In Case Of (Costume) Emergency: No-Muss, No-Fuss Halloween Ideas

Dear God, we are about to head into the very last weekend before Halloween! How did that happen? I haven't finished my Christmas shopping, yet!

Seriously, though, it may seem like it's too late to put together a fantastic costume for any last-minute parties you may be planning to attend. I assure you...

...yeah, it is. But there's still plenty of time to throw together a half-way decent ensemble. Below, I've come up with four low-to-no cost, practically zero-effort, toss together in no time costume ideas. They're not great, but hey, desperate times and all that. So, without further ado, here are my 2013 suggestions.

1. Melissa McCarthy Elle Cover

This cover has caused a bit of an uproar recently, concerning body issues in Hollywood and in the fashion industry. McCarthy, herself, has defended the photo, and even admitted that she's the one who picked the coat, so I'm all for letting the offense over this photo drop. That said, one thing about this photo is undeniable: she looks freaking hawt. I mean, wowzers! Honestly, between the gorgeous subject, stunning photography, and public drama, this shot could very well become iconic. Plus, it's the easiest Halloween costume since the t-shirt that says, "This IS My Halloween Costume". All you need is smokin' hot makeup, drop earrings, a black dress, heels, your winter coat (or one from the local thrift shop), and a metric ton of hairspray. This costume also gets bonus points for being wearable away from the party, as well.

 2. Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead

I happened to run across this little gem at the Halloween store, and had a minor conniption fit at the $29.99 price tag. I'm sorry, but if you want to dress as Daryl Dixon, you don't need to buy a pre-made costume. Heck, I could put together a feminine version with stuff out of my closet. All you need (male or female) is a brown, green, or white tank top, some old jeans, boots (if you've got them. Dark sneakers would work in a pinch), and, well, a lot of dirt. If you want, you can always mix up a tiny batch of fake blood to smear on your face and body. Now, if you want an ear necklace, you're on your own. (Spirit Halloween does sell one...ew...)

3. Rejected Angel Vessel from Supernatural

This is, by far, the easiest costume. I can't find a decent photo online, but if you're a fan, you know what I'm talking about (and if you're not a fan...A) why not? and B) why would you want a costume from it?). Wear whatever clothing you want. Be comfy. Be cute. Be sexy. Be whatever. It's the makeup that makes this costume. Do your normal makeup, but skip the eyes. Then, use black greasepaint to black-out your eyes, like you would if you were going to put on a superhero mask. Lastly, using either fake blood or, as a last resort, lipstick, add blood dripping from the eyes. Done.

*BONUS: You could add the greasepaint and blood to nostril and mouth areas to go as a fresh walker from this season of The Walking Dead.

4. Ridiculously Photogenic Running Back

This is more for the guys, but ladies can feel free to give it a go. I don't know if you've heard about this viral photo, but it's adorable. A football player for Notre Dame lost his helmet during a recent game, and finished the play before stopping to put it back on. In the short time he was sans chapeau, a photographer snapped this pic that looks like an ad in a catalog. I think it's the little half smile that sends it over the top. Anyway, if you're in a bind and happen to have a football jersey lying around, dab a little greasepaint under the eyes, toussle your hair, and go be your ridiculously photogenic self.

Have a great weekend, guys!

In Case of Zombie Uprising...Oh, Just Shoot Me.

So...I would not fare well in a zombie apocalypse. Nope.

Seriously.

Let me just fill you in on my day, thus far. Last night, my darling, adorable, precious, angel of a puppy decided that sleep was for the weak and kept us up all night crying. Why was he crying, you ask? Was he sick? Was he in pain? Did he have to go to the bathroom? No, to all of those. He cried because after Thomas tucked him into his little memory foam bed in his specially-designed pup tent, and wrapped him in his very own fleece blankie, and put his most favoritest stuffed dinosaur next to him so they could cuddle, as they are wont to do...the blankie fell off. This made him slightly less comfortable than he had been, therefore, rather than burrow back down under the blankie, as he's done a million times, he decided to cry...and cry...and cry...until someone (Thomas) put the blankie back on him.

