Red Carpet Raves (On a Linoleum Budget)

You know what, I'm done with best and worst dressed lists (at least, for today). No one agrees, everyone's catty, and I'm tired of going, "You liked that? Are you high?!" By now, you've hopefully read my play-by-play, including which gowns I particularly did or did not like. So, to heck with them all! Instead of rehashing, let's look at some of the trends:

First of all, color was key. Reds, Oranges, and Purples dominated the carpet, in surprisingly simple, classic designs. Obviously, it's too early for knock-off dresses to be in stores, but I found some affordable, on-trend beauties at David's Bridal, should you find yourself in need of a fancy frock.

Photo Credit (for all gowns): David's Bridal

This dress is a stunner. It's an aubergine (think Natalie Portman) glitter chiffon gown from the Jessica Simpson collection. Apparently, she designs everything these days. I adore the one-shouldered styling, and the tiered layers lend movement to the gown and provide camouflage for problem areas. $229.00.

This short and sassy silhouette is a bit more wearable, but still a knockout. Also, if you're not into the red trend, there are nineteen other colors to choose from. $129.00.

Another hot gown trend this year was the embellished gown. I loved Anne Hathaway's bedazzled ivory gown, and found a not-too-shabby take on the trend in this next gown:

The blush and champagne tones, along with the cinched waist and billowy skirt, make for a flattering and feminine look. The intricate beading and Black Swan-ready, ballet-esque tulle put it directly on trend. $259.00

Understated elegance showed in more places than stars' gowns. There was a distinct lack of jewelry on Sunday's red carpet. Of course, the jewels that made it were amazing. If you're going with one piece, it's going to have to be extraordinary.

Photo Credit: Frederick's of Hollywood

This statement ring has enough bling to alleviate the need for any other jewelry, except maybe a pair of rhinestone or diamond stud earrings. Best of all, it's on sale for $9.99! This would be a great piece to pair with the red dress from earlier.

Photo Credit: atlantaantiquegallery.com

Now, for something a little more high-end, here's a beautiful vintage piece from Atlanta Antique Gallery. It's the only one of its kind, and priced to move at $95.00. Of course, I found this through a Google search, and there are loads more beautiful, unique pieces out there to fit your own personal taste. Diamond chokers were everywhere on the carpet, and add the perfect touch of refined sparkle.

Alrighty, that's it for this year's Red Carpet report. I hope I was able to help you guys achieve movie star glamour on a movie patron's budget. If not, well, can't say I didn't try. Happy shopping!

A Night At the Oscars

This was written in real time. It's a terrible format, but I wanted to capture as much of the *yawn* excitement as I could. Actually, this year's ceremony was really enjoyable. One of the best in recent years, I'd say. Anyway, please bear with me as I track the awards as they happen.

******************************************************************************

I'm writing this during the Oscar telecast, and as of 7:49, I am 0 for 2. Awesome. That bodes well...

First off, how freaking adorable are Anne Hathaway and James Franco?! I want to eat them up, they are so cute. Loved the opening. Also, the set is gorgeous! Check out the jewels on the stairs!

Okay, Best Gowns So Far:

• Hailee Steinfeld (how sweet, fresh, and age-appropriate, with just the right amount of makeup)
• Anne Hathaway (the first, white gown--wow!)
• Mila Kunis (va-va-voom!)

Fave Moments So Far:

• Kirk Douglas still sharp as a tack, and Melissa Leo asking Douglas out.
• Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem dancing together in matching tuxedos. Also, how much does Javier Bardem look like Jeffrey Dean Morgan? They could play brothers.
• Aaron Sorkin demanding respect from his daughter's guinea pig.
• A Pixar movie winning in front of a Dreamworks background, but I'm evil.

Worst Moments So Far: Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake stumbling through their presentation. Geez...two funny people who could've done better.

Picks I Nailed So Far:

• Best Supporting Actress Melissa Leo (if you like her eyeshadow, try Urban Decay's Stardust in Space Cowboy. If it's not the same, it's darn close. I should know. I'm wearing it right now. Freaky.)
• Best Animated Feature Toy Story 3
• Best Adapted Screenplay The Social Network

Okay, let's take a break at 8:28, catch our breaths, and eat some delicious slice and bake cookies (with milk!). By the way, Holy High Notes, Batman, Hathaway can SING!!!!!! Dear Lord, that was awesome! Also, Hugh Jackman and James Franco are amazing sports.

8:30. Folding laundry. Here we go:

Picks I Nailed:

• Best Supporting Actor Christian Bale (Batman got an Oscar!)
• Best Original Score The Social Network
• Sound Mixing Inception.

Worst Gowns:

• Scarlet Johanssen
• Anne Hathaway's second gown (ew).

WTHeck Moments: Did John Williams write every movie score on the planet, save West Side Story?

8:53. I have clean sheets now. Yay.

Best Gowns:

• Marisa Tomei (just a great overall look)
• Cate Blanchett (actually, I hate the gown, but she looks breathtaking in it)
• Mandy Moore (I think it's lovely. Thomas thinks she looks like a feather duster. Taste is subjective.)

Worst Gowns:

• Amy Adams (Me: "I don't like her dress." Thomas: "I don't like her." Really, it's not the dress. It just doesn't go with the jewelry, and that annoyed me greatly.)
• Audrey Marrs

Picks I Nailed:

• Best Makeup The Wolfman (YAY!! Seriously, it'd have been a crime if it hadn't)
• Best Costume Design Alice In Wonderland

Fave Moments: Harry Potter the Musical. Wow. That whole montage was awesome.

The first two musical numbers aired, and while they were lovely, neither held a candle to the montage of fan favorite movie songs. What happened to the iconic movie scores and songs? I miss them.

9:26. I have eight correct, and Billy Crystal just took the stage!!! Woohoo!!!

Fave Moments:

• Bob Hope hosting the Oscars. Time filler, yes, but really kind of cool.
• Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law being effortlessly cool.

Picks I Nailed:

• Visual Effects Inception
• Film Editing The Social Network

Best Gown: Anne Hathaway (Dress #3)

Worst Gowns:

• Jennifer Hudson (Gorgeous dress, and she looks amazing, but the top of the dress is horribly unflattering. Something about the fit is off. I'm picky, sorry)
• Gwyneth Paltrow (her best song dress. Unflattering. The one she wore on the red carpet was fabulous, though.)

Fave Moment: Randy Newman winning. He's so sweet and funny, I want to hug him.

9:52. Celine Dion is singing. Thomas is grumbling. In Memoriam.

Let me just take a moment to thank the directors for showing the entire In Memoriam in full screen, and the audience for holding its applause until the end. That was the most respectful I've seen yet. Truly lovely.

Best Gowns: Hillary Swank (WANTS IT MY PRECIOUS!!)

Worst Gowns: Kathryn Bigelow (baggy, weird cutouts, unflattering color...I could go on...)

WTHeck Moment: Tom Hooper looks like a young James Cameron, and Cameron's ex gave him the award. Hee.

10:11. Love the Chinese Theatre set.

Best Gowns:

• Jennifer Lawrence (bombshell!)
• Natalie Portman (picture perfect, and I'm betting tassel earrings are the next big trend)
• Nicole Kidman (again, hate the dress, but the whole look is everything a movie star should be)
• Sandra Bullock (class act, and goes great with the set!)

Picks I Nailed:

• Best Actress Natalie Portman
• Best Actor Colin Firth (About bloody time!)

Fave Moment: Colin Firth threatening to dance. If only he had.

10:32. Steven Spielberg (Thomas: "Daddy?!")

