change, and one that I'm trying to adopt, albeit slowly and clumsily.  Some people, however, have taken to it like ducks to water, and can make anything eco-friendly, it seems.  I'm in awe of these people.

Photo by Ecouterre

For example:  a fashion designer and a landscape architect (two great tastes that go great together?) were asked to create an eco-friendly cross-over work of art for the Amsterdam Center for Architecture.  What they came up with was a "living" dress created from wool and bicycle innertubes (read:  not a Summer dress).  The innertubes create a smocked effect which is, in actuality, a series of vases that can be filled with whatever type flower or plant you desire.  Change the flowers, and you change the entire look of the gown.  This is obviously not something the average fashionista is going to hang in her closet, but as a work of art, it's an astonishingly beautiful reminder that anything can be reused.  These bicycle innertubes could have gone into a landfill, but instead are helping to sustain life and bring beauty into the world.  Really makes you think.

Photo by Ecouterre

This next dress, were it not in the Science Museum in London, could make a coccoon in my closet any old day.  At first glance, this sweet little cobalt blue day dress looks like any ordinary dress...except, it's not cobalt blue.  It's not any shade of blue.  In fact, it's not any shade of anything.  This dress is completely colorless, and the fact that it looks blue is merely a trick of the light.  The fabric used to make the dress is called Morphotex, and was created to mimic the microscopic structure of the Morpho butterfly's wing.  Sixty different polyester and nylon fibers in alternating layers produce the color through light reflection.  It's nanotechnology at it's prettiest.

Now, in case you're new to Adorable Napalm, I'm in the middle of a self-inflicted mission to get through my ridiculous stash of samples.  Everyday, I try something new and review it here.  It's generally a one-shot trial, so all opinions are based on first reactions.  Today, I reached into the magic bag o' samples and pulled out Michael Kors Very Hollywood Eau de Parfum. 

It's what I would call understated elegance.  The fragrance is mostly floral with just a hint of citrus.  It's light, not too sweet, not too flowery, and not too "little old lady".  Best of all, it hasn't given me a headache.  I'm not rushing out to buy a bottle, but it's going on my short list for future reference.  $45 for 1oz. at Sephora.com.  There's also a rollerball option available for $18.

Now, I'm going to preach for a second.  This morning, when I grabbed the Michael Kors out of the bag, I noticed that I have a sample of Chanel.  My first thought was, "Oh!  I'll have to save that for a special occasion!"  Then, I thought about how I'd spent my morning cleaning out cabinets, getting ready to move into a new apartment, and how I'd thrown away a garbage bag full of expensive, beautiful products that I'd put up for special occasions.  They'd been "too pretty to use", and ended up turning rancid and going to waste.  Then, I thought about the fancy hand cream that I gave my grandmother for Mother's Day last year, and how it was still sitting on her dresser, unopened, when I went to pick up an outfit for her funeral a few months later.  It had been "too pretty to use".

Life is a special occasion.  Every day that we wake up and breathe in and out should be celebrated.  Break out the bath salts and aromatherapy candles you got for Christmas, or the way-too-expensive body lotion you got for your birthday.  Wear those awesome heels you bought on sale, even though you couldn't think of a reason to wear them (they'll probably look hot with jeans, right?).  Whatever it is you're hanging onto, enjoy it!  It's only going to go to waste if you don't, and what good does that do?  If you use it, the worst that will happen is that you'll use it up.  Big deal.  It's only a thing, and can always be replaced--maybe with something even better.  All I know is that tomorrow, I'm celebrating Tuesday, and maybe with Chanel.

 

It's Like a Heatwave, Burning In My...Oh, Everything...

So, it's a million and twelve degrees down here in the Deep South, with about 5000% humidity. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating...slightly. All I know is that it's hot. I mean, ice-water-chugging, egg-frying-on-the-sidewalk, Fall-can't-get-here-fast-enough miserable. My apartment can't seem to get any cooler than 80 degrees, and that's with the AC cranked up, ceiling fans, and one of those Hawaiian Breeze ocillating fans. The birds love it. Of course, they're tropical and I am not.

I know it's not just here, too. The whole country seems to be in a continuous heatwave this Summer, and for that, I'm sorry. I went through three or four cans of hairspray on The Night Shift, so I take full blame for any extra holes in the ozone. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

As atonement, I have compiled a survival guide to help you cope with these Dog Days of Summer. To keep things simple (and inexpensive), all products can be found at Target.

Personally, I'd like to forget about clothing altogether, at this point, but I think the people I work with would appreciate if I stayed as covered up as humanly possible. This little white dress is a fair alternative to going full-out Lady Godiva.

I like that it's 100% cotton, so it breathes, and the design is airy, but covered up and dressy enough that you could wear it to work in a casual office setting. A word of caution, though: reviewers have mentioned that it is a bit on the sheer side (so be careful of your undergarments, ladies), and that you might want to skip putting it in the dryer. They've also mentioned quality construction, comparable to Forever 21. Mossimo, $15.38, Target.com.

There have been days when it was too hot to even wear flip-flops, but shoes are pretty much a necessity in civilized society. Might I suggest a pair like these? First off, they're dressy/casual, so they're versatile. Secondly, the cork is absorbant, which...well, let's face it: feet sweat. I'd rather not slosh around in my shoes, thank you very much. Cork is also very soft and tends to mold to your foot for comfort. Mossimo, $12.99, Target.com.

I'm actually carrying this purse right now. I've had it for about three months, and love it. It's roomy enough to carry what you need, but small enough that you can't fill it with the entire contents of Mary Poppins Carpet Bag. The cotton construction allows the purse (and what's inside it) to breathe, keeping your stuff from getting too hot. It's also washable, durable, and cute as pie. Available in several colors and patterns. Merona, $7.00 (really!!), Target.com.