Then it fell off again. Lather, rinse, repeat. All. Night. Long.

I am sleepy.

My coffee pot, thankfully, decided to work this morning, so at least I was able to force a little caffeine down my throat while I got ready to head off to the doctor's office for my yearly checkup. I stumbled around, had difficulty standing, and basically felt and acted like I'd already turned into a "walker", but still managed to curl my hair, fix my face, and throw together a halfway decent outfit. Heck, my shoes matched each other, if not the rest of the ensemble. I takes my victories where I can gets 'em.

Anyhoo, I got the dog situated for the day, took care of the parakeet, and somehow managed to arrive at the doc's office early. Not just "on time", but actually a few minutes ahead of schedule. However, I picked a busy morning in the middle of flu season, so I didn't get to see the doc for quite a while. No matter. I didn't let it bother me in the least. I calmly contacted my office to let them know I'd be a little late, and when the doc (God bless her, she's slammed and still the sweetest lady ever) took my blood pressure, I was A-OK.

When I left the office, I decided to grab lunch at my favorite little deli (which is in my building), so I headed straight to work. I was cool. I was calm. I was collected. I was the walrus (coo-coo-kachoo)...

...then I nearly wrecked the car because I saw a spider crawl on the window. For about a mile and a half, I drove with both feet together for fear the evil spider might get me. Each time he popped out of his hiding place, I jumped, forcing both feet onto the pedal, and causing the wheel to jerk in whichever direction my body spasmed. It's a freaking miracle of Biblical proportions I didn't hit anyone. I ended up pulling over into a gas station and scouring the car for that little multi-legged so-and-so. I never did find him. He's still there, and I have to get home somehow. I'm hoping the heat from the inside of the car will fry him.

So, yeah. I can handle sleep deprivation, scheduling, stress, and all kinds of pressure, but the eensy-weensy spider scares the bejeesus out of me. In the event of a zombie uprising, do us all a favor and put me down. That is all.

Oh--no, it's not! Thomas found these, so for your viewing pleasure, here is a collection of some of the web's very best The Walking Dead memes. Please note: the language is on the salty side, so it may not be totally safe for work. They are pretty darn funny, though.

Frugal Friday: Santa Baby!

Photo Credit: Apple

No doubt about it, the holidays are beyond stressful! First of all, they're expensive. Secondly, you have to come up with the "perfect" gift for everyone on your (if you're like me, evergrowing) list. Thirdly, to get these gifts you either have to go to the over-crowded mall and be stepped on and crushed and coughed on, or do your shopping online and hope to God the mailman actually delivers your gift, and that it's not stolen before you can get home. Alternately, you may have to go to the post office to pick up your package, and my post office just so happens to be in the mall...which renders online shopping to avoid the mall pointless. *headdesk*

I miss being a kid. I miss Santa. Lord knows, I have no desire to wait in the horrendous line (at the mall) with a bunch of germy kiddos to sit in his lap and tell him that all I want for Christmas is my dignity back. No, thank you. I did, a few years back, travel through the 34th Street Macy's Santaland, but mostly because of David Sedaris (Please check out his Santaland Diaries!!), and I opted to go on the grownup route and skip talking to the fat man. Santa represents magic, wonder, and the innocence of childhood. Plus, he does all the work. I really need a little Santa in my life, but on a level that doesn't leave people questioning my sanity (more than usual).

In my quest for a little Christmas magic, I ran across a few freebies and cheapies that, believe it or not, did make me just a twinge jollier. It's not snowflakes and cocoa and Rudolph's nose, but it's a start.

Talking Santa smartphone app: I'm not recommending this. I'm not putting it on my own phone, so why should I tell you to put it on yours. It takes up a ton of memory that I'm not willing to give up. However, should you have tons of memory to spare, you can:

Talk to Santa and he will repeat your words.
Poke, swipe or tickle Santa to see his various reactions.
Run Santa over with a huge snowball.
Give Santa milk & cookies.
Touch the bag to see your gifts.
Send customized Christmas cards (email, MMS or Facebook)
Record videos and upload them to YouTube & Facebook or send them by email or MMS.