Picks I Nailed: Best Picture The King's Speech.

Fave Moment: Cute children singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I think I just melted into a little puddle. Adorable.

So, out of 24 awards, I got 13 right, including Best Picture and all four acting awards. Not too shabby. Best dress of the night? Going with Anne Hathaway's first number. Worst goes to Kathryn Bigelow.

With that, I bid you all goodnight. Exit Stage Right.

Let Me Get Out the Old Magic 8 Ball

Photo Credit: Oscars.org

The annual Academy Awards telecast is this Sunday. I know, it's a bunch of rich, beautiful people patting themselves on the back and giving long, sometimes politically-charged speeches...but the dresses are pretty, so I will be watching. Plus, I really have nothing better to do. I'll probably fold laundry while I gawk at the pretty sparklies.

So, to make my night a little more interesting (what you guys do is entirely up to you), I'm making my Oscar predictions now, and we'll see how well I did come Sunday evening.

***Please remember, while I am an actor and filmmaker, I'm a really, really, really indie, low-budget one. I have no insider information. Heck, I haven't even seen all the nominated movies. My picks are based solely on my own opinions of what I have seen, what I've read on the Interwebs, and which name jumped out at me when I looked at the list. Which, if you think about it, is probably how a lot of the voting is done.***

First, the biggies:

Best Film
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are Alright
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

My Pick: The King's Speech. It's really a toss-up between this and The Social Network, and I love this juxtaposition; One, a period piece about friendship and triumph, set in a royal court--a dramedy of manners, really. The other is so thoroughly modern, that it's considered the representative movie for this generation, and is completely overrun with avarice, greed, and animosity (way to go, this generation?). Both are heavy hitters, filled with all the goodies voters love, and I think Social will rack up the awards, but my big money's on royalty.

Best Actor
Javier Bardem, Biutiful
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours

My Pick: Colin Firth. This is a great race. Jeff Bridges is a demi-god, James Franco's an uber-talented nut, Jesse Eisenberg is breaking out as a new Tom Hanks, and Javier Bardem is...well, freaking gorgeous and always believable. Still, I think Colin Firth deserved gold for A Single Man, and I think this is the year the Academy makes it up to him.

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
John Hawkes, Winter's Bone
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are Alright
Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech

My Pick: Christian Bale. Personally, I think Mark Ruffalo is one of the most underrated actors working today, so I'd love to see him get it. I'm also a huge fan of Geoffrey Rush from way back at Shakespeare In Love, but Bale's been sweeping the awards, and I don't see the streak ending without an Oscar in his mitts.

Best Actress
Annette Bening, The Kids Are Alright
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

My Pick: Natalie Portman. She's got it sewn up. First off, her performance was phenomenal--easily the best of her career, thus far (keep it up!). Secondly, people remember her as an extraordinarily talented child actor, so there's the "I watched her grow up!" factor. Thirdly, she's pregnant and gorgeous, and from what I can tell, exceedingly likable. She's handled the campaign with grace and humor, and I can't imagine this story ending with any other actress accepting the award. With that, Williams is consistently remarkable, and it would be nice to see Annette Bening win after so many nominations.

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Jackie Weaver, Animal Kingdom

My Pick: Melissa Leo. This is a qualified pick. The only way Leo loses is if the Oscar voters were turned off by her campaign. See, in most of her movies, Leo plays characters that are dowdy, frumpy, and well-worn. For her "For Your Consideration" ads, she dressed a little more glamorously, wore pretty makeup, and fixed her hair. I saw the ads. She looked nice. She looked happy. For some reason, this caused a bit of a ruckus, and it was rumored that she lost a fair number of votes for it. It seems you're not supposed to be so open about wanting to win. Oh, well. If she doesn't win, I think this is a fairly open category. Some votes might transfer to Fighter co-star Amy Adams. A few could go to Helena Bonham Carter, as voters generally like Queens. I would put my non-Leo money on Steinfeld. The kid really proved herself with her debut role. She had dialogue and physical work that would make veterans run in terror, and she nailed all of it. I'd love to see the child win.

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David O. Russell, The Fighter
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
David Fincher, The Social Network
Joel and Ethan Coen, True Grit

My Pick: David Fincher. Any of these gentlemen could walk away with it. I'm picking Fincher because he made a bunch of geeks sitting around a computer not only interesting, but downright riveting.

Animated Feature Film
How To Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Toy Story 3

My Pick: Toy Story 3. Hands down. I loved How To Train Your Dragon, and any other year, it might have had a shot. Unfortunately for Dragon, TS3 was not only the best animated feature of 2010, but also one of the best movies, period, for the year. I sobbed all the way through the opening and ending. In fact, I'm tearing up now just thinking about Andy growing up, and his sweet little ragamuffin gang of toybox friends, and...oh, darn you, Pixar! Where's that tissue...?

Okay, now the rest:

Art Direction: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Could go to Alice In Wonderland because you'd think it would. I just didn't care for the movie, and found the entire design too drab and boring. Inception deserves to win because of all the detail that went into making the dreams believable, but...well, dreamlike, at the same time. Still, I think Potter will take it, for its beautiful and seemingly effortless blending of the Wizarding world and the Muggle world.

Cinematography: True Grit. All of the nominated films were beautifully shot, but I'm giving it to True Grit, for capturing the beauty and danger of the wilderness surrounding the Wild West. Talk about breathtaking.

Costume Design: Alice In Wonderland. The movie was lousy, but the costumes were stunning. Plus, designer Colleen Atwood is a perennial favorite.

Best Documentary: Exit Through the Gift Shop. Could go to Restrepo. I loved Exit, though I question its authenticity. I think it'll win, as long as voters are lenient in their definition of "documentary". This was hysterical, thought provoking, a little shocking, and just a ton of fun. Truly, a work of art.

Best Documentary Short Subject: The Warriors of Quigang. Shot in the dark. I haven't seen any of the nominated films, and for that, I apologize.

Film Editing: The Social Network. Sorkin is known for pages and pages of dialogue; long, sweeping monologues, heated arguments, and rapid-fire exchanges. Edit them well, and you have some seriously exciting drama, my friends. Edit them poorly and...well, you have a lot of talking. A lot of talking. Whoo, boy, can these people go on...where's that wrap up music when you need it?

Best Foreign Language Film: Biutiful. It's done well at previous awards, and Javier Bardem is up for best actor. I'm calling this a safe bet.

Makeup: The Wolfman. Because it would be a shame if it didn't. Sure, the movie may have flopped, but Rick Baker's creature makeup was astounding. (By the way, the director's cut of the movie is worlds better than the theatrical release, and I recommend giving it a look.)

Original Score: The Social Network. Again, it's done well at other awards, and it's one of the more interesting scores I've heard in a while.

Original Song: "Coming Home" from Country Strong. I apologize again, but I've not heard any of the nominees, with the exception of the one from Toy Story 3, and I don't remember it. I'm going with this one simply because I would hope that a song from a movie about singers and performing would be worth having a singer actually perform. Hope springs eternal.

Best Animated Short: Night and Day. I loved this short. Absolutely adored it. The Gruffalo could prove the upset, but I'm going with this sweet visual treat.

Best Short Film (Live Action): Na Wewe. Have I seen any of these? Nope. Does this one have a fun name? Yep. There you go.

Sound Editing: Tron: Legacy. Why? Because my friend Shaun, a sound editor, was blown away by it. So, there.

Sound Mixing: Inception. Like the many layers of the dream, there were many layers to this sound, and they blended seamlessly. My hat's off to these guys.

