While I Was Out: Where the *Bleep* Have I Been, Anyway?

Hi guys. I know, it's been forever since I posted, but I can explain: life is weird.

Here's the deal. Over the past couple of months, things have gone from the ridiculous to the sublime at my house. To start with, Thomas and I have written a script, and stuff is kind of starting to sort of,  maybe, not completely but could-at-any-moment happen with it. I can't really go into it ('cause there's nothing to go into), but we optioned it (it's Facebook official, and everything), and now we're just pacing the delivery room, waiting and hoping to pass out cigars, eventually.

Now, as those of you who have been around here already know, we've also been steadily trying to renovate our sunroom. Well, the good news is: we finished it! And it's gorgeous! The bad news is: it immediately flooded, along with a good chunk of the rest of the house. No joke. Our area experienced "historical" rainfalls, and pretty much half the city ended up with at least some water in their houses. Before anyone tries to organize a fundraiser, or anything, though, let me assure you that we are perfectly okay. Thomas and I were extremely lucky that the water that came in was minimal, did absolutely no damage to any of our furniture or belongings, and was quickly cleaned up. We only lost the carpet in our room and the hallway, and for about a day, we honestly thought we'd saved it. It was really not a big deal. We also have a very elaborate system of drains that normally works perfectly. There was just so. much. rain. Like, half a foot in an hour, or some such nonsense like that. In any case, here's a shot of part of the sunroom. Thomas took a really nice panoramic video of the whole thing, but it hates me and won't embed.

 

You'd never guess it used to be teal with white trim and white-ish carpet. There's still junk in there that needs to be cleaned up, and an extra air hockey table (any takers?), but I'm calling it done.

 

And, since the carpet was up in the hallway, we took the opportunity to paint in there, as well. Since we already had orange and brown, that seemed a nice, warm and cozy color scheme to stick with.

Look, Ma! New carpet!



And...it looks like The Shining. Ronnie has two identical stuffed dinosaurs (his baby and a backup), and I really (like, you have no idea how badly) want to put them side by side at the end of the hall. We were about three-quarters of the way through painting when we realized the similarity, so we decided it was easiest to just go with it. We got the creepiest mirror and sconces we could find, and I'm planning to put a framed minimalist poster for the movie on the opposite wall.

It's hard to tell, but those are all distressed, and the candles are black. I'm planning to have a virgin light them on Halloween night to see if the Sanderson Sisters show up.

Anyway, while all this was going on, Thomas and I learned that Night of the Krampus was nominated for a Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award. Holy crap. People like Joss Whedon and Greg Nicotero win those things. Plus, the other shorts nominated were all amazing. It really and truly was an honor to be in their company, and associated with this award in any way. The winners were announced Monday night, and I am happily shocked to report that we walked away with First Runner-Up. The winning film was a shot-for-shot remake of the 1931 Dracula trailer, made by the folks over at Cinefix. It's absolutely hilarious, and I highly encourage all of you to check it out. I subbed to the channel after watching it. Congrats to them on a well deserved win!

Finally, I'm finishing up rehearsals for an Andrews Sisters tribute act, and we have our first gig next week. I've had a Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy earworm alternating with Do You Want To Build a Snowman for weeks (freaking memes). Blood may be shed soon.

Anyhoo, that's what's been going on around the Smith house--oh! We're filming tomorrow, too. I knew I'd forgotten something. Basically, it's a circus, but at least most of the acts are really cool.

In conclusion, I leave you with a chihuahua assembling a bed frame:

 

Awwwwww!!!!

In Case of Zombie Uprising...Oh, Just Shoot Me.

So...I would not fare well in a zombie apocalypse. Nope.

Seriously.

Let me just fill you in on my day, thus far. Last night, my darling, adorable, precious, angel of a puppy decided that sleep was for the weak and kept us up all night crying. Why was he crying, you ask? Was he sick? Was he in pain? Did he have to go to the bathroom? No, to all of those. He cried because after Thomas tucked him into his little memory foam bed in his specially-designed pup tent, and wrapped him in his very own fleece blankie, and put his most favoritest stuffed dinosaur next to him so they could cuddle, as they are wont to do...the blankie fell off. This made him slightly less comfortable than he had been, therefore, rather than burrow back down under the blankie, as he's done a million times, he decided to cry...and cry...and cry...until someone (Thomas) put the blankie back on him.

