Wigging Out: How To Make Your Halloween Costume Wig Look Less Terrible

With Halloween rapidly approaching (and Christmas rapidly attacking, but don't get me started on that. We'll save that for another rant.), I'm sure at least a few of you are planning costumes, and that some of those costumes are going to need wigs...

...and that Halloween wigs suck.

I'm sorry, but they do. I'd imagine it has a lot to do with the fact that they're shoved in flat plastic bags (and that they tend to be poorly made to begin with...), but they never look anywhere remotely close to what's pictured on the model. Of course, when the price is low, I'm not going to expect too much, and I'm certainly not going to complain. The higher-priced ones irk me, but, again, that's another rant for another time.

Anyhoo, the point of this post is to give you some tips on styling your own cruddy party-store wig into something you'd actually be okay instagramming at a party. These are not "pro tips", but are some things you can do without having to buy (too much) special equipment. Heck, I'm not an expert. I wouldn't even know where to begin styling a high-quality wig. I have, on the other hand, had plenty of experience dealing with cheap synthetics.

So, a few weeks back, Thomas and I filmed a short about goofy supervillains. One of our actresses was supposed to be very glamorous in a retro-sixties way, and while she's gorgeous, I had no idea what I was going to do with her hair. It's absolutely lovely--don't get me wrong, this girl is stunning--but Thomas wanted a very specific look that would require extensions and pieces and about an hour longer than I had. I lost sleep over this, guys. Then, the heavens opened and the angels sang, and this appeared in the Halloween aisle at Target:

Yeah...it sucks. But it was eight bucks, and I could take as long as I needed to style it. You know, as long as "as long as I needed" was less than about 14 hours. I didn't find it until the day before the shoot.

To start, I pulled the wig out of the bag and surveyed the damage. It was...rough. I tried it on, and the bangs were completely uneven and reached my chin, with longer strands dangling lower. The waves and curls were practically non-existent, and what was there was scraggly. That said, the construction of the wig wasn't terrible. The layers were ugly, but they were even, and the color was beautiful. This was definitely a workable situation. I grabbed a hairbrush and started trying to unsnarl the knots.

Now, they do make wig combs for styling, but on a cheapie wig like this, I don't see the point in spending the extra money. I used a regular brush on my hair pieces for theatre, and those were worn and re-styled a lot. I never had any trouble with them, other than some shedding. As it was, this wig came out of the bag shedding. I worked in sections from the bottom up, brushed gently, and did not try to brush directly from root to end. Sure, I did end up with a tribble's worth of fake red hair in my brush in the end, but the hair didn't come out in clumps, or anything like that. In other words, use your own judgement. If you'd feel better using the pro brush, go for it. I just, personally, didn't see a need.

Once the knots were untangled, I set to work styling. First, I grabbed a wig head (mine was from Hobby Lobby, and I think around $10) and pinned the wig in place using big straight pins with colorful ball tips. I wanted to be able to find them easily when time came to put the wig on the actress. Then, I just started styling the hair as if on a real person.

The thing to remember is that this is not real hair. Synthetic hair is plastic and rather thick. It'll hold its shape pretty well without gel or mousse, or anything like that. Also curling irons and hot rollers (and heat implements, in general) will melt the strands. You can tease the hair to a certain extent, and you can roll it by misting sections with water, rolling on foam curlers, and allowing to dry. You can pin it, you can braid it, you can manipulate it into whatever style you choose, just don't use heat or products. Here's a picture of mine on the stand, rollers still in place: 

For this look, I kept the existing middle part and divided three sections off of it. These were clipped out of the way while I teased the crown into a bouffant. I wrapped the middle divided section over the teased portion and pinned the ends under to create the pouf. Then, I pinned the front sections around that, hiding all pins as I went. The ends were misted with water, then twisted and rolled on satin-covered foam rollers (from Sally Beauty Supply) to create waves, and then the bangs were trimmed to a more reasonable length, with the intention of finishing the trim once the wig was on the actress (and we all know about good intentions...). I added the headband the actress would wear to make sure the placement was about what I wanted.

