Is That...? Oh, God! *Gasp* NOOO!!! Part III: L'Oreal Youth Code Power Trio

Well, it's been three weeks with the L'Oreal Youth Code Power Trio, and I have what I think are some interesting results. Let's have a look, shall we?

First off, let me mention that I quit using the cleanser, as it didn't work worth a flip, and I also used a pore clearing mask and an exfoliating mask to try to undo the damage. The cleansers that I have used instead have been the Olay makeup removing wipes and the Olay Regenerist exfoliating cream cleanser (which is what I used prior to the L'Oreal). The end.

So, here are week 2 (right) and week 3 (left):

It's very subtle, but there is some change. The skin's texture is smoother, and pores are less pronounced. The crease is still there, and while it's more noticeable in the week 3 picture, it does appear to be shallower. As with last week, these photos were taken in the same room, with the same camera, and the same settings.

For a more dramatic difference, let's compare week 1 (left) with week 3 (right):

Wow. The skin's texture is significantly smoother and brighter, pores are noticeably minimized, and everything seems firmer and lifted. The area around the nose also appears a lot drier, however.

As I've stated, the cleanser didn't actually clean, but it does look like the serum and moisturizer are doing something for me. My thoughts on those products have not changed, and you can read a full run-down on them here. All in all, I've got to call this a win, and I intend to repurchase the serum and moisturizer when I run out of the travel sizes.

Have you guys tried anything like this? Did it work? Please share in the comments.

Is That...? Oh, God! *Gasp* NOOO!!! Part II: L'Oreal Youth Code Power Trio

Okay folks, it's been a week. Let's check in and see if the L'Oreal Youth Code Power Trio has made any progress on my wrinkle-ette. You can find my first impressions from last week here.

On the left, we have a photo taken last Monday. On the right, we have a photo taken today. The crease in question is the faint marionette line. Personally, I think it may have lightened some. It doesn't appear to be quite as pronounced in the second photo as it is in the first. It's not gone, but it appears to be better. My skin's tone and texture also seems to have improved, with increased brightness and a firmer appearance. Pore size looks about the same. Lastly, my skin feels noticeably softer. Photographs were taken in the same room, with the same lighting, by the same camera, with the same settings. Positioning is as close to the same as I could manage, and no makeup or products were on the skin at the time. I'm trying to be scientific, y'all.

For the past week, I've solely used the L'Oreal. I've washed my face with the cleanser, applied the serum, and followed with the moisturizer twice a day, religiously. No other skincare products were used, save for a few makeup remover wipes of various brands, but more on that in a minute. Based on the results above, I can definitely see where its claims have merit.

Now, for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good: The products are seemingly effective, thus far. All three of the products have pleasant fragrances and textures. The price point is affordable and the product is readily available at Walgreen's and Ulta. The trial sizes are large enough to get a good idea of its effectiveness. I've used this for a week, and have at least another week's worth left.

The Bad: The cleanser just flat-out doesn't work. To prove this, I give you Exhibit A, a Yes To Grapefruit facial wipe used after cleansing with the L'Oreal:

That's not clean, y'all. In addition to the eye makeup (which I kind of expected), there's also face makeup. I don't wear much face makeup (mostly BB creams or powder foundation), so there wasn't much there to remove in the first place.

I also don't feel like the moisturizer hydrates very well. I've experienced some dryness around the nose, and noticed a dull cast once my makeup was applied. My makeup hasn't changed, so I feel the need to attribute that to the product.

The Ugly: I broke out. Not much, and nothing a little spot treatment couldn't fix, but I did break out. Normally, my skin stays pretty clear unless it's that lovely time when we'd all like to sing a rousing chorus of "I Enjoy Being a Girl". This wasn't that time. I shouldn't have broken out.

Overall, I really do like this set. I think that it did what it said it would, and I have every intention of purchasing the full sizes of the serum and moisturizer. I will not, however, use the cleanser anymore. I need something that deep cleans and exfoliates, though I do wonder if the L'Oreal would work better with a Clarisonic. I will also, most likely, mix a little argan oil into the moisturizer to boost the hydration level. For now, I'm chalking up the breakouts to the lack of actual cleansing from the cleanser.

Tune in next week for the dramatic conclusion!

Is That...? Oh, God! *Gasp* NOOO!!!: L'Oreal Youth Code Power Trio

Short version: over this weekend I have A) been told outright, by someone who is not related by blood, marriage, or even close friendship, that I am "fat", and B) found a wrinkle that seems to come equipped with an Invisibility Cloak, because it appears I'm the only one who can see it.

Considering the fact that I'm fat in the way that Jennifer Lawrence has been labeled fat (read: not at all. Curvy, yes, but in the right places, thankfully. Don't get me started on that business with the gorgeous J-Law.), and I've actually lost weight recently, I'm trying to let that first part slide. Besides, if their judgement tells them that it's acceptable to tell someone that (as a greeting, no less), then how good can their judgement really be?

The "wrinkle", on the other hand, is a different story. Yesterday morning, I found it, and was...let's call it upset. I showed it to Thomas, who leaned over, squinted hard, then chuckled and told me there was nothing there. He was sweet enough to go with me to Walgreen's, and even helped me search through the rows of pink and green gunk, shining silver labels, and empty promises until I found something that might help me reverse my, most likely, imaginary line.

