Do I Wave a White Flag, Or Should It Be Red and Green?

The holidays have attacked, and I think they're winning.  For starters, you can't walk through my dining room.  It looks like The Nightmare Before Christmas threw up in there.  I have boxes of ornaments and wreaths, a lighted Victorian village, and a limbless skeleton torso all occupying the same space.  No, I haven't forgotten to put away the Halloween decorations.  The skeleton is leftover from the indie movie I did, and I have absolutely no idea where to put him.  The only other place I have available is the bathroom, and that's not going to happen, thank you very much.

My kitchen is stocked with Thanksgiving ingredients, and I've been on what has turned into a quest for Mexican vanilla for the sopapilla cheesecake pie I'm making to take to my mother's house.  I spent this morning cleaning so I can decorate for Christmas, and my office is having a Thanksgiving dessert buffet (bye bye, diet!).  I've also been looking up Black Friday sales for myself and my best friend, so we can plan our attack and hopefully avoid getting bludgeoned to death at Wal-Mart.  Oh, and in my free time (ha!), I'll be planning music for what I thought was an informal Christmas concert, but, turns out, it's a big silent auction fundraiser.  Who knew?  Pre-recorded tracks are not my favorite accompaniment, but this is a nursing home, and they don't have a playable piano.  On top of that, Sunday is the first week of Advent, and when you work in the music department of a big uber-Catholic church, Advent and Lent become your two least favorite times of the year.  Sure, the music's pretty, but there's a ton of it, and pieces can change up until the last minute.  I'm not complaining (plus, by now, I no longer have a repertoire.  I have an arsenal), but I am feeling the stress. 

So, here's my plan.  I'm signing up for all the email sale alerts, deciding that regular vanilla will work just fine, singing whatever I can find at the local Karaoke shop (yes, we have one.  I can't find Mexican vanilla, but I can find music tracks to Boogie Oogie Oogie), tossing the skeleton back in the trunk of my car, getting a great big bottle of Riesling, and letting the chips fall where they may.  Bring it on, Holiday Season.  I'm ready.

Here's a little treat for all of you, courtesy of Awkward Family Photos.  I ran across this last year, and I can only thank God that I'm not a part of this family.  As far as I know, this is a real letter that was sent out in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner a couple of years ago.  All I can say is that I'm a proud Amy Misto, and I'd be telling Marney just where she could shove her regulation casserole dish.  Enjoy!
From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.

2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).

3. Toppings for the ice cream.

4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.

2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.

2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon

3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.

4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.

2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.

2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)