As luck would have it, I wasn't even in the same building as the actress when the wig went on, and wasn't able to even see it in place until shooting had already started and it was too late to trim the bangs any further. Here is a really lousy, heavily cropped, way too dark shot of the actress wearing the wig:

Why yes, that is a clown on her left and a gorilla on her right. Why do you ask?

And here's the promo photo from the short. They're channeling The Breakfast Club. I think the wig looks particularly nice here:

Should anyone else need to wear this, I can wash it. I would have to be very careful with the pouf, since I really don't want to have to do that again, and it would definitely have to be re-curled, but washing these kinds of wigs is not a problem. Just use cool water and a very mild soap, like baby shampoo. Again, there are special wig shampoos out there, and you can use those if you want, of course, but the baby shampoo will work just as well, and it's a little more readily available.

So, in conclusion, here are the basic tips again:

• If you use a regular hairbrush, start at the ends and work your way up. Avoid putting any stress on the roots. You can also use a professional wig comb, available at Sally Beauty and any number of online retailers for fairly cheap.
• Do not use hair products. A little finishing hairspray is okay, but nothing else is necessary. It'll hold on its own.
• DO NOT USE HEAT! EVER! THE HAIR WILL MELT!
• Curl the wig by misting with water and rolling on foam curlers. Allow to air dry.
• You can cut the wig, if necessary.
• You can wash the wig with cool water and baby shampoo. Allow to air-dry, then re-style.

I hope this helped! Have a great Halloween, and be sure to share any cool wig pics in the comments.

What's In the BAG??!!!!!!

*Editor's Note: This post was originally planned to contain a list of fake spoilers to The Dark Knight Rises, such as, "We finally answer the question: Whose baby are you, Batgirl?", and silliness like that. Unfortunately, in light of this morning's tragedy, it seemed in poor taste. Instead, I kind of threw together a look at what goes into my set bag when I'm acting on location. My thoughts and prayers are in Colorado today. Thank you, Erin.

Might I offer a cute puppy?

________________________________________________________________________________

This morning, I had the extreme pleasure of hanging out on the set of Today's Homeowner with Danny Lipford. It's a nationally-syndicated home improvement show (think: Tool Time from Home Improvement) that's filmed in my town, and I was called in to help product test a popular "As Seen On TV" item. Of course, if you want to know what it is, or if it worked, you'll have to tune in to the 15th season premier! (And I will totally tell you when that is, when I find out. Probably should have asked...oops...)

For this, I was doing my own hair, makeup, and wardrobe, so I needed to make sure I had a few essentials on-hand, in case any adjustments needed to be made, and for touch-ups, in general. I didn't take much, so this shouldn't be a super-long post; the long post will come when I show you the same set bag, only when I'm in the producer's role. Hoo, boy!

This is the set bag. It's from Open Sky, and I can't recommend it enough. It goes for $28, but I had a coupon for $20 off a purchase of $40 or more, plus free shipping, so I added a $12 makeup bag to the order, and got both for $20. You can't beat that with a stick. Seriously, if you haven't checked out Open Sky, you need to. You can see there's an outside pocket where the "ful" logo is, and there's a side pocket, too, just large enough for a water bottle or sunglasses.

Here's a shot of the inside. The center section is a zippered pouch. The top compartment is very roomy, and the bottom compartment (also roomy) has another zippered pouch and several small sleeves for pens, cards, and whatnot. Construction of the tote is extremely sturdy, and the handles are comfortable on your shoulder.

So, what's inside? In the bottom compartment, I have some extra hold hairspray (Aussie Freeze + Shine), a Marilyn teasing comb, a hairbrush, and a ponytail holder and bobby pins (not pictured). In the center pouch, I have a makeup bag (the $12 one. Why not?). The top compartment holds a bag for miscellaneous stuff. Really, that's just there for when I'm managing other actors' personal effects. I can hold onto my own keys and phone in my own bag without putting it inside another bag first. Probably.