Please remember sunscreen!! Around here, burn times run about ten minutes. Really, I don't care what brand you use--if it's sports, kids, spray, lotion, or purple--just use something! Sunburns suck, but skin cancer is so much worse. Neutrogena, $9.94, Target.com.

I don't know about you, but lotion melts off my legs, these days. I still need something to keep them moisturized (sweat doesn't count), and this light body mist is just the thing. Put out by Soap & Glory, Girligo is a non-greasy spray moisturizer that leaves your skin silky smooth and freshly scented. I'm also in love with the retro packaging. Soap & Glory, $11.99, Target.com.

Last, but not least, let's put on a little color without worrying about it melting in the car. CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain is, well, just what it says it is. It's a long-wearing lipstain. What's cool about it is that it comes in a marker form--sort of like a Sharpie for your face. Also, unlike many lipstains, it's moisturizing, so you don't end up with flaky lips, or need to carry around a separate lip balm or gloss to put over it. CoverGirl, $7.89, Target.com.

There. We can all "glow" instead of "puddle". Now, maybe Al Gore will get off my back. Again, sorry.

*Photos by Target

Challenge! B-Movie Update

Photo by Netflix

Last night, Thomas and I kicked back with Mystery Science Theatre 3000's take on The Blood Waters of Dr. Z. To say this was a bad movie would be like saying that sugar is a bad fuel additive--quite the understatement. I mean, I guess it's good as a public service announcement. The monster does remember to always use handrails when taking the stairs, afterall.
Overall, it's some of the best work the MST3K guys have done. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, and once I looked over and Thomas actually had tears in his eyes. It's hilarious, and if you haven't seen it, you're really missing out.

Now, for the point. This was a severely dated movie. It came out in the 70s, and everything about it screams period. Toward the end of the movie, one of the actresses had on a maxi dress. Taking into consideration the pastel colors and sheer, flowy material, I think it was chosen to represent her youth and beauty. I couldn't find an image of it from the movie, but here's a dress that's fairly close.

Photo by Rusty Zipper

Now, the dress in the movie had a higher neckline and was all yellow, but other than that, this is pretty similar. It's a lovely dress, but it's so of its era, I'm not sure you could wear it and it not look costumey. If you're into it, though (and you happen to be a size 0 Extra Small), it's available for $35 at rustyzipper.com.

I thought it might be a fun challenge to see if I could find a modern version; something a little more wearable, but still keeping the basics--flowy material, floral motif, pastel colors, youth and beauty. Oh, one more thing, the movie was set in Florida, so weather appropriate (no long sleeves).

This was a much tougher challenge than I had estimated. Apparently, tribal prints and tie-dye are all the rage when it comes to maxi dresses. I had no idea. I'm 5'3" and curvy. I have no business even looking at maxi dresses, much less wearing them. Who knew?

I did find one, though, at Macy's (on sale for $17.99!!!), and I have to say I'm fairly proud of myself.

Photo by Macy's

I apologize for the awful picture. I won't go into the details, but it was like pulling teeth to get a picture this good. If you would like to see a better image, you can go here, but I couldn't pull it for the site. Sorry.
Okay, everyone back from Macy's? Isn't it pretty?! For those of you who didn't attend the field trip, it's a strapless maxi dress, white, with a ruffled neckline. It's a blouson (peasant) style maxi with a smocked waistband and a blurred (no kidding) Ikat print. It's lovely, and , I thought, a nice update for the movie dress.

Let's just hope they never update the movie. Some things should just be left alone. *shudder*

Spies Like Us

Burn Notice is one of my favorite shows. Spies, comedy, romance, suspense, shoot 'em ups, and, of course, Mr. Bruce Campbell (in case you haven't noticed, I love me some Bruce). It's also one of my husband's favorite shows, so Thursday nights are very much looked forward to. We finish dinner, pop some popcorn, and settle in for whatever new calamity might befall Michael Weston.

And that's when I start driving Thomas batty:

Me: Oh, my God! I love her little (insert fantastic outfit here)!

Thomas: She needs to eat something.

Me: Yes, but oh, it's so cute! Where do they find this stuff?

Thomas: Shhhh...

Me: And the shoes!!! Um...why do they have that guy tied up?

Thomas: *facepalm*

So, in an attempt to quiet down and give poor Thomas a little peace for tonight's episode, I have taken it upon myself to find Fiona's wardrobe. Obviously, I don't have the budget USA has or access to their wardrobe department, but I do have access to the Forever 21 website. So there.

According to USA's Burn Notice Spy Style page, Fiona is partial to the following:

The assymetric high society dress. First we have Fiona's, then the affordable alternative for $19.80. I tried to find a picture of the dress she wears in the pilot (and in the opening spiel for every episode), but couldn't. I think this Forever 21 dress looks just like it. If anyone finds it, let me know and I'll update the post with it.

The V-neck butterfly dress. This one from Forever 21 is only $14.50 The tangerine trapeze dress. I actually like this off-the rack version better. I'm a sucker for details, and the wooden beads are killer. It's $24.80.

An embroidered romper. This Forever 21 version is a really reasonable facsimile, I think. The color's different, but at $14.50, I can deal. Cargo pants and a simple tank. This inexpensive alternative will run you $26.40 total.
Of course, you can't talk Burn Notice without mentioning sunglasses. This mall pair will run you a whopping $5.80.

So, there you have it. Again, all styles are from Forever 21. Happy shopping, and try not to spill any yogurt on anything.

 

*Photos by USA Network and Forever 21