See it? The little marionette line? Grrrrrrr!

Seeing as this line is in it's infancy, it seemed like a good candidate for the "see results in one week" claim on this set from L'Oreal Paris. The Youth Code Power Trio Kit contains a cleanser, serum, and moisturizer that are all used both morning and evening. According to the box, this is supposed to reduce fine lines and smooth and illuminate the skin. It was on sale, and I had five bucks in rewards, so I figured I'd give it a go.

I've used the three products twice each now, so all I have for you are first impressions, but I thought I'd share them.

Cleanser: This is a clear gel that smells like Rose Petal Place. Personally, I like that smell, but if you have any sensitivity to perfumes, you might want to skip this trio entirely. I feel like the cleanser does a fine job of ridding my face of dirt, but you definitely need a separate makeup remover. My eye makeup didn't budge with this cleanser alone.

Serum: I like serums. No idea why, but I always feel sort of fancy putting on a *serum*--like it's some sort of spiffy, super-scientific potion that will make my skin glow and dance and, I don't know, spin plates. Again, this is a gel, but slightly cloudier than the cleanser. I only need one pump for my face and neck, because it feels almost like it multiplies as you apply it. It's very slimy, but in a good way, if that makes any sense. It's a good slime. Like Slimer in the Ghostbusters cartoon. Not the movie (definitely not the movie). Oddly enough, the finish is dry. It's...it's just very strange. I'm intrigued. There is a fragrance, but it's not the same as the cleanser, and I can't quite pinpoint what it is. It's not unpleasant, but it is perfumed.

Moisturizer: The moisturizer is, again, perfumed, and with the same mystery scent as the serum. Also, like the serum, it has a dry finish, which is odd for a moisturizer. The texture is somewhere between a cream and a mousse, and very light. I'm enjoying it, so far, but I don't feel I'm getting quite as much hydration as I need.

Will this reverse my wrinkle-ette? We'll find out in a week! Let me know in the comments if you've had any luck with stuff like this.   

The Ballad of the Third-Life Crisis: Olay Total Effects 7 Cleansing Cloth Review

Photo Credit: Drugstore.com

You know how I said, last week, that I was switching to Olay Total Effects 7 Cleansing Cloths? Yeah...well, forget about that. I'm going back to my beloved Neutrogena, and apologizing for ever doubting it.

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up: They kinda suck.

My skin, here lately, has been looking a little rough. I have moisturized. I have exfoliated. I have used retinol and vitamin C, and pretty much any other sh--um, crud you could think of. In retrospect, it's probably just this diet I've been on, and the fact that I have lost some weight in my face (yay!), coupled with gas heat and Winter dryness. However, at the time I noticed my skin's dullness, I was in the throws of, well, what you might call a "third-life crisis". I'll be 32 in a few months, my baby brother starts high school in the Fall, and what have I done with my life? (Actually, way more than I've had any right to, and I'm grateful for all of it. Unfortunately, in the midst of a third-life crisis, temporary amnesia sets in. Who knew?) Why, I'm gonna be forty! Someday! Yes, I was being completely stupid, but at the time, all I could think was, "I'm so old! I must have anti-aging products...STAT!"

So, out with the Neutrogena wipes, in with the Olay.

The first night I used the Olay, I had barely any makeup on. I'd done an at-home facial, and wanted to let my skin breathe, so I used a light mineral foundation and not much else. When I looked down at the used wipe, there wasn't much in the way of removed makeup on it, but why would there be? I slathered on some moisturizer and eye cream and went to bed.

The next morning, my skin looked gorgeous. Everything was even and glowing, and I looked like I was wearing makeup! I just brushed on a little mineral foundation and hopped out the door. These wipes were the bomb!

That night, I noticed two sides to the Olay wipe. One side was smooth, for removing makeup, and the other was textured for a deeper clean and mild exfoliation. Could these wipes get any better?! Again, there wasn't much on the used cloth, but I'd only worn a little makeup. There wasn't much to remove to begin with, and my skin looked utterly amazing...

...until the next morning, when I noticed some teeny tiny breakouts. Well, they were probably from the facial. That's to be expected when you draw out the bad stuff, right? I had to sing a couple of weddings that day, so I used a heavier foundation for extra camouflage. The thing was, that night, when I used the Olay wipe, I noticed that there still wasn't much on the wipe--not even on the textured side. Oh, Dear God...

That's when I realized that my skin hadn't been glowing from the anti-aging benefits of the cleansing cloths. Nope. I looked like I was wearing makeup because I was wearing makeup! By this time, the eensy-weensy breakouts were looking more and more like full-on blackheads and cystic acne. Not to gross you out, but my cheek had a blackhead so large and dark that it looked like I'd drawn it on with a felt-tip pen. I quickly grabbed a Neutrogena wipe and ran it over my face. To my horror, it became completely coated in makeup. Holy Hand Grenade, Batman!

