That's HOW Much?: A Rant

I ran across this article from Cracked today: 5 Absurdly Expensive Pieces of Junk Food. To start with, I just giggled at the thought of someone paying over a hundred bucks for Ramen. I mean, really? The stuff costs about a quarter, tops, at the grocery store. Even if you fancy it up a bit with a pretty bowl or floral garnish, you're still coming out lightyears ahead by making it at home. But then, my jaw dropped. 

Photo Credit: The Consumerist

$25,000 for hot chocolate. I kid thee not. That's more expensive than my car, which I'm nowhere close to paying off, but at least it serves a purpose. $25,000 would cover the costs of two and a half productions of The Night Shift. It's about a fifth of a small house, or, depending on the school, a good chunk of a college education. Spending that much money on dessert is criminal. I can't even justify for a wedding proposal, since $25,000 could pay for the ring, a lovely wedding with reception, darn nice honeymoon, and maybe have enough left over for the down payment on a cute little condo. I don't care that it consists of 28 different cocoas, expensive truffles, and enough edible gold to fill a mouth full of cavities this much sugar could create. It's little consolation that you get to keep the gold and diamond accented bowl and spoon, or the jeweled bracelet "surprise" in the bottom of the frozen confection. It's a waste of money. Seriously, if you have $25,000 that you just don't want anymore, I'm sure that St. Jude's Children's Hospital or the Ronald McDonald House, or any number of other worthy causes would be more than happy to relieve you of your "burden".

 

(If you want to make your own fancy frozen hot chocolate, Paula Deen has a yummy and easy recipe on Food Network. You could even use the high end, spicy Wicked hot chocolate mix and chocolate bar from my old boss, Jacques Torres, and still not even make a dent in that gilded concoction's price tag.) 

 

Believe it or not, though, that's not the item that made me mad. I mean, yes, it's wasteful. It's downright unconscionable to spend that kind of money on, essentially, a hoity-toity granita. But (and this is a big but), anyone who does knows what they're doing. There's a two-week lead time, so reservations are required, and it's twenty-five freaking thousand dollars! If you drop that much on impulse buys, then...well, you probably have enough money to be able to drop that much on an impulse buy.

 

Anyway, the thing that just really ticked me off was the pack of luxury ice "cubes". Each "cube" runs about $5, is perfectly spherical, and made from purified water. Now, I get the spherical thing; they don't melt as quickly, and they look really cool (pardon the pun), but really? $5 for an ice cube? That you could make yourself with a bottle of water and a $16 tray from the Museum of Modern Art (make 4, and you've saved four bucks)? Let's do a little hypothetical math, shall we? Say you had a party with fifteen guests (that's a good-sized party). Each guest had three drinks. That's 45 drinks. If each drink had just one ice cube, you're looking at $225 on ice cubes alone. That's $225 that could have been reallocated to better booze, more food, or maybe even a DJ or live band. Or, God forbid, just left in the bank. If I had a nickle for every ice cube I've used--just this week--my finances would be in much better shape. Now, think if each cube had cost you a fiver?

 

Some people just have more money than sense.