You Want Me To Put WHAT On My Face?

Wrinkles terrify me.  As I've mentioned, I just hit the big 3-0, and it's really affected me.  It's a little silly, since I don't have a single line, but I'd like to keep it that way.  I've started being really careful of the makeup I use;  I make sure that my face wash is exfoliating, and I moisturize like crazy.  Purifying masks are my new best friend, even though the green ones really confuse my parakeets.  I never cared before, but now, if it's anti-aging, it's by my sink.

This, however, may be going a bit too far:

Photo by Japantrendshop

These are the Mejikara Anti-Wrinkle Glasses Anti-Aging Goggles.  $48, japantrendshop.com.  I wish I were kidding, but you can't make this stuff up, folks. 

According to the site:

On the inside of the Mejikara there are specially-designed ridges which massage and help your skin. It puts gentle pressure on the skin and pushes those sagging eyes back up to where they once were!

Apparently, you wear this for five minutes a day, and wrinkles magically disappear (or, at least, improve)!  Yep, and I have some swamp land in Florida, if you're interested.

I don't know.  I haven't tried them, so they could work, I guess, but I'm not forking over $48 for what looks like a lens-less version of my little brothers swim goggles, which came from the dollar store, by the way.  Yes, my clay masks make me look like Elphaba, but most of the time Thomas wears one, too, so we look silly together.  I'm not sure I could keep a straight face with this thing on.  My opinion:  you're better off with a good skincare routine and a bottle of concealer. 

Alrighty, today's trip to the magic bag o' samples brought out Viktor & Rolf's Flowerbomb Eau de Parfum.  $22-$100, Sephora.com.  This is reader magnolia's fave, so I was really excited to get to try it out, and I have to say, it's delicious.

This is another sweet scent, so be ye warned.  According to Sephora:

This floral explosion releases a profusion of flowers that has the power to make everything seem more positive. Magically evocative notes immediately awaken your deepest senses, giving you the impression of living life in your own secret garden, away from reality. Sambac Jasmine, Centifolia Rose, Cattleya Orchid, and Ballerina Freesia bloom on a base of Patchouli.

Doesn't Ballerina Freesia just scream "girly"?!  This is a fresh, feminine scent, very reminiscent of baby powder.  I'm betting there's some amber or vanilla in there they're not telling us about.

Now, funny thing about this.  It's eerily similar to the perfume I wore on my wedding day.  I spent weeks, possibly months, agonizing over what scent I was going to wear when I got married.  Your sense of smell is so closely linked to memory, that I wanted just the perfect perfume to help me capture all the memories of that day, and something that would smell wonderful so that when it triggered those memories it would all be sweet and lovey-dovey, and not leave me connecting my wedding with, oh, say...dead fish, or something like that.  It seems silly, but every time I smell anything that's even remotely close to my wedding perfume, I think of that day and smile.

Anyway, I digress.  Before the wedding, I went to every store imaginable, and tried on every scent I could find.  I had spritzers and sample cards (and a hellacious headache), and finally settled on the. perfect. scent.  I didn't know what it was (I'd just grabbed a bottle and sprayed), and when I found the label, I cracked up.  Seriously.  I'm surprised the nice people at Kohl's didn't call security.  The scent:  With Love, Hilary Duff.

Now, here I am, 27 years old, about to get married, and what perfume do I pick?  Chanel?  Dior?  No.  Hilary freaking Duff.  What's worse, I'd worked for the Mouse's radio station during the golden age of her tv show, Lizzie Maguire.  There were pictures of Hilary Duff all over the office, frisbees with her face on them in the prize closet, and her voice on the radio almost 24/7 (she alternated with Lindsay Lohan.  I now know what my version of Hell will be, and I promise to be good).

The thing is, it smelled heavenly.  According to Kohl's, the fragrance is comprised of:

Top notes: succulent mangosteen fruit and exotic spices.

Middle notes: blossoms and cocobolo wood.
Base notes: deep amber milk and sultry amber musk.  

Obviously, they're not clones, but there are definite similarities to Flowerbomb.  It's also in the most adorable, faceted bottle that almost looks like a jewel, so it's not embarrassing to have out on my dresser.  It's sophisticated without being stuffy, and was just what I wanted for my big day:  innocence, youth, and girliness, but combined with a grown-up elegance.  Kind of funny, coming from a teeny-bopper pop star, but it did the trick.  One more thing--at $25 for 1oz (kohls.com), it's a budget-friendly alternative to the Viktor & Rolf, and who doesn't like saving money?  Then again, maybe that's just me showing my age.