The good news is that I figured out the problem quickly, and through thorough cleansing, exfoliation, and some awesome salicylic acid, my skin has almost completely recovered. Luckily, I only used the cloths at night, and scrubbed my face with a "real" face wash and brush during my morning showers. Otherwise, who knows how much damage would have been done.

Final Verdict: 0 out of 10. Don't even use these to clean your countertops.

Frugal Friday, Plus This Too Faced Stuff Is Da "Balm"!

*Editor's Note: The author apologizes for the horrible title. She couldn't help herself. Trust that she is truly humiliated. Thank you.

Today's Frugal Friday Deals!

Smashbox: Free FULL-SIZED Photo Finish Lid Primer with any order of $65 or more. Offer expires at 2pm PT today! Use code EYEPRIME at checkout.

Old Navy: Use code ONEXTRA15 to take 15% off your entire purchase. Ends at midnight tonight. (Everyday Steals and Jeans not included)

Bath and Body Works: Take an extra 20% off your purchase with code ENJOY20. A printable coupon is also available for in-store savings. Expires 2/26/12.

Photo Credit: Too Faced

This is February, right? I didn't skip forward to May, or anything like that, did I? I ask, because the temperature was in the seventies this morning. Yesterday, I wore flip-flops, and the humidity was so high I didn't even bother fully drying my hair. There was no point, since it was just going to look damp and frizzy no matter what I did to it.

Makeup, schmakeup. When the weather's like this, all you can do is slap on some waterproof mascara and lip balm, then say a prayer and hope for the best.

The thing is, I would like to make it through the day without traumatizing small children. I don't want them to point, then run screaming to their mothers. I needed something just to even out my skin and give my eyeshadow and blush a base to stick to. My tinted moisturizer decided to turn orange on me, so that was no good, and foundation is flat-out too heavy for this humidity. It would melt right off my face, but only after clogging all my pores. No, thank you. This left me standing in my JCPenney's teeny-tiny Sephora with very few choices and absolutely no clue. Thankfully, between the online reviews I found with my smartphone (greatest invention ever) and the incredibly helpful salesperson, I realized what I needed was a beauty balm, and that Too Faced's version might be my best bet. The salesperson even color-matched me, which was beyond appreciated. I'm terrible at colormatching myself. I can help other people, but for some reason, I fancy myself about two shades darker than I actually am. Call it wishful thinking...anyhoo, moving on.

Here's what Ulta has to say about it (I know, I got it at Sephora, but I'm all for giving folks options):

Instantly impart a healthy glow and improve skin's appearance with sheer luminosity and a concealing, buildable tint. Soothing, oil-free moisture, antioxidants and SPF protection help to improve skin's condition and prevent future damage. This super-advanced, multi-benefit time saver from Too Faced streamlines your routine, giving you 'better than real' skin in just one step!
Enhance: Ideal balance of exceptional, buildable color, sheer texture, and light diffusion for a flawless-looking complexion.
Perfect: Minimize fine lines and wrinkles to create a smooth canvas for a more youthful appearance.
Nourish: Oil-free moisturizers condition and hydrate while chamomile extract soothes.
Protect: Antioxidant vitamins A & E, Ginseng Root and Ginko Biloba fight free radical damage and protect skin's integrity.
Prevent: Contains a non-chemical SPF 20 UVA/UVB multi-mineral sunscreen to prevent premature aging.

This sounded like exactly what I needed. I got the moisturizer I originally wanted, but with a slightly heavier consistency for better coverage (which, let's face it, I need. I am *shudder* over thirty...). I don't really have any fine lines, and my only wrinkles are on my forehead, but I'll take any and all help in keeping those at bay. SPF is a must, and I'm loving that the product is full of vitamins and antioxidants. Anything that could keep me from turning into a prune is more than welcome on my face. I've now had a few days to live with the product, so let's break it down, shall we?

Packaging: The product comes in an iridescent blush, beautifully decorated, hygienic squeeze tube. The cap screws onto the bottom of the tube, allowing the product to stay near the applicator for easiest access and least amount of waste. It also looks precious on my counter. 10 out of 10.

Application: I apply this by squeezing a small amount onto the back of my hand, then using a Real Techniques (review to come) foundation brush to work the product into my skin. You could also use your hands, though, if you were in a hurry or didn't have an available brush. Either way, the product applies quickly and effortlessly. 10 out of 10.

Appearance: The nice lady who colormatched me sent me home with Vanilla Glow. This is the lightest of the only four colors available: Cream Glow, Nude Glow, and Beach Glow. Vanilla matches my skin tone perfectly, but I'm not sure if that's because these colors are so sheer that they'll blend with a wide range of tones, or if I just got lucky. I recommend you try this on first, just to be sure. I found that the product was sheer enough for skin to show through, but still provided a reasonable amount of coverage. Honestly, I looked as polished as I normally would with a foundation, but didn't really look like I was wearing foundation. I just looked like I had really good skin. Concealer was necessary for under the eyes and to cover a little redness around my nose and chin, but that's the norm for me, even with heavy foundation. These are named "Glow" for a reason, though. While I didn't find this to be as shimmery as a few user reviews pointed out, there are light-reflecting pigments, which keep this from having a matte finish. I would call it "dewy", which is nice. I dusted a little powder over the top and was good to go. 9 out of 10.