Visual Effects: Inception. No, no one was waving wands or boasting ginormous heads, but you never knew what was real and what was imagined in Inception. Every effect was grounded in truth, and the results were thrillingly realistic.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): The Social Network. It should go to True Grit, for it's rustic language, and the interplay between our spunky heroine and pickled old Rooster Cogburn, but it won't. Sorkin's computer wizzes will take home the prize.

Writing (Original Screenplay): The Kids Are Alright. It wins for being one of the most accurate portrayals of familial love in a long, long time.

Well, that's that. Tune in Monday to see how I fared, and have a fabulous weekend!

O-, O-, O-, It's Magic! Smashbox O-Plump Lip Gloss

To end this week's unofficial Salute to Smashbox, I thought I'd give you a review of the product I actually purchased. I know! It's CUH-RAAAZY!! Well, I'm just in that kind of mood today, I guess.

Let's travel back in time, shall we? Back to when this whole mess started. You see, Spring is nearly upon us. Heck, down here in Alabama, the temperatures are already well into the 70s. I've had to bust out the tank tops and capris. I'd be wearing flip-flops 24/7, if only I'd had the time to paint my toenails, but I digress. I cleared all the Fall/Winter makeup off my counter, and dug through my ginormous makeup case to find Spring and Summer color replacements. I found blush. I found eyeshadow. I even found some nice nude glosses...but no pink. How in the heck can I, the girl with the hot pink iPod and crystal earbuds, not have a pink lipgloss?

Well, that's not exactly true. I had hot pink lipgloss (that goes with, oh, nothing), and pale pink lipgloss that you can't really see. What I was, in all honesty, missing was a bright, true pink. A Spring pink, if you will. Unfortunately, that shade and a flattering red are about the most difficult colors for this Auburn-haired lass to find.

Enter the Smashbox website. There is a gloss--well, two glosses, actually--that claims to customize itself to the wearer's perfect shade of pink. Well, slap me silly and call me Ed! Right, and I've got some swampland down in Florida. If this stuff actually worked, I'd be a devotee for life. Thing is, $24 is a bit steep for an experiment. Especially, an experiment with lip gloss. I mean, let's get real.

Then came the rationalization. See, normally, I'd just go to Buxom and get a lip gloss. That's $18, and it may or may not be flattering. Pink is tricky for me. However, if I buy the Smashbox one, it comes with a free eyeshadow/liner in a cool color that I would definitely wear. I could really say that I'm buying the liner, and getting the lip gloss for free. Plus, it comes with another mini eyeliner (didn't know about the bonus lip gloss, yet), and I'll get points and free shipping! It'd be a mistake not to get it!

Who doesn't love a good rationalization every now and then?

The two glosses are called O-Gloss ($22) and O-Plump ($24). They're basically two versions of the same thing, but I went with the O-Plump because if I'm going with something other than my beloved Buxom, it darn well better have some plumping action. If you're not a fan of (or can't tolerate) plumpers, go with the O-Gloss. Same customization, but without that bee-sting tingle.

According to Smashbox:

"Get a perfectly plump pink pout all your own! O-PLUMP is the first intuitive lip plumper that goes on clear and then reacts with your personal chemistry to turn lips your own custom shade of pink, while instantly plumping to perfection. It’s packed with our exclusive microcirculating Goji Berry-C Complex™, Gingermint, ginkgo biloba, pomegranate seed antioxidants, revitalizing marine botanicals and moisturizing avocado oil for non-stop color and shine."

According to Me:

Well, I'll be. It works. It actually works. How about that?

The gloss comes in a tube with a molded tip applicator. It comes out mostly clear--there is the slightest pink tinge, but it's almost unnoticeable--and smooths on easily. The gloss is not sticky, but lasts, literally, for hours (I still had some on after eating lunch, unlike the "long-lasting" gloss from earlier this week), and leaves your lips feeling moisturized and downright luscious. There is some minor plumping action, but it's very subtle. I could tell that they were fuller, but couldn't detect it happening. I sat in front of a mirror and watched, hoping to see my lips swell up like a balloon. Thankfully, the plumping is very gradual. I don't know how well I'd have handled the Looney Tunes scenario, to be honest.

The custom color is less the gloss changing color like a mood ring, and more your lips turning pink in reaction to the gloss. This is cool, actually, because your lips stay pink after the gloss wears off. You can also build the color by applying the gloss in layers. I'm not a scientist, so I suppose it's possible the gloss might change color, too, but so far, the only time the gloss has appeared pink in the tube (besides the vague tint) has been when a little dead skin flaked off onto the lip of the applicator, and only the debris changed color. I also tested a swatch on my hand, and there was no change in color to either hand or gloss. Make your own assumptions.

For the record, the color I ended up with is precisely the color I wanted. My lips have a very flattering, slightly brighter than natural flush.

Final Verdict: 8 out of 10. Great gloss. The color is perfect. It's a cool concept, and it does what it says to a certain degree, but the price is still a little high for the amount you get.

Walk the Line: Smashbox Limitless Eye Liner

In continuation of this week's apparent "All Smashbox, All the Time" theme, today I have a review on their Limitless Eye Liner pencil ($19, Smashbox). This was one of the (many) samples they sent with my recent order. See, I have a tendency to hoard samples; you know, save them for a rainy day. Well, no more. They took over the bathroom drawers at our old apartment, so I have sworn never to do that again. Now, as soon as they come in, they get used. Hence, all the reviews this week.

Now, I'm a huge fan of Smashbox's Limitless Liquid Liner Pen, but it can be a little severe at times. I thought that a softer look might be more fitting for Spring's beachy waves and flowy fabrics. When I saw the opportunity to try a pencil form of my beloved liquid, well, that just seemed perfect.

Here's what Smashbox had to say about the pencil:

"Our new waterproof long-wearing liner provides bold definition that won’t smudge or budge for up to 8 hours. This creamy, easy-to-apply formula contains vitamin E and jojoba oil to moisturize and protect. The cap houses a unique built-in sharpener so you’ll always have the most precise application."

Here's what I have to say:

First off, my sample didn't come with a cap/sharpener, so I couldn't test that part, but I will say that it was mighty considerate of Smashbox to add that feature. This pencil is chunky, and the body is very dense, so having a sharpener designed specifically for it is a plus. I haven't tried it in mine because, frankly, I'm afraid to. I don't want to damage my sharpener.

The pencil itself is very easy to handle and glides on without tugging, though it might take a couple of swipes before the line is completely solid. The color payoff is rich and creamy, but soft enough to keep from looking harsh. The color I tried was Onyx (matte black), and I personally think it's too dark for the lower lashline during the day, but it smudges beautifully for an evening or smoky look.

Now, for the not-so-good bits. There was some transfer to my upper lid. Not much, and easily fixed, but considering the fact that I was also wearing a lid primer, there's no excuse for that to happen with a liner that isn't supposed to smudge or budge for 8 hours. That said, it only happened once, so it might have just been a fluke. We do have very high humidity down here in the ninth cir--I mean, deep South.

I love that this pencil is infused with all sorts of goodies to keep our lids pretty and smooth. Anything that wards off the dreaded eye wrinkle is tops in my book. The liner comes in several shades, and I'm particularly drawn to Black Violet (self-explanatory shade, I think). Hazel eyes tend to enjoy anything purple. Indigo Ink is a very, very, very deep navy, and would be lovely on brown eyes.

Final Verdict: Not bad. Good for your skin with nice color payoff and limited smudging. 7 out of 10.

*UPDATE: I wore this again today (Thursday, 2/24), and some had some pretty major fading within two hours. If you choose to wear this eyeliner, carry it with you for touchups. Knocking the score down a notch.