For Android, click here. For iPhone, click here (99cents for iPhone).

@santa on Twitter: Read status updates and ask the jolly one questions with this real-time feed!

Free Letters From Santa Claus: Choose what message you'd like to send, pick a color scheme, fill in a few details (name of child, wished-for toy, etc.--nothing personal), download and print! For $2.99, upgrade the graphics and add a personalized, decorative envelope.

NORAD Santa: Countdown to Christmas Eve and track Santa's route with this perennial favorite! Free apps available for Android and iPhone, too, so you can check in on old Kris Kringle from anywhere!

Northpole.com: Play games, chat with elves, and even send Santa a letter--and get one back--while you explore Santa's workshop and village! Ever seen a disco dancing Santa? I have. A super fun hoot for the holidays. Bif, the mailroom elf, says my letter from Santa should be ready in three days! (Letters are free. Upgrades are available for a fee.)

*UPDATE! I just got my letter from Santa, and it's absolutely precious! It looks like it's on official North Pole letterhead, and reads:

Dear Erin,
I really enjoyed hearing from you this year! As you know, Christmas is right around the corner, and we have been very busy this year at the North Pole. The elves have been finishing up all the toys to deliver to the good girls and boys around the world, and we've been preparing my sleigh for the long trip Christmas Eve. It has a new coat of shiny red paint and new blades so the reindeer can fly faster!

Once my sleigh is packed and ready to go, I'll be off on my journey around the world. I'm reading your letter right now, and it looks like you've been a very nice girl this year. That makes me so happy. Keep up the good work!

While you are asleep on Christmas Eve, the reindeer will quietly land my sleigh so I can tiptoe into your home.

I see that you like stuffed animals. I love stuffed animals too. I sleep with my teddy bear every night. He is warm and cuddly, and he is my best friend. The elves have been very busy this year making many new and different stuffed animals for Christmas!

Mrs. Claus is calling for me so I must go now. I think I smell hot chocolate, too. It must be time for my break! I just love hot chocolate during the Christmas season!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a Merry Christmas!
 

Your Special Friend,




If you have a few minutes, and would like to have Santa send a special child in your life a personalized message, head over to NorthPole.com and fill out the free form. It only takes a moment, and the letter will be ready in three days--just in time for Christmas!

Last Dance, Last Chance

Photo Credit: MAC Cosmetics

So...um...my Internet's out. Cable, too. The modem, apparently, is about as dead as John Cleese's parakeet. This is especially annoying, because Thomas and I were planning to video-on-demand (can you use that as a verb? Well, I just did) Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, since it's not available on Redbox or Netflix, yet. I even tried one of the last brick-and-mortar Blockbusters in town, and they were out. I'm about to have to go out and buy the darn thing, because we really want to see this movie. Thomas and I once shared an X-Box with Brandon Routh (long story that involves Galaxy Quest, Twihards, and a farce-like quest for a gift bag), and he was just lovely; really sweet, polite, down-to-Earth guy. Since then, we've watched everything he's done, in hopes that our support will help him get more work. He's a very underrated actor, and I enjoyed Superman Returns, and to this day proclaim that it wasn't his fault...but I digress.

My point, is that I'm on borrowed time, here, so my ability to research has been somewhat limited. Luckily, MAC dropped a happy little surprise into my inbox:

THE BLOGGERS' OBSESSIONS COLLECTION IS BACK!!!

In case you missed it the first time, or your favorite product sold out before you could order, everything is back and in stock! Hop on this before they're gone again! Just to recap, these are products created by beauty bloggers, and are super on-trend.

I bought the Hocus Pocus eyeshadow and the Sonoran Rain lipglass. The Hocus Pocus is a sparkly, smoky gray with a greenish tinge, and it's my new go-to for a smoky eye. The Sonoran Rain is a very bright orangy-red with gold and silver shimmer. It's not for the faint of heart, but gorgeous all the same. Read my full reviews here (which also, funnily enough, contain bad Monty Python references. Hmmm....). All items are $14.50, and only available online. Now, get going!