Wear: I was shocked. Even in this crazy humidity, with the product already being "dewy", I've only had to do minor powder touch-ups around the 8 or 9 hour mark, with a quick blotting around hour 6 or 7. That's pretty darn impressive. 9 out of 10.

Price: This seems to be universally priced at $32. Believe it or not, that's on the lowest end of the specialty brand beauty balm spectrum (and I haven't found any drugstore brands), and it's toward the lower middle of the specialty store tinted moisturizer scale. You get 1.5 oz., which is pretty standard. Yes, there are cheaper drugstore brands for tinted moisturizer, but if you're looking for a beauty balm, this is not a bad deal at all. 9 out of 10.

Final Verdict: 9.4 out of 10. Nice coverage, decent wear. I have absolutely no complaints, and for what it is, you can't beat the price. Seriously. I tried.

How Cindy Crawford Killed My Mojo: An Utterly Pointless Rant

Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time again for one of your favorite Adorable Napalm segments: The Rant.

This is not something I do often. In fact, out of 248 posts, this is only the fifth time I've felt compelled to rant and rave. That little fact actually surprised me. I was sure I carried on a lot more than that. Hmmm...

You see, when I get ready for work in the mornings, I like to leave the television on in my bedroom (don't judge me. I like the noise). Unfortunately, I don't have cable on that set, and the digital converter box and ridiculously over-priced antenna only pick up one channel consistently. That channel, dear friends, shows only infomercials for the better part of the morning. Oh, joy.

But that's not why I'm ranting. Oh, no. Nor am I complaining that they show the same five informercials in rotation, or that the station sometimes shows the same one twice in a row. No, sirreebob. I can deal with all that. What I cannot deal with is the idea that Cindy Crawford is old.

Yeah, I'll give you a second to recover from that. You just take a moment while I reset the needle that came screeching off of that record. Better now? Good. Let's continue.

Cindy Crawford is the spokesperson for Meaningful Beauty, an anti-aging skin care system created by Dr. Jean-Louis Sebagh. This infomercial airs about twice a week, give or take, and it's been grating on my nerves since its first transmission.

Before I fully dive into this rant, let me explain a few details:

1. This is not a review of Meaningful Beauty. I have never tried any of the products, so I have no idea if they work or not, nor, if I'm being totally honest, do I really care.
2. I am not against anti-aging skin products of any type. Quite the opposite, actually. I am an advocate of responsible skin care, and use anti-aging products on a daily basis.
3. I understand that the point of the informercial is to make you feel like you have to buy the product or you'll look old and your life will suck.
4. Cindy Crawford is not old. At the taping of the infomercial, she was 43 years of age.

Now that that's cleared up, we may begin.

Where in the bloody blue blazes do these people get off calling Cindy Crawford old?!?! Okay, so maybe 49 year-old host Valerie Bertinelli doesn't come right out and use the word "old" (which would be hypocritical), but it's more than implied by the awed gasps and looks of sheer wonderment when her age is revealed. Dear God, they act like the woman is the freaking cryptkeeper.

Forty-three is not old. It's barely middle-aged.

I know, this is an infomercial to sell anti-aging products. It's in the best interest of marketing to make it sound like their genetically-blessed supermodel spokesperson should be on Social Security. Really, it reminds me of some advice a friend gave me once: Lie up. Never lie that you're younger than you actually are. Lie that you're older. That way, people think you look amazing for your age. Obviously, the company can't lie about Cindy Crawford's age because it's way too easy to find out the truth (thanks, Internets). What they can do is ooh and aah over someone looking so young at such an advanced age.

How demoralizing is that?! This is beyond manipulative. It's downright evil. Cindy Crawford is so genetically-blessed, she's practically mutant. If she needs this stuff at forty-three, how is a forty-four year old average Jane supposed to compete?

But this rant is not just about this infomercial. That's just a symptom of the bigger problem that is our culture's obsession with youth. American Idol now allows 15 year-olds to enter, and cuts off at age twenty-eight. The most recent winner was only seventeen. The Metropolitan Opera competition lowered its max age to thirty. As a singer, I cringe at these numbers. A woman's voice doesn't mature until she's well into her thirties, which makes cutting off an opera competition at thirty seem utterly ludicrous to me. As for AI...well, I could say a lot, but I won't. What I will say is that it came at no surprise to me that one of the finalists oversang to the point that she blew out her voice and had to have a doctor come onstage and explain her vocal fatigue to the audience. I'm not saying you can't be phenomenal at so young an age, but the training and technique that only comes with years of study just isn't there, and you need that to pull off that level and intensity of rehearsal and performance. With acting...well, you can never be too young, right?

But it's not just the performing arts, and that's what has me freaking out. According to CareerBuilder (via MSN), the average length of unemployment for job seekers age 16-24 in 2009 was 19.9 weeks. Ages 25-54 had to pound the pavement for 25.3 weeks, while those 55 and older were out of work a staggering 29.5 weeks. The gist of their advice: look younger.

Folks, words fail me.

I really wanted to end this on a positive note. I wanted to rise up and defiantly proclaim that I will not let society dictate my place in this world based on my age or how I look; that I will be true to myself, and my experience and wisdom will triumph over adversity, but I can't.