Then it fell off again. Lather, rinse, repeat. All. Night. Long.

I am sleepy.

My coffee pot, thankfully, decided to work this morning, so at least I was able to force a little caffeine down my throat while I got ready to head off to the doctor's office for my yearly checkup. I stumbled around, had difficulty standing, and basically felt and acted like I'd already turned into a "walker", but still managed to curl my hair, fix my face, and throw together a halfway decent outfit. Heck, my shoes matched each other, if not the rest of the ensemble. I takes my victories where I can gets 'em.

Anyhoo, I got the dog situated for the day, took care of the parakeet, and somehow managed to arrive at the doc's office early. Not just "on time", but actually a few minutes ahead of schedule. However, I picked a busy morning in the middle of flu season, so I didn't get to see the doc for quite a while. No matter. I didn't let it bother me in the least. I calmly contacted my office to let them know I'd be a little late, and when the doc (God bless her, she's slammed and still the sweetest lady ever) took my blood pressure, I was A-OK.

When I left the office, I decided to grab lunch at my favorite little deli (which is in my building), so I headed straight to work. I was cool. I was calm. I was collected. I was the walrus (coo-coo-kachoo)...

...then I nearly wrecked the car because I saw a spider crawl on the window. For about a mile and a half, I drove with both feet together for fear the evil spider might get me. Each time he popped out of his hiding place, I jumped, forcing both feet onto the pedal, and causing the wheel to jerk in whichever direction my body spasmed. It's a freaking miracle of Biblical proportions I didn't hit anyone. I ended up pulling over into a gas station and scouring the car for that little multi-legged so-and-so. I never did find him. He's still there, and I have to get home somehow. I'm hoping the heat from the inside of the car will fry him.

So, yeah. I can handle sleep deprivation, scheduling, stress, and all kinds of pressure, but the eensy-weensy spider scares the bejeesus out of me. In the event of a zombie uprising, do us all a favor and put me down. That is all.

Oh--no, it's not! Thomas found these, so for your viewing pleasure, here is a collection of some of the web's very best The Walking Dead memes. Please note: the language is on the salty side, so it may not be totally safe for work. They are pretty darn funny, though.

He's a Chihuahua/Spiderman Mix.



Photo Credit (All): PetSmart



I have a new puppy; a lolling, sweet, angelic, loving and affectionate little furball, who, for some reason, licks the backs of my calves and melts my heart.

Thomas has a new toy.

The two boys wrestle with Zebra and Rex (respectively, a once-stuffed zebra which now resembles an old sock, and a growling plush dinosaur), chase the laser pointer, and fight over who gets to snuggle with me on the couch (I like that game). Thomas calls Ronnie "Little Dude", and they are the bestest buddies ever.

So, of course, pup-pup is spoiled rotten. As he should be.

On our most recent trip to PetSmart (minus Little Dude. We have a budget. Bringing him would kill it), we stumbled upon a new collection of doggie products...from Marvel.

Oh. Dear. God.

There were chew toys, pull toys, stuffed toys, frisbees, bandannas, t-shirts...the works, and all emblazoned with superheroes. Thank Heavens none of the shirts in stock were Ronnie's size, because we'd be broke. I did consider bringing home a Spiderman pull toy, but it seemed too big for his mouth. Actually, I'd say that, in general, the toys seemed to be better suited for larger dogs. The stuffed animals were okay for smaller pets, but most of the other items seemed too large for our little fella to comfortable hold on to.

The prices were also a little steep, but that's to be expected for a limited-time, licensed line. Frisbees start at $3. Tennis balls run $5, with other toys in the $8-$10 range. Bandannas are $8, and a t-shirt will set you back $15. They do run sales, though, and one appears to be going on now. Some items are in-store only.

We ended up settling for a 99-cent store-brand frisbee and a sale sweatshirt (he gets cold...who knew, with all that fur?), but, for a larger dog, this line sure is super-adorable.