Final Final Verdict: 6 out of 10. Still a nice pencil, but a little high maintenance.

Shine On Me: Smashbox Reflection-High Shine Lip Gloss

Previously on Adorable Napalm: Erin placed an order at Smashbox, and received a ton of free stuff in the process. As a recovering sample junkie, she is determined to use every item she received and blog about the results.

I thought I'd start with the one sample I didn't technically request. The Reflection-High Shine Lip Gloss ($19, Smashbox*) came as a result of joining the Pretty Points program.

For starters, let me just say that this is a great size for a sample. It's .19 oz, which is a little more than half of the .36 oz full-size product. It also comes in a miniaturized version of the full-size packaging, so you have plenty of product to test, and a good idea of what application will entail. In this case, the applicator is the molded tip of the tube. Automatically, I'm a fan. There's nothing I hate more than using a wand to apply a light or clear gloss over lipstick, then have to stick the lipstick covered wand back in the tube. You end up with slightly tinted gloss, and it just bugs the daylights out of me. There's no worry of that with this product, so points for that. Another plus, no taste and no scent. I can't tell you how many lip glosses I've tossed because their fragrance gave me a headache. Initial Reaction: 9 out of 10.

Now, for the product itself. According to Smashbox:

"This advanced formula gloss saturates lips with a high impact shine. Vitamins and hyaluronic acid deeply moisturize, fill in lines, and naturally plump lips for the perfect glossy pout. Wear it alone or over any lip color – the reflective pearlescent shade looks stunning on every skin tone and leaves a gorgeous glossy sheen that lasts for hours."

Let's go down the list, shall we?

1) High Impact Shine: Check. You can use a little of this for a pretty "Oh, I just slapped this on because I'm so naturally beautiful I no longer care about makeup" look, or you can pile it on and have lips that look like vinyl. Either way, there's tons of shine, and enough super-fine glitter to shimmer without looking tacky. 9 out of 10.

2) Moisturize, Fill In Lines, and Plump Lips: Believe it or not, Check. I don't have any lines to fill, but my lips feel hydrated, and there is a very slight bee-sting effect. I'm not Angelina Jolie, but my lips do look a little bit fuller. 8 out of 10.

3) Universally Flattering (paraphrased): Um...it's basically clear. So, yeah...Check. In the tube, the gloss is an almost scary white color, but on your lips, the gloss is a cloudy clear shade, that, in conjunction with the shine, shimmer and sting, beautifully accentuates your natural lip color and shape. This makes for one seriously sexy pout. I kind of feel like I just stepped out of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Well, my lips, anyway. 9 out of 10.

4) Lasts For Hours: Half Check. It lasts for a good long time for a gloss. It is still going to wear off when you eat, or if you talk for extended periods. I also wouldn't recommend it for a hot date. However, for regular wear, it stays on pretty well. Unfortunately, this long-wear comes with a price. It's sticky. I mean, really sticky. Don't wear this on a windy day, unless you've already settled on a ponytail-based hairstyle. Otherwise, you will end up with a mouthfull of hair. 5 out of 10.

Final Verdict: 8 out of 10. For enhanced natural beauty, this is a winner.

*Currently out of stock at Smashbox, but available at Sephora for the same price.

Fairytale Results: Philosophy Help Me

For today's product review, I'd like to tell you a story.

Once upon a time (okay, last Monday), there was a beautiful (humor me) and graceful (seriously, just go with it) princess (don't make me keep doing this). The beautiful, graceful princess ventured forth into a wonderous, magical land of enchantment. The land was called Sephora. You see, the princess was in dire need of a fantastical serum, as she was lately of a "certain age", and the flower of her youth was beginning to wilt...

Oh, dear God, how did the Grimms do it?! Okay, non-fairytale version:

Went to Sephora. Saw a tube that appeared to be asking for assistance. Asked the fabulous salesperson (my new fairy godmother) what was up with that, and she sent me home with an insanely huge sample.

Philosophy Help Me ($45, Sephora) is a night cream with a ridiculous amount of retinol. According to Sephora:

"This winner of Allure magazine's editor's choice "Best of Beauty" award for best antiaging treatment helps keep pores clean and minimized, reduces wrinkles and discoloration, and boosts tone and firmness. It delivers the key ingredient, retinol, through encapsulated microsponge technology, which offers stability for gradual release into the skin. The time-release innovation, along with a soothing dose of bisabolol, increases efficacy and helps prevent irritation."

So, I applied the product Monday night with zero expectations, which was just as well, as there were zero results Tuesday morning. I'd been warned that I might experience some irritation, and to make sure I slathered on sunscreen before going outside.

Nope.

No redness, no breakout, no anything. Also, no sunscreen. Oops. I thought I had some, but was apparently mistaken. I did pick some up that...Wednesday...

So, Tuesday night I applied another dose. Now, I'd been told I might want to only use it every other day, but since I'd had no problems, went ahead and gave it another shot. Wednesday morning--nothing.

Wednesday night, I used the Philosophy again (let me just say that Thomas looooved seeing a small container with "Help Me" handwritten on the lid, staring up at him from the bathroom counter, like something from an even more twisted Alice In Wonderland). This time, I did notice a slight, fairly pleasant warmth. Thursday morning, I kid you not, I did not want to put on makeup. My skin looked a-mazing! My pores were practically gone. The wrinkles on my forehead were visibly lighter, and the Winter dullness was now bright and refreshed.

This stuff rocked.

So, used it again Thursday night, and my Mom came over Friday morning. Now, my Mom thinks I'm gorgeous (she's my Mom. She has to), and always tells me so, but this morning was different. In the most genuine, almost dumbfounded tone, she told me that she thought I'd actually gotten prettier since she'd last seen me.

I bought a tube that day. Spending $45 on face cream was painful, but this stuff is worth it.

It is now Sunday night, and I am sitting on the couch, wearing zero makeup. Honestly, I think I look better than I did with makeup on today. I don't have a single blemish, my pores are tiny and clear, and my skin has never been more even. I cannot recommend this product enough. Proceed with caution, as some people do experience irritation or breakouts because the amount of retinol, but please, proceed.

Final verdict: 11 out of 10. Does what it says, and does it well. 

Preparing For the Future, Or: My Retriever Better Wear a Fez

It's Friday. It's been a heck of a week. Let's discuss something silly, shall we?

TIME TRAVEL!!!! (*cue Twilight Zone and/or Doctor Who theme music*)

Let's be honest. We've all dreamed of hopping in a Delorean and magically being transported through time. Right? Who knows, maybe one day we will be able to skip past the work week and go straight to Saturday. There's a college professor in Connecticutt who's been working on a theory since the early 2000s. Maybe he'll have a breakthrough soon, and we can all go and see Elvis in concert, or something.

But wait! What if we already have? (*fire up that creepy music again*) What if time travel is already possible, but mostly accidental? Syndicated columnist, Jason Offutt, asked on his blog, From the Shadows, if maybe "science just can’t achieve it – yet. But what if nature can?" His post from Wednesday gave eyewitness accounts of possible time travel incidents, where the travelers in question weren't even aware of their journeys until later evidence caused them to question their experiences.

Orfutt's life-long interest in the possiblity of time travel, coupled with accounts such as the ones he blogged about, prompted him to found the Time Travel Reporting Center, a website to catalog alleged time travel experiences. People who believe they have traveled through time are urged to submit the details of their experience to the site, in the hopes of furthering research, and fostering the realization that "you are not alone". As of this writing, no submissions have been made.