I will say that as long as Lady Clairol makes hair dye, I will remain a gray-less redhead--not because it makes me look younger, but because I like it; that I use my anti-aging products not because I don't want to look my age, but because I want to have clear, pretty skin well into my golden years. However, I have to admit I think it's a kick when someone is surprised by my actual age. I adore getting carded. I also have to give into the craze a little bit because I'm an actor, and it's part of the biz.

I have no ending for this. I suspect that's partially because it is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it. That, right there, makes me crazy. All I can do at this point is stop typing.

The Price of Convenience: Philosophy Hope In a Tinted Moisturizer

Photo Credit: Sephora

I did not want to like this. Not at all. Thirty-eight dollars for tinted moisturizer is highway robbery, no matter how fabulous it claims to be. And it is fabulous, no question about it. Oh, I really did not want to like this, and now I am in a quandary.

You see, when I placed my Sephora order for Mom's Mother's Day gift (I got her one of those sunscreen kits, since she would live by the pool, if it were possible), I had the option to try a deluxe sample of Philosophy Hope In a Tinted Moisturizer. I've been on the hunt for a good tinted moisturizer to get me through the Summer, so I figured, "why not?" I've all but replaced my Benefit Some Kinda Gorgeous with CoverGirl NatureLuxe (I know! It's drugstore! How could it be better than Benefit?! It just is, and I love it), but it's still a little heavy for 90+ degree, humidity-laden days, especially if you put it on over an anti-aging moisturizer and a primer--even a light one (SPF is built in, thank God. One more layer might kill me). I used to be a Stila tinted moisturizer devotee, but they changed the formula and I haven't had a chance to try the new product. So, basically, I'm at square one. I've used Hope in a Jar before, and had great success with it after a long, drying, cross-country flight. I also knew that I could use this in place of my normal anti-aging moisturizer without losing any benefits. I just had no idea the Philosophy was thirty-eight freaking dollars. Oh, how I wish I'd known...

Anyhoo, the Light to Medium sample came in, and I was able to give it a good go yesterday. I had errands, then work, then I went power walking for a couple of miles outside in the unforgiving heat and humidity. Just for extra fun, I left off all primers, too. I'm evil like that.

First off, I cringed when I first saw some of the actual product. It looked orange! I actually started humming "Oompa-Loompa Doopity Doo". Adventurer that I am, though, I patted the moisturizer on. I patted because this is a fairly dry moisturizer, and if you try to smooth it on, you end up pulling your skin. This does not mean it isn't hydrating! It just means that you won't end up with a greasy face, which is good. Amazingly, the orange disappeared, and the color blended perfectly with my skin tone. Aside from an even complexion, I couldn't tell I had anything on. This is also good. If I had to complain about anything, my skin looked a little dull. More on that later.

I applied the rest of my makeup as usual, and went about my day. I did notice, about mid-day, that my eyeshadow creased a tad, but was easily smoothed out. After my walk, I fully expected to have no makeup left (at best) or look like Tammy Faye Bakker (at worst), but was delighted to note that my makeup looked okay. It wasn't fresh as a daisy, but it had stayed put.

This morning, I did the same thing, but went ahead and used eyeshadow primer. I also took a very small amount of my Benefit That Gal Brightening Primer and patted it on top of my moisturizer. This added a lovely glow that took care of the dullness, without smearing an entire layer of goop on my face.

So, in a nutshell, you can skip the sunscreen and anti-aging moisturizer and still reap the benefits. I had luck without primer, so you may be able to skip that, too. This product works to make your skin better than it was before you put it on. Technically, it's the same price as a slightly larger tub of Hope In a Jar with SPF 25, but I still think the price is excessive.

Final Verdict: 8 out of 10. It's a great product that definitely saves you steps in the morning. It's just too darn expensive.   

Younger Than Springtime, Am I? PTR Instant FIRMx, Part the Second



Photo Credit: Sephora

 To recap, I had an audition on Monday. I found a wrinkle the Friday before. Hilarity ensued.

I bought a bottle of Peter Thomas Roth's Instant FIRMx on the recommendation of the Sephora associates. Then, I spent the next several days trying to figure out how in the heck to use the stuff. The audition came and went (for those interested, it went well, and I have no reason to blame myself should I not get the part. I'll know something in a couple of weeks, either way. Moving on), with me still trying to make this gel work. You're all caught up, now. Let's continue.

Tuesday morning, I decided to take no chances. I washed and dried my face. Then, I applied the gel and waited forever for it to dry. I gave it about ten minutes, as opposed to the 3-7 minutes the directions suggested. I waited for white residue, and never saw any. So far, so good.

The next directed step was to splash some water on my face and pat dry with a towel. Supposedly, as my face finished air-drying, I would feel a tightness to let me know the gel was working. Yeah, okay, I'll give it that. I felt a very slight tightening. Honestly, I can't fully say I didn't imagine it. This step took another ten minutes. We're up to twenty, for those of you keeping score, and I haven't put on a single drop of makeup, yet. Goodie.

