It's Like a Heatwave, Burning In My...Oh, Everything...

So, it's a million and twelve degrees down here in the Deep South, with about 5000% humidity. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating...slightly. All I know is that it's hot. I mean, ice-water-chugging, egg-frying-on-the-sidewalk, Fall-can't-get-here-fast-enough miserable. My apartment can't seem to get any cooler than 80 degrees, and that's with the AC cranked up, ceiling fans, and one of those Hawaiian Breeze ocillating fans. The birds love it. Of course, they're tropical and I am not.

I know it's not just here, too. The whole country seems to be in a continuous heatwave this Summer, and for that, I'm sorry. I went through three or four cans of hairspray on The Night Shift, so I take full blame for any extra holes in the ozone. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

As atonement, I have compiled a survival guide to help you cope with these Dog Days of Summer. To keep things simple (and inexpensive), all products can be found at Target.

Personally, I'd like to forget about clothing altogether, at this point, but I think the people I work with would appreciate if I stayed as covered up as humanly possible. This little white dress is a fair alternative to going full-out Lady Godiva.

I like that it's 100% cotton, so it breathes, and the design is airy, but covered up and dressy enough that you could wear it to work in a casual office setting. A word of caution, though: reviewers have mentioned that it is a bit on the sheer side (so be careful of your undergarments, ladies), and that you might want to skip putting it in the dryer. They've also mentioned quality construction, comparable to Forever 21. Mossimo, $15.38, Target.com.

There have been days when it was too hot to even wear flip-flops, but shoes are pretty much a necessity in civilized society. Might I suggest a pair like these? First off, they're dressy/casual, so they're versatile. Secondly, the cork is absorbant, which...well, let's face it: feet sweat. I'd rather not slosh around in my shoes, thank you very much. Cork is also very soft and tends to mold to your foot for comfort. Mossimo, $12.99, Target.com.

I'm actually carrying this purse right now. I've had it for about three months, and love it. It's roomy enough to carry what you need, but small enough that you can't fill it with the entire contents of Mary Poppins Carpet Bag. The cotton construction allows the purse (and what's inside it) to breathe, keeping your stuff from getting too hot. It's also washable, durable, and cute as pie. Available in several colors and patterns. Merona, $7.00 (really!!), Target.com.

Please remember sunscreen!! Around here, burn times run about ten minutes. Really, I don't care what brand you use--if it's sports, kids, spray, lotion, or purple--just use something! Sunburns suck, but skin cancer is so much worse. Neutrogena, $9.94, Target.com.

I don't know about you, but lotion melts off my legs, these days. I still need something to keep them moisturized (sweat doesn't count), and this light body mist is just the thing. Put out by Soap & Glory, Girligo is a non-greasy spray moisturizer that leaves your skin silky smooth and freshly scented. I'm also in love with the retro packaging. Soap & Glory, $11.99, Target.com.

Last, but not least, let's put on a little color without worrying about it melting in the car. CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain is, well, just what it says it is. It's a long-wearing lipstain. What's cool about it is that it comes in a marker form--sort of like a Sharpie for your face. Also, unlike many lipstains, it's moisturizing, so you don't end up with flaky lips, or need to carry around a separate lip balm or gloss to put over it. CoverGirl, $7.89, Target.com.

There. We can all "glow" instead of "puddle". Now, maybe Al Gore will get off my back. Again, sorry.

*Photos by Target