Now, there's at least one group out there who acknowledges that time travel isn't possible, yet, but they're not letting that stop them from preparing for it, anyway. The Time Travel Fund was set up to allow regular folks, like us, the opportunity to travel into the future. For a mere $10, you receive a certificate (suitable for framing!), and, should time travel ever come to pass, will be retrieved at some point for a trip into the future. How long you stay there is entirely up to you. Now, there are plenty of provisos, some quid pro quo, and a whole lot of covering their rear ends, should time travel never come to pass, and I have to say, these guys put a lot of thought into this. While the first thing you see on the site is a bunch of folks in Santa hats, don't be fooled. They're kooky, but certainly not dumb. No, I'm not sending them ten bucks (and I'm certainly not suggesting any of you should), but if I did, and if this actually worked out, I'd insist upon Christopher Lloyd himself retrieving me. I'm not sure I'd hop in a car with anyone else who tried to tell me it was time to go back to the future.

Photo Credit: ebay

But wait! There's more! If you're just dying to take a trip through time, there's a time machine up for grabs on ebay! The description is way too long for me to list here, but if you need a good giggle, click the link and read through it. It boasts such gems as:

"Serial of spells was chanted into this Time Machine, by very powerful Wicca masters.
Also, with this bidding, it comes with the book, "Mastering Time Travel: Voyages Through Time!"
Signed and autographed by author (usually it costs $26 per book with author's autograph in Amazon),
and blessed by author with magic $777-dollar-fountain-pen and magic ink,
It makes the Time Machine very powerful."

"When making this Ad, there are thunders and lightening out doors,
as if the sky is saying, 'Human are not suppose to know this device.'"

And my favorite:

"you can use this machine to view documents in another dimension,

it could also function similar like the Palm pilot on earth. Magical."

You know, I think I'll just stick with this:

Photo Credit: teecraze.com

Glow, Baby, Glow!

Hey folks! Today I have an update on the Smashbox deal, and the highly-anticipated (just go with it) Part II of the Tarte Smooth Operator Amazonian Clay Illuminating Serum review!

 

First, to recap yesterday, Smashbox has a deal called "Let's Do Lunch", where on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you get a special bonus full-sized product as a gift with any purchase made from 9am to 2pm PST. Tuesday's gift was a $22 shadow liner, which is pretty darn nice, if you ask me. Today's is a $15 medium-sized gloss. Anyway, in addition to the gift, you also receive a bonus jumbo sample (the size of a deluxe 100-point sample at Sephora) and a mini-sample. Well, on top of that, I had another bonus sample--a mini reflecting lipgloss--mysteriously appear in my order confirmation. Where could that have possibly come from?

 

I'll tell you where. I found out today that if you sign up for Smashbox Pretty Points (which I did), you automatically get another bonus deluxe sample added to your order. That's where the gloss came from! Plus, you get five points for every dollar that you spend. When you hit 500 points, you get $10 to spend on the site. Oh, and did I mention free shipping on every order? Yeah, I'm in big trouble now.

 

Alrighty, now for Tarte Part Deux. In yesterday's review, I talked about wearing this product with makeup. Today, I thought I'd discuss wearing it alone, as suggested by the folks at Tarte. 

 

To recap, here's what Sephora says about this:

 

"Ideal for all skin types, this natural skin brightener is infused with Amazonian clay, vitamins, and tea extract to moisturize and replenish the skin. This healing clay completely neutralizes any negative skin condition so that you are left with a healthy, radiant complexion. Oily skin? Amazonian clay minimizes oil in and around pores to balance skin and keep product in place. Dry skin? This nourishing clay hydrates skin naturally to restore moisture so your makeup wears better, longer and truer. Use fingertips to apply a pearl-size amount alone or mix with your foundation."

 

I tried it with makeup, over my foundation, for a few days, and saw little to no difference in the luminosity of my skin, or in its condition. I achieved a better level of "glow" with a little bronzer and some mineral powder. 

 

Disappointed by that experiment, I thought I'd give wearing it alone a go. Last night, after I'd washed off my makeup, I applied the pearl-sized amount suggested to my clean skin. Um...wow. And not a good "wow". I looked like I'd been dunked in a vat of oil. Where I saw very little illumination with makeup, I sure as heck glistened without it! It was just too much. I decided that I'd give it a little while to calm down (I had just washed my face, afterall), and see how things looked in a couple of hours, before I went to bed. 

 

One Netflixed MST3K later (Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster, for the curious), I ducked into the bathroom to see how I looked...and was sad. It's just not flattering. Yes, the shine had worn down some, but my skin was nowhere near even. I'm not splotchy, to begin with, but this wasn't doing me any favors. Worse yet, the area under my eyes looked horrible! I don't have dark circles, but I do have hollow areas that I camoflage with concealer. Without makeup, they're not embarrassing, but they look better with, at least, a little foundation. With this, they looked sunken in. It was the first thing I noticed when I looked in the mirror. I was a shimmery zombie, and I must say, it's not my best look.

 

I immediately washed it off, put on my night cream, and went to bed. This morning, I didn't touch the stuff.

 

If you want an illuminating primer to wear under makeup (or even over, really), save $4 and get Benefit's That Gal. It's brightening, holds makeup in place, and makes skin look really pretty.

 

If you want a highlighter for cheeks, shoulders, or anywhere else you want to show off, save $3 and get NARS Orgasm Illuminator. It's a beautiful color that can even be used as a sheer liquid blush. I would use it on the entire face, due to the peachy-pink color, but it's gorgeous on cheeks and browbones. If you prefer powder to liquid, or just don't want to add any more color, LORAC Perfectly Lit Oil Free Luminizing Powder is amazing. Just don't use it all over your face. You won't save any money, but the effects are much more appealing.

 

Now, if you just want something to make you look airbrushed, you can save a whopping $13 (!!!) and get Bare Escentuals Hydrating Mineral Veil. It's hydrating (duh), absorbs oil, and has a slight shimmer that minimizes the look of fine lines. I use it every single day, and am completely in love with it.

If you're just begging for something to wear instead of makeup, though, I'd suggest a good tinted moisturizer. This Tarte stuff isn't it, but one I can recommend is Stila's Sheer Color Tinted Moisturizer. It's actually $2 MORE than the Tarte, but at least it does what it says it does. It's lightweight, good for your skin, and has SPF 15. It's out of stock until June, but worth the weight. Fun Fact: During my time on the road, I had to wear heavy stage makeup every day, sometimes ALL day. In my off time, I wore this to give my skin a rest, and never had a breakout. Another Fun Fact: This now comes in an illuminating form. I haven't tried it, so I can't recommend it, but if anyone out there has used it, I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

Smashing, Darling!

Okay, so I heard about this little gem of a deal yesterday, and had to share it with you. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't.

 

Smashbox fans, there's a new deal (well, new to me, anyway) called Let's Do Lunch. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 9am-2pm PST, if you buy anything from Smashbox.com, you will receive a bonus, full-sized product. The product changes from day to day, and won't be announced until the deal starts. Tuesday's item was a Waterproof Shadow Liner in Blueprint, a shimmery indigo. In addition, you also receive one of three jumbo samples (your choice, about the size of a 100-point Sephora deluxe sample), and a bonus mini-sample. Plus, for some reason, when my order confirmation (of course, I ordered something!) came in, there was an extra freebie--a mini reflecting gloss! Basically, I racked up, and I couldn't wait to pass the deal on to you!

