Anatomy of a Valentine

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I write these posts a day in advance. That means that I am writing this one on Valentine's Day. Now, I know in yesterday's (today's?) post, I said that I was not going to mention the V-word anymore. I lied. Well, not exactly. I didn't plan on mentioning it again. Why would I? It's over, right? Well...then today started. I thought I might fill you in on my "most romantic day of the year", or, what I like to call "Death of a Magnavox". 

 

7:20 am: The alarm goes off. Thomas heads for the shower, I head downstairs to grab a Slim-Fast. As I pass through the living room and head down the stairs (yes, my living room is upstairs), I hear a loud ticking. Like, check to see where Boris and Natasha have hidden the cartoon bomb loud ticking. At first, I thought it was one of the parakeets tapping on a plastic toy, but the sound wasn't coming from their direction. Near the television is a clock, but it doesn't tick that loudly. That's when I realized the ticking was the television. When I looked behind it, I could see a spark flash with every tick. Oh, that's not good.

 

7:30 am: I tell Thomas that I have good news and bad news. The good news is, he's getting that new TV he's been wanting. The bad news is that the old one might, literally, explode at any minute. He sighed, grumbled a bit, and unplugged the TV. (Note: I would have done that, but it's bundled with about fifty other cords, and I didn't want to unplug the wrong thing. Also, didn't think of it.)

 

9:30 am: Getting ready for work, realize I'm out of my primer. Of course I am.

 

10:00 am: Head out the door and across the street to the Post Office to mail my CD and a short film off for reviews. That's good and nerve-wracking. Then, since the Post Office is in the mall, run to Sephora to replace my primer.

 

10:15 am: Head to Ross Dress For Less (I adore that place!) to replace a brand new, worn only once shirt that I stupidly neglected to check the label on. It was a slub knit, like about half the shirts I own, so I assumed that, like the others, it was machine washable. Um...no...oops. I have the best husband in the world, though, and he took full responsibility, since he put it in the washer, and told me he'd pay me back for the replacement. That's right: first, he did the laundry. Secondly, he's buying me a new shirt, even though it wasn't really his fault. I love him so much.

 

10:40 am: Sit outside Twist Cupcakes, a local boutique bakery, waiting for them to open at 11:00, so I can snap up their Valentine special for dessert: Strawberry and Champagne cupcakes for two. Awwwww. Watch people bounce off the locked door for twenty minutes. Bonus points for people who scratched their head, peered inside, or tried the door again. Double bonus points for a combination of the three. At 11:00, push ahead of the hoity-toity soccer moms to snag the very first cupcakes, then look back and notice the line is completely out the door. Wow.

 

11:10 am: Run home to drop off the cupcakes, wrap Thomas' gift, realize I have no tissue paper for said gift, sigh, and run back out the door to go to work.

 

12:00 pm: Scarf down sandwich at desk, find out that I'm the only person in the office who hasn't received their W-2, panic, email HR. HR says to email payroll. Payroll still hasn't responded to an email I sent them in September. Reschedule accountant appointment for mid-March. 

 

1:30 pm: Remember that the sweet little ladies in the deli downstairs have Valentine's cupcakes. Feel guilty. Remember that they know my name, favorite sandwich, and hobbies, and that they ask about Thomas every time I go in, even though they've never met him. Feel ridiculously guilty. Go downstairs and buy a cupcake.

 

2:15 pm: Sit and look at cupcake, knowing full well there are two of its bretheren on my counter, and I don't need an extra 400 calories. Remember that it's key lime. Drool a bit.

 

3:15 pm: Cave and eat cupcake. So much for the Slim-Fast.

 

3:20 pm: Payroll responds, and has miraculously fixed the glitch I've been fighting since September, and I'm able to get my W-2 online. Do a happy dance. Consider a ritual sacrifice of thanksgiving. Call and re-reschedule my tax appointment. 

5:30 pm: Arrive at Best Buy. Dodge the Direct TV representative. Notice that none of the tvs advertised are available. Purchase whatever television they have in stock. Have minor coronary as Thomas swipes the credit card. Have employee wheel tv out to car. Realize car is too small for the tv. Leave tv and go back to house to get other car. Call Olive Garden (don't judge me) on the way home to place pick-up order.

6:15 pm: Arrive at Best Buy (again). Hide all the rubber masks left over from filming the movie (in June...), so as not to freak out employee. Realize that we still cannot get the tv in the car, and leave with it hanging out of the back of the trunk. Bite nails all the way home.

6:30 pm: Unload tv, bring it in the house, and get it up the stairs to the living room. In heels. 

6:50 pm: Arrive at Olive Garden to pick up order. Park one entire parking lot over, because the place is packed. Maneuver past the throng of teenage couples waiting outside, and one skeezy guy in a name tag who is actively feeling up his girlfriend in the entry way. Give waitress name. Wait for food. Watch people who came in after you leave with their food. Give waitress name again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

7:15 pm: Waitress realizes that your food was in the bag behind her the entire time. Leave crappy tip. Grumble all the way to the car.

7:30 pm: Arrive home. Compose email to music editor waiting for my CD because I found out I was supposed to send it to his house, not his magazine. Oops. Watch Thomas put together television.

8:00 pm: Finally eat, sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by boxes and broken television. Watch How I Met Your Mother. 

8:30 pm: Exchange gifts. He got an Indiana Jones bust, and I got a frame and some awesome "Let's All Go To the Lobby" artwork for my retro kitchen. Smile. Who needs tissue paper? It's just one more thing to throw away.

8:45 pm: Pull out the gourmet cupcakes. Realize that champagne infused buttercream is sent from God. Watch Being Human. 

10:15 pm: Finish blog. Watch Thomas attempt to fix a broken lamp. In the dark. With a power drill. Pieces have been flying, but he actually got it fixed. Think back on the day, and how it wasn't the fairytale day that commercials make it out to be, but that it was a day of taking care of each other, solving problems together, and snuggling on the couch--basically any other day, really. Realize that any day can be Valentine's Day if it's spent with someone you love. Nauseate yourself slightly with the mushy cuteness of it all. Laugh at a goofy song Thomas made up while putting the lamp back together. 

10:20 pm: Get ready for bed. Take off makeup, start slathering on creams and lotions. Catch Thomas looking at me and smiling. Melt.

This was the perfect Valentine's Day. Good night.