"Honey, Remember To Tip Cogsworth!"

I'm starting to get excited for my trip to Disney! Yes, it is in October. Why do you ask?

Yeah, I know, Thomas and I have both been to Disney more times than we can count (seriously. I have no idea how many times we've each visited), but it's our favorite vacation destination. Of course we do Disney on the cheap, so it's a rare treat to get to a hotel in the park. In fact, we've never stayed on property together, and I've only stayed on property a handful of times, myself. When I had to go to Disney on business (I know, poor, pitiful me. Best. Business. Trip. Ever.) I was put up at Coronado Springs, which was gorgeous, and I highly recommend it, should money be no object. My high school Senior Trip boarded the class, dorm-style, at the All-Star Sports Resort, but the trip was so jam-packed and harried, I barely remember sleeping. In fact, I'm not entirely sure I did...

Anyhoo, the only other time I stayed at a Disney resort was as a kid. I was about fourteen, and my parents booked a cruise on the (now-defunct) Big Red Boat, with a trip to Disney World following. It was, by far, the most extravagant family vacation we ever took. Honestly, I don't know what my parents were thinking. We're not week-long vacation people. We're omigod-I-just-found-leftover-days-on-our-tickets-from-last-year-so-let's-hop-in-the-car-and-camp-at-the-KOA-for-a-weekend people. (This is where I learned to do Disney cheap, folks. I was taught by the best.) But I digress. The package included a stay at the Port Orleans Resort. Naturally, living so near the real French Quarter, we were interested to see the Disney version, and it didn't disappoint. The grounds were the perfect blend of Louisiana architecture and that magical Disney veneer of cleanliness and fantasy. It was beautiful, and I couldn't imagine a more wonderful place to stay.

Had I seen the new Royal Guest Rooms, I'd have likely flipped my sh--you know.

These just came to my attention today (and I seem to be the last to know, of course), and run about $189 per night, which is not bad by Disney resort standards. Not bad, at all. More than I want to pay, of course. (We're not staying here. We're staying at a hotel near Downtown Disney. I can't remember the name, but we found it online for practically nothing. The inside is surprisingly posh, but the outside is beyond tacky, and I've nicknamed it "The Pineapple Under the Sea".)

Now, before I start in on pictures or video, let me tell you the story behind the decor. According to legend (or the hotel management. Whichever), New Orleans-native Princess Tiana (from The Princess and the Frog) has hosted all of the other Disney princesses at this hotel. Being proper guests, they've each gifted Tiana with special momentos, which she has used to decorate your hotel room. See how many you can spot!


Video: zannaland.com

Cute. Very, very cute. Now, for the actual room details. The rooms are decorated in a golds, burgundies, and blues, with "royal" touches throughout. The comforters have a crown motif, with nods to each of the princesses. The Magic Carpet lies on the floor. The Beast's enchanted ottoman is ready for your tired tootsies...you get the idea. Sweet vacation "snapshots" of the princesses having fun are framed around the room, while official-looking silhouettes of the princes hang on the wall. Grownups will enjoy the flat-screen TV, coffee pot, and fridge, and the kiddies will love the Duffy the Disney Bear: Mickey’s New Friend bedtime story that the hotel televises on a loop from 6-10pm. All ages should get a kick out of the fiber-optic "firework" show that "magically" appears on your headboard. There's even a welcome message from Tiana waiting for you when you arrive!

Photo Credit: Mousesteps

All in all, I think this is a ridiculously adorable idea. Is the room tacky as all get-out? Oh, my, yes. Would I ever stay in it? In a heartbeat. It's silly and sweet, and terribly faux-castle-Fantasyland-chic. As a kid, I would have given my right arm to stay there. As an adult, I think it would be a hoot. You don't go to Disney for its sophisticated charm. You go because it makes you feel like a kid. For just a little while, you get to be a Princess, Prince, or Pirate. A 32-year old woman doesn't look weird in a light-up tiara; she looks weird without one. A 29-year old man should be wearing cartoons on his t-shirt and an Indiana Jones fedora on his head. Dinner can come in the form of a Mickey-shaped ice cream, or be served in a restaurant that's been taken over by dinosaurs or computer-generated rats who also happen to be gourmet chefs. Why not let that childhood wonderment carry over into your hotel room? I mean, if you're already paying to stay at Disney, you should be able to stay at Disney.

Now, does anyone know where I can get a royal coupon?