 

Alrighty, time for another dip into ye olde magic bag o' samples! (It still exists!) Today's sample: Tarte Smooth Operator Amazonian Clay Illuminating Serum. $32, Sephora. According to Sephora:

 

"Ideal for all skin types, this natural skin brightener is infused with Amazonian clay, vitamins, and tea extract to moisturize and replenish the skin. This healing clay completely neutralizes any negative skin condition so that you are left with a healthy, radiant complexion. Oily skin? Amazonian clay minimizes oil in and around pores to balance skin and keep product in place. Dry skin? This nourishing clay hydrates skin naturally to restore moisture so your makeup wears better, longer and truer. Suggested Usage: Use fingertips to apply a pearl-size amount alone or mix with your foundation."

 

According to me: Meh. Now, there are tons of 5-star reviews on Sephora, so maybe it's just me. I don't go out without a little foundation--at least, not during the Winter. Maybe during the Summer. If I'm going swimming. With my immediate family. At night. Otherwise, there's at least tinted moisturizer on this face. In other words, I didn't try it on bare skin. However, I did try to mix it with my foundation. I wear Benefit's Some Kind-A Gorgeous, which is a very sheer pancake formula, over Benefit's That Gal brightening primer. I couldn't really scoop some of the pancake makeup out and blend the liquid illuminator into it, so I applied as usual (with a little sponge), then smoothed the illuminator on top.

 

There may have been a slight difference in luminosity, or perhaps it was wishful thinking. The product is a thin liquid makeup. It's a nude shade with a lot of shimmer. However, the shimmer I saw left on my hands didn't seem to make it onto my face. Normally I would use a product like this very sparingly, to keep from looking greasy. Not this time. I was piling it on, trying to see any difference. Again, practically nothing. I mean, I don't have too much trouble with dry skin (the insane humidity around here takes care of that), but I expected more than the practically non-existent results I was seeing. By the time I finished my makeup, including powder and bronzer, I might as well have skipped the illuminator altogether.

 

Tonight, after I take off my makeup, I'm going to apply this to my bare face, to see if it does anything for me, so expect a review on that. As for using it on a face full of makeup? Don't bother. It's a waste of money when you can achieve a higher level of luminosity with a slightly shimmery mineral powder. 

 

Final Verdict: If you wear makeup, you don't need this.

Anatomy of a Valentine

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I write these posts a day in advance. That means that I am writing this one on Valentine's Day. Now, I know in yesterday's (today's?) post, I said that I was not going to mention the V-word anymore. I lied. Well, not exactly. I didn't plan on mentioning it again. Why would I? It's over, right? Well...then today started. I thought I might fill you in on my "most romantic day of the year", or, what I like to call "Death of a Magnavox". 

 

7:20 am: The alarm goes off. Thomas heads for the shower, I head downstairs to grab a Slim-Fast. As I pass through the living room and head down the stairs (yes, my living room is upstairs), I hear a loud ticking. Like, check to see where Boris and Natasha have hidden the cartoon bomb loud ticking. At first, I thought it was one of the parakeets tapping on a plastic toy, but the sound wasn't coming from their direction. Near the television is a clock, but it doesn't tick that loudly. That's when I realized the ticking was the television. When I looked behind it, I could see a spark flash with every tick. Oh, that's not good.

 

7:30 am: I tell Thomas that I have good news and bad news. The good news is, he's getting that new TV he's been wanting. The bad news is that the old one might, literally, explode at any minute. He sighed, grumbled a bit, and unplugged the TV. (Note: I would have done that, but it's bundled with about fifty other cords, and I didn't want to unplug the wrong thing. Also, didn't think of it.)

 

9:30 am: Getting ready for work, realize I'm out of my primer. Of course I am.

 

10:00 am: Head out the door and across the street to the Post Office to mail my CD and a short film off for reviews. That's good and nerve-wracking. Then, since the Post Office is in the mall, run to Sephora to replace my primer.

 

10:15 am: Head to Ross Dress For Less (I adore that place!) to replace a brand new, worn only once shirt that I stupidly neglected to check the label on. It was a slub knit, like about half the shirts I own, so I assumed that, like the others, it was machine washable. Um...no...oops. I have the best husband in the world, though, and he took full responsibility, since he put it in the washer, and told me he'd pay me back for the replacement. That's right: first, he did the laundry. Secondly, he's buying me a new shirt, even though it wasn't really his fault. I love him so much.

 

10:40 am: Sit outside Twist Cupcakes, a local boutique bakery, waiting for them to open at 11:00, so I can snap up their Valentine special for dessert: Strawberry and Champagne cupcakes for two. Awwwww. Watch people bounce off the locked door for twenty minutes. Bonus points for people who scratched their head, peered inside, or tried the door again. Double bonus points for a combination of the three. At 11:00, push ahead of the hoity-toity soccer moms to snag the very first cupcakes, then look back and notice the line is completely out the door. Wow.

 

11:10 am: Run home to drop off the cupcakes, wrap Thomas' gift, realize I have no tissue paper for said gift, sigh, and run back out the door to go to work.

 

12:00 pm: Scarf down sandwich at desk, find out that I'm the only person in the office who hasn't received their W-2, panic, email HR. HR says to email payroll. Payroll still hasn't responded to an email I sent them in September. Reschedule accountant appointment for mid-March. 

 

1:30 pm: Remember that the sweet little ladies in the deli downstairs have Valentine's cupcakes. Feel guilty. Remember that they know my name, favorite sandwich, and hobbies, and that they ask about Thomas every time I go in, even though they've never met him. Feel ridiculously guilty. Go downstairs and buy a cupcake.

 

2:15 pm: Sit and look at cupcake, knowing full well there are two of its bretheren on my counter, and I don't need an extra 400 calories. Remember that it's key lime. Drool a bit.

 

3:15 pm: Cave and eat cupcake. So much for the Slim-Fast.

 

3:20 pm: Payroll responds, and has miraculously fixed the glitch I've been fighting since September, and I'm able to get my W-2 online. Do a happy dance. Consider a ritual sacrifice of thanksgiving. Call and re-reschedule my tax appointment. 

5:30 pm: Arrive at Best Buy. Dodge the Direct TV representative. Notice that none of the tvs advertised are available. Purchase whatever television they have in stock. Have minor coronary as Thomas swipes the credit card. Have employee wheel tv out to car. Realize car is too small for the tv. Leave tv and go back to house to get other car. Call Olive Garden (don't judge me) on the way home to place pick-up order.

6:15 pm: Arrive at Best Buy (again). Hide all the rubber masks left over from filming the movie (in June...), so as not to freak out employee. Realize that we still cannot get the tv in the car, and leave with it hanging out of the back of the trunk. Bite nails all the way home.

6:30 pm: Unload tv, bring it in the house, and get it up the stairs to the living room. In heels. 

6:50 pm: Arrive at Olive Garden to pick up order. Park one entire parking lot over, because the place is packed. Maneuver past the throng of teenage couples waiting outside, and one skeezy guy in a name tag who is actively feeling up his girlfriend in the entry way. Give waitress name. Wait for food. Watch people who came in after you leave with their food. Give waitress name again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

7:15 pm: Waitress realizes that your food was in the bag behind her the entire time. Leave crappy tip. Grumble all the way to the car.

7:30 pm: Arrive home. Compose email to music editor waiting for my CD because I found out I was supposed to send it to his house, not his magazine. Oops. Watch Thomas put together television.

8:00 pm: Finally eat, sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by boxes and broken television. Watch How I Met Your Mother. 

8:30 pm: Exchange gifts. He got an Indiana Jones bust, and I got a frame and some awesome "Let's All Go To the Lobby" artwork for my retro kitchen. Smile. Who needs tissue paper? It's just one more thing to throw away.

