Friday, September 3, 2010

And Now, a Rant.

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Excuse me, folks, but I need to take a moment to scream.  On Monday, I posted a list of the best and worst Emmy dresses, and I listed Christina Hendricks (Mad Men, Firefly) as one of the worst.  Well, today, I found out a possible reason:  designers won't lend her dresses because she's too big.  I kind of want to throw things right now.

Ms. Hendricks wears a US size 10.  Folks, that's not big.  She's 5'8", for crying out loud, and was recently named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive.  I don't think she'd have that distinction if she were a size 4.  She'd look a little bit like my tween-aged brother.

Then again, if she were a size 4, she still wouldn't be able to borrow a dress.  Designers only hand out sizes 0-2.  Zero. through. two.  To put that into perspective, when I was 21, my dad passed away unexpectedly.  I stopped eating (naturally), and dropped down to 100 lbs (healthy weight:  113-141).  I was in an opera at school, and my costume had to be taken up and straps added just to hold it up, then we had to pad my bra three times to fill out the chest.  Even at this insane weight, I was still a juniors size 3.  I might have been able to squeeze into a Misses size 2, but it would have been pushing it.  By the way, I'm five inches shorter than Ms. Hendricks.  This woman would have to be emaciated to fit into a size 2, and there is nothing sexy about an eating disorder. 

Now, I know some of you are wondering, "why don't these celebrities have to buy their gowns?  I have to buy my own clothes."  That's valid.  You see, the red carpet is a chance for designers to show off their work.  It's publicity, high profile, and a lot less expensive than an full-on fashion show.  This is where we learn about the likes of Halston and Herrera.  It's where new designers are discovered, and established designers prove they're still relevant.  In turn, these celebrities know that the right dress on the carpet can do a lot to boost a career.  Almost no one had heard of Elizabeth Hurley before she wore that safety-pinned gown.  Jennifer Lopez got some serious publicity off of her plunging green dress.  Nicole Kidman was simply Mrs. Tom Cruise until she started stepping on to the red carpet in one gorgeous creation after another.  Now, she's a fashion icon.  Charlize Theron won the oscar for her portrayal of an overweight, ugly serial killer, then reminded us how gorgeous she was by picking up the award while dressed in shimmering Gucci.  I don't watch Glee, but I know who Lea Michele is because I keep seeing red carpet pictures of her in amazing dresses.  Basically, the better the look, the more you get talked about.  It's not fashion, it's strategy. 

Ms. Hendricks is not whining that she has to pay for a dress.  She's simply trying to level the playing field without sacrificing her health, and for that, I wish her the best of luck.

Now, to move onto the magic bag o' samples!  Today's pick:  Yu-Be Foaming Skin Polish.  $18,  According to the site:
Yu-Be Foaming Skin Polish is an advanced purifying, exfoliating prep-step to boost the effectiveness of your skincare routine. Rice bran and walnut shell powder slough away debris and dead skin cells while glycerin and camphor soothe and moisturize. The results are silky-smooth and touchable.

According to the directions, you are supposed to pour a quarter-sized amount into your hand, add a generous amount of water, and lather up.  Then, you can apply the polish to your entire body, from your face to your feet.  So I did.  I poured the entire contents of my sample package into my hand.  It looked like marmalade and smelled like, well, nothing.  I don't mean it's unscented, I mean it smelled like air, like there was nothing in my hand. 

I added a lot of water, and lathered up a rich foam.  Then I applied the foam to my face, arms, chest, and...actually, that's as far as it went.  I guess you need a half-dollar sized amount if you want to get past your tummy.  The exfoliants are humongous and very rough, and by the time I finished scrubbing down, my skin was, literally, squeaky clean.  I don't mean that in a good way.  The polish had dried my skin out to the point that it was tight and painful.  It had stripped my skin, and I practically ran out of the shower to slather on moisturizer.  Not only do I not recommend this product, I urge you to run as far away from it as possible.

1 comment:

  1. preach, sister. and frankly, i trust the readership of esquire FAR more than i trust the fashion industry to understand what a real woman looks like, eh?


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