Friday, February 18, 2011

Preparing For the Future, Or: My Retriever Better Wear a Fez

It's Friday. It's been a heck of a week. Let's discuss something silly, shall we?

TIME TRAVEL!!!! (*cue Twilight Zone and/or Doctor Who theme music*)

Let's be honest. We've all dreamed of hopping in a Delorean and magically being transported through time. Right? Who knows, maybe one day we will be able to skip past the work week and go straight to Saturday. There's a college professor in Connecticutt who's been working on a theory since the early 2000s. Maybe he'll have a breakthrough soon, and we can all go and see Elvis in concert, or something.

But wait! What if we already have? (*fire up that creepy music again*) What if time travel is already possible, but mostly accidental? Syndicated columnist, Jason Offutt, asked on his blog, From the Shadows, if maybe "science just can’t achieve it – yet. But what if nature can?" His post from Wednesday gave eyewitness accounts of possible time travel incidents, where the travelers in question weren't even aware of their journeys until later evidence caused them to question their experiences.

Orfutt's life-long interest in the possiblity of time travel, coupled with accounts such as the ones he blogged about, prompted him to found the Time Travel Reporting Center, a website to catalog alleged time travel experiences. People who believe they have traveled through time are urged to submit the details of their experience to the site, in the hopes of furthering research, and fostering the realization that "you are not alone". As of this writing, no submissions have been made.

Now, there's at least one group out there who acknowledges that time travel isn't possible, yet, but they're not letting that stop them from preparing for it, anyway. The Time Travel Fund was set up to allow regular folks, like us, the opportunity to travel into the future. For a mere $10, you receive a certificate (suitable for framing!), and, should time travel ever come to pass, will be retrieved at some point for a trip into the future. How long you stay there is entirely up to you. Now, there are plenty of provisos, some quid pro quo, and a whole lot of covering their rear ends, should time travel never come to pass, and I have to say, these guys put a lot of thought into this. While the first thing you see on the site is a bunch of folks in Santa hats, don't be fooled. They're kooky, but certainly not dumb. No, I'm not sending them ten bucks (and I'm certainly not suggesting any of you should), but if I did, and if this actually worked out, I'd insist upon Christopher Lloyd himself retrieving me. I'm not sure I'd hop in a car with anyone else who tried to tell me it was time to go back to the future.

Photo Credit: ebay
But wait! There's more! If you're just dying to take a trip through time, there's a time machine up for grabs on ebay! The description is way too long for me to list here, but if you need a good giggle, click the link and read through it. It boasts such gems as:

"Serial of spells was chanted into this Time Machine, by very powerful Wicca masters.
Also, with this bidding, it comes with the book, "Mastering Time Travel: Voyages Through Time!"
Signed and autographed by author (usually it costs $26 per book with author's autograph in Amazon),
and blessed by author with magic $777-dollar-fountain-pen and magic ink,
It makes the Time Machine very powerful."

"When making this Ad, there are thunders and lightening out doors,
as if the sky is saying, 'Human are not suppose to know this device.'"

And my favorite:

"you can use this machine to view documents in another dimension,
it could also function similar like the Palm pilot on earth. Magical."

You know, I think I'll just stick with this:

Photo Credit:

1 comment:

  1. oh, internet. making the world safe for zany people since 1996.


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