8:45 pm: Pull out the gourmet cupcakes. Realize that champagne infused buttercream is sent from God. Watch Being Human. 

10:15 pm: Finish blog. Watch Thomas attempt to fix a broken lamp. In the dark. With a power drill. Pieces have been flying, but he actually got it fixed. Think back on the day, and how it wasn't the fairytale day that commercials make it out to be, but that it was a day of taking care of each other, solving problems together, and snuggling on the couch--basically any other day, really. Realize that any day can be Valentine's Day if it's spent with someone you love. Nauseate yourself slightly with the mushy cuteness of it all. Laugh at a goofy song Thomas made up while putting the lamp back together. 

10:20 pm: Get ready for bed. Take off makeup, start slathering on creams and lotions. Catch Thomas looking at me and smiling. Melt.

This was the perfect Valentine's Day. Good night.

Nobody Knows How Dry I Am!

In an effort to avoid the V-word today (I know many of you are sick to death of the little diapered archer and all his surrounding hoopla), I thought I'd go with a nice, safe, totally unromantic product review.

My beloved (oops, sorry!) Sephora makeup remover wipes went the way of the dinosaur, recently. There is  a supposed upgrade available, but before shelling out nine bucks, plus shipping, I thought I'd give a drugstore brand a try, and see if I could save a few dollars. Hey, every little bit helps.

First up, Neutrogena Hydrating Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes. $6.99, Drugstore.com. 

The first thing I noticed about these wipes was the pull-tab opening. I hate pull-tab openings. In this case, you pull a sticker back to expose the wipes. In time, these stickers tend to lose their "stick", and leave you with an open package and a bunch of dried or drying wipes. The second thing I noticed was the smell. The wipes have a very strong, very distinct cucumber fragrance. It's not unpleasant, but it is persistent. Hours after using a wipe, applying moisturizer, and piling on my makeup (it was early, I had dark circles. Do not judge me), I could still smell the cucumber. Honestly, I'm getting a little sick of it.

As for the wipe itself...I love it. It takes off every trace of makeup, including mascara and eyeliner (though a little "loosening up" with eye makeup remover is necessary if I've used Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion. That stuff is tough!), and leaves your skin feeling cool and noticeably hydrated. My skin is actually shiny, but not greasy, right after I use the wipe. The shine does evaporate momentarily, though. 

Final Verdict: I'm giving these an 8 out of 10. They're awesome wipes, but the smell is killing me.

Speaking of hydration, I'm sure some of you have skin that screaming for a little moisture, right now. The weather, combined with our awful gas heat, left poor Thomas' hands looking like he'd gone ten rounds with Rocky Balboa, sans gloves. We tried every lotion, cream, and balm imaginable, at every possible price point (thank you, samples), and the only thing that has even come close to fixing the problem has been a homemade spa treatment. Here it is, and I hope it works for you, too.

1. Apply a thick, rich lotion to your hands or feet. I like First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream. $28, Sephora.

2. Wrap hands or feet with plastic wrap. 

3. Place socks over the plastic wrap.

4. Feel silly.

5. Wait 15-30 minutes to allow the heat from the wrap and socks to help the lotion sink into your skin.

6. Remove socks and wrap, and apply another light coat of lotion.

7. Feel better.

Happy Whatever Day to all you lovelies!

I Can Hear "Before They Were Stars" Knocking Now...

Yesterday morning, a friend of mine posted a whole bunch of our high school pictures on Facebook. It was a hoot commenting on all the photos, catching up with old school chums, and giggling at how young we all looked, but I also spent most of the morning cringing.

 

Dear God. I was a dork. I...I had no idea.

 

I even commented as much (on one photo where I was the ONLY person doing an actual pose), and realized, from the replies, that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. We were all dorks. Girls were fussing about their makeup and clothes. Guys were embarrassed over the goofy faces they'd made. Luckily, we all seem to have grown out of the awkwardness, and we all have good senses of humor so we can look back and laugh.

 

Now, at the time these pictures were taken, we thought we looked good. None of us ever thought we'd be pointing and laughing at ourselves thirteen years later, but there we were. It makes sense, though. We were all very trend-conscious at the time, but styles change. The tucked in t-shirt look went out with the crimson lipstick and tawny eyeshadows. Chunky highlights are now just as passe as Y2K. I know that seventeen years from now, my little brother is going to look back on his pictures and wonder why in the heck no one told him that [insert trend here] looked stupid. I certainly wish someone had intervened on my baseball cap phase.

 

Today's highschoolers are tomorrow's chagrined adults. There's, unfortunately, nothing to be done about that. One of life's cruel jests, I'd say. However, I do have few tips that might soften the blow a bit.

 

1. Take care of your skin. This goes for boys and girls alike. Someday down the road, you might be laughing at the stupid Santa hat you wore to the class party, but at least your skin will look good--both the picture and in the present. My suggestion is Biore Blemish Fighting Ice Cleanser. It's what I used all through high school, and worked like a charm. It wards off acne, leaves a cooling sensation, and doesn't dry skin. I used to leave it on for a couple of minutes, like a mask, and never worried about breakouts. $7.99, Drugstore.com.

 

2. Get a haircut! Seriously. Find a stylist that you trust, and get a good, classic cut that requires minimal effort to maintain. You're not going to want to blow-out or curl your hair every morning, are you? Then, keep your locks in top notch shape with a good shampoo and conditioner. This set from Sephora boasts a hydrating shampoo, leave in conditioner, dry shampoo (for when you oversleep, or for after P.E.), hairspray, and the argan oil that my hair stylist swears by. $30, Sephora. 

 

3. Fix your face (but keep it classy). Nothing dates a picture like makeup. Watch an episode of season one Buffy, the original 90210, or the first movie in the Scream series, and check out all the brown makeup. Eyeshadow, blush, lipstick...everything was muddy. The 60s had doe eyes. The 70s were all about nudes. The 80s were...well, a technicolor disaster. I don't know what's going to date today's makeup, but I can assure you that a fresh-faced, clean look is always in style. This set from Bare Escentuals comes with a brightening face primer for luminous skin, eyeshadow in a flattering peachy tone that wakes up the eye area, a youthful pink blush, volumizing mascara, a golden-toned pink-grapefruit lipgloss, and blending brush, plus instructions from the pros on how to apply everything. $39, Sephora. Girls on the go might want to try Sephora's own makeup palette to go. It's about the size of an iPhone, and holds eight versatile, coordinating eyeshadows, four glosses, and a peachy blush (comparable to NARS Orgasm). It's only $15, and $1 of each pretty pink palette sold goes to Breast Cancer research.

Good luck, kids. Just remember to be yourselves, and hone that sense of humor. 

Seriously Skinny Jeans and a Cheap Trick

Jeans shopping is of the Devil. I'm certain of it. My own private version of Hell is stuck in a dressing room, forced to try on pair after pair of jeans, alternated with bathing suits, all the while listening to my own singing on the mall speakers (never have liked listening to or watching myself perform). Unfortunately, the button to a pair of jeans that I really loved broke off in the washer, leaving irreparable damage, and my back up pair were too short and too flared. They looked terrible, and made me look downright dumpy. No, thank you.

So, there I am, stuck in the mall, attempting to find a pair of jeans that don't suck. I wanted dark-rinsed straight-legged. No skinny jeans; I have jeggings, thank you. No bootcut--EVER! Nothing destroyed or deconstructed. Nothing with an elastic waist-band or pleating, and please, God, no camo. I just wanted some nice, normal, dark-rinsed, straight-legged jeans. Preferably something with a little detailing. That's all.