At this point, I get out my handy dandy brush and, very lightly, sweep on some liquid foundation, taking extra care on the forehead and around my eyes. I followed that up by applying moisturizer in the same way (with the same brush, actually). After all that care, time, and attention, guess what: I still had lines on my forehead and around my eyes! Granted, they're not horrible, but they weren't bad to begin with, so, effectively, there's no change! I applied the rest of my makeup as usual and called it a day. The product does work as a fairly decent primer, but my skin feels like it's suffocating. I'm not exactly a happy camper.

So, here's what I'm taking away from this: I'm not wrinkly enough for this stuff to work. I'm not saying it doesn't work. In fact, there are loads of Golden Girls on the Sephora website who rave over this product. What I am saying is that I think you have to be in much worse shape than I am currently to experience dramatic results. I'm hanging onto this bottle, though, for a little extra insurance on special occasions, or to perk me up after a late night.

Final Verdict: If you don't qualify for cheap coffee at McDonald's or discount movie tickets, you can probably skip this. 3 out of 10.

If I Could Save Time In a Bottle

The fun part about auditioning (well, one the many "fun" parts) is hiding your flaws. Chances are, should you get the part, once you get on set there'll be a makeup artist whose sole purpose in life is making you pretty. Darn shame they don't come to auditions. Now, admittedly, I don't look my age. In fact, I haven't changed my age range on my resume, yet. It still says, "Young Adult, 18-29." I'll be 31 in four and a half weeks, and still get carded. Someone, recently, saw my wedding ring and asked how long I'd been married. I told them three years, and their jaw dropped. I just laughed and joked that I was a child bride (I was 27!), and they told me it was just wonderful that I found love at such an early age. But I digress. Point is, I look young.

But not that young. Friday morning, as I got ready for work, I noticed...a wrinkle. Well, more like a line. Actually, upon reflection, it might have just been a shadow. In any case, it freaked me out but good, and I hit Sephora running. I had to fix this, and quick!

The very sweet and knowledgeable associates suggested Peter Thomas Roth Instant FIRMx ($48, Sephora). That's a little more than I would normally go for a product without either trying a sample or reading a ton of reviews, but time was short and I was desperate. I paid for it and headed on to work.

Here's what Sephora has to say about the product:

A fast acting formula, this prodcut instantly tightens, firms, and smoothes the appearance of fine lines and deep wrinkles so skin looks years younger, all day long. Its remarkable formula effortlessly erases skin creases, including on the forehead, crow's feet, and laugh lines. Active firming agents remain on the skin, virtually rewinding the clock as they temporarily tighten problem areas.

-Shake well. Sparingly apply a thin (mask-like) layer onto freshly cleansed, dry skin.


-Remain expressionless. Product will dry within three to seven minutes.

-When face feels pulled and tight, look in the mirror. At this moment, you'll look years younger.

-Splash skin with water until product is no longer visible. If any residue remains, use wet fingertips to gently remove.

-Using a towel, gently pat skin dry but do not rub. As skin dries, you will feel a subtle firming that will last all day.

-Continue with your usual skin care routine. Instant FIRMx can be used before treatments, moisturizers and makeup, or alone.

In other words, this is a quick fix, and is not intended to prevent or repair signs of aging. When it's on, you look younger. When you wash it off, you look as nature intended.

Photo Credit: Sephora (read: this is not me!!!!)

So, the next morning, I read the directions, and tried to apply the product. And failed. Miserably. See, I'd already put on some moisturizer, so when I tried to smooth on this gel, it simply balled up on my skin. Okay, no problem. User Error. I washed my face, dried it, and started over.

This time, there was no problem. I smoothed on the gel and remained emotionless for about five minutes, to give it time to dry. I didn't notice any white residue (and I was about to put makeup over it, anyway) so I didn't splash my face with water. My skin looked amazing. Even my forehead wrinkles were gone. I couldn't have been more thrilled...until I applied my foundation and all my wrinkles showed right back up.

Yep. They're ba-ack! I went ahead and finished my makeup, then applied a little bit more of the gel to my forehead wrinkles and around my eyes. There! I fixed it!

I then spent the rest of the day trying to get rid of white residue. Awesome. But, the wrinkles were better, so I guess it's a trade-off.

Then, Sunday, I gave it another shot. This time, I remembered to rinse before applying my foundation...and it all came off. I finished my makeup, added a little on top of it, and spent the rest of the day getting rid of residue, and getting slightly more perturbed.

So, Monday--the day of my freaking audition--I took another reviewer's advice, and mixed it with my makeup in equal parts, and that seemed to work better. Of course, I still had to put a little more on top, because it's downright impossible to apply eyemakeup without raising your eyebrows and wrinkling your forehead. I wet my fingers and tapped around my forehead to try to ward off residue. It helped, but I made sure I went a little heavy on the bronzer in that area.

I don't want to give up on this, because I really think it could work. My next attempt will involve doing my eye makeup first, then applying the gel/foundation mixture, or possibly using an inexpensive airbrush formula from the drugstore. I'll keep you posted.

Final Verdict: The jury's still out.

Fairytale Results: Philosophy Help Me

For today's product review, I'd like to tell you a story.

