Dear Santa, I'd Like a Little Blue Box...

I want a TARDIS.  After spending this weekend moving, with no hope of finishing in sight, I would love to have a home with seemingly infinite space, that I could move wherever, whenever I wished.  U-hauls suck, especially when they try to take your husband's arm as a souvenier.  Pick-up trucks are great...until it rains.  With a TARDIS, everything goes with you.  There's no chance that your neighbors will see you packing up the car and take it upon themselves to "help" by stealing your patio set and lawn decorations.  You never have to have the cable and Internet transferred, so there's no possibility of the cable company losing your service request, then informing you that the only date available to make up the visit is while you're supposed to be at work and have no way to take off.  The TARDIS runs off its own power, so you never have to deal with the gas company, or spend days without hot water.  The Doctor never has to take cold showers (well, not unless he just wants to). 

Now, I'll admit, the TARDIS is a little on the eccentric side.  I mean, it is a blue police box.  We've seen what that looks like in Pompeii, Victorian England, and on countless planets.  I'm not sure how well it would fit in around 21st Century Alabama.  Even now, I'm flashing back to my wedding, where we had a TARDIS groom's cake.  The baker was perplexed, the guests kept commenting that they had no idea Thomas was a police officer, and my mother was horrified that this bright blue thing was clashing with the purple, green, and gold reception (yeah, I'm from the land of Mardi Gras).  But then, once the kids starting running around with blue tongues, it was kind of worth all the confusion.  Aw, heck, nevermind propiety!  I'll have a TARDIS, and anyone who has a problem with it can take it up with the Doctor! 

Um...any ideas where to find one?

I guess, for the time being, I'll have to settle for something more along these lines.  So what if I'm doing my kitchen in a bright red, retro 50s theme?  It's a time-traveling device.  It'll fit right in. 

Photo by ThinkGeek.  $26.99, ThinkGeek.com