How Much Longer Till AARP?

It's my birthday!!! I'm old!!!

Yep, it's official. I am now "over thirty". I am "in my thirties". Yay? Well, it beats the alternative, I suppose.

It's said that with age comes wisdom. Normally, I'd argue that I've met plenty of folks who could be categorized as both ignorant and elderly, but this particular birthday has proven to be a learning experience. For instance, in the past twenty-four hours, I have learned:

• A coke bottle, if dropped at just the right angle, can cause a major explosion that rattles windows and causes people to run for cover, and a two-liter coke bottle contains enough liquid to cover the floor, walls, furniture, and ceilings of two rooms, and still have a little bit left in the bottle.

• Jefferson Davis' birthday is a state holiday in Alabama. It's celebrated on the first Monday in June, and all government offices, including the DMV, are closed. My license expires tomorrow.

but most importantly:

• People give you free stuff.

Seriously. Here is a sampling of some of the freebies that you, too, can enjoy on your womb-eviction day:

Starbucks: register any reloadable gift card at Starbucks.com, and receive a free drink of your choice as a birthday gift. You won't actually get it on your special day, but a coupon will be mailed to you sometime around that date.

Lenny's Sub Shop: sign up for the Substantial Rewards program and receive a coupon for a free regular sized sub on your birthday.

Sephora: sign up for the Beauty Insider program and receive a special gift with purchase during the four weeks surrounding your birthday. This year, it's Philosophy Shampoo, Shower Gel and Bubble Bath in Vanilla Cupcake.

Smashbox: sign up for Pretty Points and receive a special gift with purchase during your birth month. This year it's a cream blush and lipgloss in a little clear pouch.

Skechers: join the VIP club, and receive 15% off any purchase on your birthday.

Those are some of the best offers I've found, and they won't spam your inbox (maybe one email a week from each). I'll try to update this list as I learn about new offers.

Maybe getting older and wiser is more fun that I thought.