Once upon a time (okay, last Monday), there was a beautiful (humor me) and graceful (seriously, just go with it) princess (don't make me keep doing this). The beautiful, graceful princess ventured forth into a wonderous, magical land of enchantment. The land was called Sephora. You see, the princess was in dire need of a fantastical serum, as she was lately of a "certain age", and the flower of her youth was beginning to wilt...

Oh, dear God, how did the Grimms do it?! Okay, non-fairytale version:

Went to Sephora. Saw a tube that appeared to be asking for assistance. Asked the fabulous salesperson (my new fairy godmother) what was up with that, and she sent me home with an insanely huge sample.

Philosophy Help Me ($45, Sephora) is a night cream with a ridiculous amount of retinol. According to Sephora:

"This winner of Allure magazine's editor's choice "Best of Beauty" award for best antiaging treatment helps keep pores clean and minimized, reduces wrinkles and discoloration, and boosts tone and firmness. It delivers the key ingredient, retinol, through encapsulated microsponge technology, which offers stability for gradual release into the skin. The time-release innovation, along with a soothing dose of bisabolol, increases efficacy and helps prevent irritation."

So, I applied the product Monday night with zero expectations, which was just as well, as there were zero results Tuesday morning. I'd been warned that I might experience some irritation, and to make sure I slathered on sunscreen before going outside.

Nope.

No redness, no breakout, no anything. Also, no sunscreen. Oops. I thought I had some, but was apparently mistaken. I did pick some up that...Wednesday...

So, Tuesday night I applied another dose. Now, I'd been told I might want to only use it every other day, but since I'd had no problems, went ahead and gave it another shot. Wednesday morning--nothing.

Wednesday night, I used the Philosophy again (let me just say that Thomas looooved seeing a small container with "Help Me" handwritten on the lid, staring up at him from the bathroom counter, like something from an even more twisted Alice In Wonderland). This time, I did notice a slight, fairly pleasant warmth. Thursday morning, I kid you not, I did not want to put on makeup. My skin looked a-mazing! My pores were practically gone. The wrinkles on my forehead were visibly lighter, and the Winter dullness was now bright and refreshed.

This stuff rocked.

So, used it again Thursday night, and my Mom came over Friday morning. Now, my Mom thinks I'm gorgeous (she's my Mom. She has to), and always tells me so, but this morning was different. In the most genuine, almost dumbfounded tone, she told me that she thought I'd actually gotten prettier since she'd last seen me.

I bought a tube that day. Spending $45 on face cream was painful, but this stuff is worth it.

It is now Sunday night, and I am sitting on the couch, wearing zero makeup. Honestly, I think I look better than I did with makeup on today. I don't have a single blemish, my pores are tiny and clear, and my skin has never been more even. I cannot recommend this product enough. Proceed with caution, as some people do experience irritation or breakouts because the amount of retinol, but please, proceed.

Final verdict: 11 out of 10. Does what it says, and does it well. 

Great Rack You Got There

This morning, I laid out the most beautiful steaks to cook for dinner tonight. As I have mentioned, I'm a horrible cook, but these were too pretty to pass up. As I was setting the frozen beauties on the counter, I thought, "oh, a nice glass of wine would be fabulous with these!" Then, I looked over to the wine rack in the corner of the dining room, and noticed that it was completely and totally empty. The horror!

Okay, so there's actually no horror. It stays empty. It's the cutest little wine bottle-shaped metal wine rack, and I think it's held a grand total of two bottles of wine in the three years we've had it. I have a tendency to just transfer the bottles from the bag straight into the fridge. Oops. However, there was nothing in the fridge, so I had no choice but to hope that the wine fairy might have left a bottle in the rack. No such luck.

Not a problem. I live across the street from a big box store with a grocery section, so I drove 30 seconds, picked up a bottle (no, I won't tell you what because it doesn't technically go with steak, and it's embarrassing. Let's just leave it with the fact that I don't like red wine. At all), got carded (yay!), and went back home. Then, I shoved the bottle in the fridge. *Sigh* When will I learn? Next time, I'll pick up two bottles, so one has to go in the rack. Seriously, there is nothing sadder than an empty wine rack.

Of course, if I had this wine rack, I doubt I'd have any problem keeping it filled, if only to have a reason to play with it! RFID technology (method of automatic indentification, using tags or transponders to remotely store and retrieve data) organizes your bottles with ambience-enhancing color-coded lights. Plus, your collection can be accessed and monitored from your computer, even if it's kept in an off-property location, like a storage locker.

Photo Credit: geeksugar

So, for the past month or so, I've been giving Olay Total Effects Daily Moisturizer a whirl. I liked the stuff I'd been using, but ran out and couldn't find any more, so the switch was necessary, but with reluctance. Now, I'm nearing the end of the bottle, and have to decide whether to continue with this, or see about finding something else.

As of right now, I'm planning to continue with this, and I'll tell you why: It works. Plain and simple. There's a reason the brand has been around for ages.