You would not believe how tall that order was, especially when I added that I needed them in my size. You'd have thought I'd asked for world peace and calorie-free chocolate! However, after an exhaustive search, I found one (1) pair that fit the bill. Here's a brief rundown of that Holy Grail of jeans.

I ended up with the Slender Secret Emily Straight Leg Jean by Lee, now $29.99, Lee.com. They had the color I wanted, in the straight leg style that I needed, so that, right there, was a plus. There were even little sparkles on the rear pockets, and I love anything that sparkles. What really sold me on these, though, was the "Slender Secret" part. The jeans were created with a stretch denim that acts like a body shaper. It sucks you in, and puts the curves in the right places. Fabulous. Even better, unlike a body shaper, these jeans are really comfortable. There's so much stretch to the fabric that your movement is completely uninhibited. To this fan of sitting cross-legged on the floor, that's a major selling point. There's also no gap in the back. I have a curvy figure with a tiny waist. Trying to find jeans that are big enough for the curves, but still fit in the waist has always been a challenge. These actually fit the bill.

Now, I haven't washed these jeans, yet (this is the first time I've worn them, actually), so they're still a little fresh-from-the-store looking. I prefer my jeans to look a little more lived in. I'm hoping, though, that after a couple of washes, they'll break in a bit. They're also a little higher in the waist than I'm used to. These are labled "lower on the waist". There are also "just below the waist" and "at the waist" styles. When I am standing up, these hit just below my belly button. I'm used to jeans that hit about an inch lower, so this is a new experience. My question, though, is if this is "lower", just how high up do these jeans go?

Final Verdict: They're not "Mom Jeans". Not by a long shot. They're also not for girls who enjoy wearing midriff shirts. These are somewhere in between...like me.

Photo Credit: E.L.F.

Okay, I know I haven't done a Cheap Trick post in forever, so here you go. From now until February 13th (Sunday), you can pick up ten (10) free mineral eyeshadows with a $25 purchase at eyeslipsface.com. Normally, these shadows are $3 a piece, so that's a stellar deal, folks. The eyeshadows, themselves, are really nice, too. Sheer, ultra sparkly with minimal fallout, and easily blendable. I could ask for a little more pigmentation, but for $3 (or free, in this case), you can't go wrong. If you've been wanting to try some Spring brights (or my favorite, Caffeinated), now's your chance. The promo code is 10FREE.

Now, if you're trying to decide what to spend your $25 on...BRUSHES!! Elf has amazing brushes in the Studio line, and this the perfect time to stock up. Honestly, they're all I use. They're sleek black, professional looking, with soft, durable bristles. I would be lost without the "C" brush, personally. Also, do yourself a favor and get the artist's belt, too. It's great if you have limited counter space. Brushes are $3 each, and the belt is $15. Eyeslipsface.com.

Who Knew the Dark Side Was So Cute?

Yeah, I'm late to the party (as per usual), but I couldn't help but talk about little Max Page, the baby Vader in the Volkswagen Super Bowl ad.

 

In case you're even more behind than I am, here's the spot:

Now, I'm sure you'll be shocked to know that Thomas and I skipped watching the Super Bowl (*gasp*), so I actually stumbled across this thanks to a friend's Facebook post. After about two solid minutes of cracking up, I calmed down, caught my breath, and found Thomas to show him. The commercial's cute, but it's this kid's reactions that really sold it for me. Thomas was convinced it was a very small adult, and that a child couldn't possibly have pulled that off. How wrong he was...

 

Max Page is six years old, and just as cute as a bug. It should come as no surprise that he's a veteran actor, with commercial spots for Walgreen's and Clear Channel under his...um, hood, and a recurring role as Reed Hellstrom on The Young and the Restless. His mother told Today that she originally thought this would be his first national commercial spot. It wasn't until halfway through filming that the family was told Max would be in a Super Bowl ad. The popularity of the ad has been a pleasant, albeit overwhelming surprise.  

 

"I can't even keep up with the messages and the calls," says Jennifer, Max's mom. "It's just overwhelming. The first night, [web hits] were at 60,000. I went to bed and the next morning it was at 1 million. My mind couldn't comprehend!"

 

A couple of interesting facts about young Padawan Max are that he has a congenital heart defect, and has used a pacemaker since he was three months old. He also has, believe it or not, NEVER SEEN A STAR WARS MOVIE!!! How can this be? Someone get this child a copy of Episode IV, stat!!

 

Also, who's with me in thinking he looks a bit like a tiny Mark Hamil? Anyone? Bueller?

Photo Credit: Today

 

Okay, so on a totally unrelated note, I think I may have finally found a shaving cream that I like almost as much as the Soap & Glory that is now, unfortunately, no longer available in the states. (You may recall my overly melodramatic lamentations here.) However, I do have an update that S&G may be back in the good ol' U.S. of A. in September 2011. No word on who's distributing, but they promise to keep the shelves fully stocked, unlike Target. Apparently, my local stores weren't the only ones with empty shelves.

 

Anyhoo, until the S&G shows back up, I'm really enjoying eos (Evolution of Smooth) Shave Cream in Pomegranate Raspberry. For this review, I thought I'd go with a Pro/Con list. There's so much good about this, but the bad is, well, really bad.

 

PRO:

Lovely texture. It's silky, like a body lotion, and leaves almost a light glaze on your legs. It shaves away easily, and leaves no residue.

 

Wonderful scent. I love raspberry, so this was a nice treat. However, it's not so overpowering that you can't use your favorite moisturizer or perfume later for fear of mixing. (Vanilla is wonderful, too, but I've not tried any of the other varieties). 

 

Close shave. I am smooth and soft, with nary a nick. Really, I think this is the most important part.

 

Heavy duty plastic container. I love the design of this container. The lid stays on tightly, the pump is large enough for wet fingers to manage, and the shatterproof bottle has grips hewn into the side. Most shaving cream cans tend to be metal, and leave little rust rings on your tub. This won't do that. Plus, it's just darling to look at.

 

So...basically, it's a fantastic shaving cream in a really easy to use pump that won't leave rust on your tub. So far, so good.

 

BAD:

Clogs blades. However, you can rinse it out fairly easily. Bad, but not horrible.

 

Can't tell when you're running low. The container is solid plastic and not see-through, so there's no way to tell, by looking, if you need to add another one to the shopping list. The cream itself is very lightweight, so there's also no real difference in the heft of the bottle as it runs out. I've found myself in a pickle before, from running out with zero notice. I now keep a spare in the cabinet, just in case.

 

Bottle doesn't hold a lot of product. You only need one pump per leg, but one bottle won't get you very far. I'd estimate I replace a bottle every three weeks, give or take. I replaced my S&G about twice a year.

 

Price point. The actual price varies (widely) by store. I've purchased bottles at both Target and Walgreen's brick and mortar shops for somewhere in the $3-$4 range, which I think is a little high. Drugstore.com has it listed at $5.29, which is flat-out ridiculous for such a small amount of shaving cream, especially if you have to buy two at a time to keep from being left in a lurch. The best deal I've found is actually on the eos website. You can buy any of the scents you want for $3.49 each, and they'll throw in a free Bic Soleil razor. Keep in mind, though, shipping is a flat rate of $2.75, so if you only buy one bottle, it'll cost you $6.24. Of course, if you buy more than one at a time (recommended) it's not so bad.

 

All in all, it's the best shaving cream I've been able to find since the whole S&G debacle. I've been able to live with the flaws because the actual product itself is exactly what I wanted: a light, non-foaming, non-greasy, moisturizing lotion that gives a clean, nick-free shave. Final Verdict: 6.5 out of 10, but come September, the real judgement will commence.