When I started using this, I had deep creases beginning to form on my forehead and chest. I tried wrinkle filler (spackle)--a joke. I tried a serum, and it may have lightened the creases, or it may have just diffused the light around the area. I really couldn't tell you for sure. In any case, it wasn't enough of a difference to document. This morning, after several weeks of using the Olay, I noticed that my forehead wrinkles were significantly lighter. They're still there, but I don't feel like I have to wear my bangs "just so" to cover them. I also had to actually search to try to find the wrinkles on my chest. These were deep enough that I tried filler on them, folks, and now I can't find them. If that's not proof, I don't know what is.

Yes, this stuff is heavy, and yes, the perfume smell is a little much (though, it does come unscented, now), but you know what, I can deal with it if it reverses damage to this extent. If you're on the hunt for wrinkle relief, this is one worth trying. $18.99, Target.

You Want Me To Put WHAT On My Face?

Wrinkles terrify me.  As I've mentioned, I just hit the big 3-0, and it's really affected me.  It's a little silly, since I don't have a single line, but I'd like to keep it that way.  I've started being really careful of the makeup I use;  I make sure that my face wash is exfoliating, and I moisturize like crazy.  Purifying masks are my new best friend, even though the green ones really confuse my parakeets.  I never cared before, but now, if it's anti-aging, it's by my sink.

This, however, may be going a bit too far:

Photo by Japantrendshop

These are the Mejikara Anti-Wrinkle Glasses Anti-Aging Goggles.  $48, japantrendshop.com.  I wish I were kidding, but you can't make this stuff up, folks. 

According to the site:

On the inside of the Mejikara there are specially-designed ridges which massage and help your skin. It puts gentle pressure on the skin and pushes those sagging eyes back up to where they once were!

Apparently, you wear this for five minutes a day, and wrinkles magically disappear (or, at least, improve)!  Yep, and I have some swamp land in Florida, if you're interested.

I don't know.  I haven't tried them, so they could work, I guess, but I'm not forking over $48 for what looks like a lens-less version of my little brothers swim goggles, which came from the dollar store, by the way.  Yes, my clay masks make me look like Elphaba, but most of the time Thomas wears one, too, so we look silly together.  I'm not sure I could keep a straight face with this thing on.  My opinion:  you're better off with a good skincare routine and a bottle of concealer. 

Alrighty, today's trip to the magic bag o' samples brought out Viktor & Rolf's Flowerbomb Eau de Parfum.  $22-$100, Sephora.com.  This is reader magnolia's fave, so I was really excited to get to try it out, and I have to say, it's delicious.

This is another sweet scent, so be ye warned.  According to Sephora:

This floral explosion releases a profusion of flowers that has the power to make everything seem more positive. Magically evocative notes immediately awaken your deepest senses, giving you the impression of living life in your own secret garden, away from reality. Sambac Jasmine, Centifolia Rose, Cattleya Orchid, and Ballerina Freesia bloom on a base of Patchouli.

Doesn't Ballerina Freesia just scream "girly"?!  This is a fresh, feminine scent, very reminiscent of baby powder.  I'm betting there's some amber or vanilla in there they're not telling us about.

Now, funny thing about this.  It's eerily similar to the perfume I wore on my wedding day.  I spent weeks, possibly months, agonizing over what scent I was going to wear when I got married.  Your sense of smell is so closely linked to memory, that I wanted just the perfect perfume to help me capture all the memories of that day, and something that would smell wonderful so that when it triggered those memories it would all be sweet and lovey-dovey, and not leave me connecting my wedding with, oh, say...dead fish, or something like that.  It seems silly, but every time I smell anything that's even remotely close to my wedding perfume, I think of that day and smile.

Anyway, I digress.  Before the wedding, I went to every store imaginable, and tried on every scent I could find.  I had spritzers and sample cards (and a hellacious headache), and finally settled on the. perfect. scent.  I didn't know what it was (I'd just grabbed a bottle and sprayed), and when I found the label, I cracked up.  Seriously.  I'm surprised the nice people at Kohl's didn't call security.  The scent:  With Love, Hilary Duff.

Now, here I am, 27 years old, about to get married, and what perfume do I pick?  Chanel?  Dior?  No.  Hilary freaking Duff.  What's worse, I'd worked for the Mouse's radio station during the golden age of her tv show, Lizzie Maguire.  There were pictures of Hilary Duff all over the office, frisbees with her face on them in the prize closet, and her voice on the radio almost 24/7 (she alternated with Lindsay Lohan.  I now know what my version of Hell will be, and I promise to be good).

The thing is, it smelled heavenly.  According to Kohl's, the fragrance is comprised of:

Top notes: succulent mangosteen fruit and exotic spices.

Middle notes: blossoms and cocobolo wood.
Base notes: deep amber milk and sultry amber musk.  

Obviously, they're not clones, but there are definite similarities to Flowerbomb.  It's also in the most adorable, faceted bottle that almost looks like a jewel, so it's not embarrassing to have out on my dresser.  It's sophisticated without being stuffy, and was just what I wanted for my big day:  innocence, youth, and girliness, but combined with a grown-up elegance.  Kind of funny, coming from a teeny-bopper pop star, but it did the trick.  One more thing--at $25 for 1oz (kohls.com), it's a budget-friendly alternative to the Viktor & Rolf, and who doesn't like saving money?  Then again, maybe that's just me showing my age.