The makeup bag is a Jane Marvel, and is coated in plastic inside and out, so it's durable and super easy to clean. I thought the silver sequins would A) make it stand out in a sea of makeup bags when I'm backstage or behind the scenes, and B) allow it to double as a clutch if we're on vacation and go somewhere nice. No sense packing an extra "in case of emergency" purse if you can avoid it.

So, what's in the makeup bag? Not much, actually: dental floss, a travel brush/mirror, Burt's Bees lip balm, travel brush pack, Revlon Lip Butter in Peach Parfait, Luna Twilight palette in Rosalie, and a Rimmel pressed powder. Oh, and a lipbrush. I missed that. Basically, it's just the essentials.

This is the look I came up with for the shoot today. Because it's a home improvement show, I needed to keep things natural and minimal. (I also needed to find someone else to take this picture for me. I know I say it every time, but boy, do I suck at self-photography.) However, because it's a television program with lights and cameras (and action! I'm sorry...), I had to make sure it would show up. Here's the result:

I won't bore you with every product used. The main components were a good, full-coverage foundation (MAC Studio Sculpt), setting powder (Rimmel Stay Matte transluscent), an HD finishing powder (E.L.F. HD Powder). Then, I just had to make sure that I had enough color to keep from being washed out, and that all features were defined. A little contouring and highlighting keeps the face from appearing flat on camera, too. And, yes, I curled my hair. Couldn't go on tv with it all scraggly, now, could I?

If you'd like the full details on my on-camera look, let me know in the comments. Thanks!

I Left My Heart In San Diego

I am not at Comic-Con right now, and I'm not particularly happy about it. Nope. Not happy.at.all. Luckily, I can keep up with the shenanigans and goings-on by checking out my friend Aaron's posts over at Paranormal Pop Culture, and I encourage you to do the same. It's a fun read, and a great way to stay in the loop.

We're filming this weekend, actually, so even if I could be at the con, I really couldn't (if that makes any sense). On the plus side, I'll still get to see my fair share of undead creatures, aliens, and mini-skirts. Heck, I'll even get to wear a costume...that includes a mini-skirt, come to think of it. And while I don't have a "con bag" this year, I will have a "set bag", and oh, what a set bag it is!! I am so excited over this stupid tote bag, it's ridiculous. I'll do a full review on it and take pictures once I get it all stocked and ready to roll, but here's a teaser (how very Comic-Con):



Photo Credit: Open Sky

If you're at the big show, have a wonderful (and safe, please!) time! If you're not...well, you're not alone. 

Not Just For Air-Conditioners and Prom Dresses Anymore

I am a firm believer in duct tape. I've used it to spike stages, hold up green screens, re-attach a co-star's head (sorry, Herbie), replace a suitcase wheel (that one took some doing), create the form for a dummy...pretty much anything you could think of. I've also seen my share of duct tape fashions. Heck, the folks at Duck Duct Tape host a contest every year to see who has the best duct tape Prom attire, and let me just say, those kids go all out, and come up with some extremely creative entries. Unfortunately, most of the duct tape accessories I've seen floating around the web have been a little...well, bland. Cute, but kind of plain. Then, this showed up on my Facebook feed:

Photo Credit (This and All): Kenzie Tapia

That is decidedly not bland. Here's a close-up of the flower detail, along with the inner pocket and lining:

This cutie was made by Kenzie Tapia, an artist and dance teacher. I love her choice of colors, and the floral touch sends this purse from crafty to couture. It's just darling, and the second I saw it, I knew I had to share it with you guys. Here's my other favorite, the matching ruffled wallet:

Squee!! Those little ruffles are so sweet, and the duct tape gives them an almost leather-like appearance. Of course, it's fully functional, with pockets for cards and a cash compartment.

If you are interested in seeing more of Kenzie's work and maybe picking up an item or two, please check out her Facebook page. Also, if you guys know of any independent artists that you would like to see featured on Adorable Napalm, please let me know. We're all in this together!

Brainy Beauty

Today, I'm celebrating being alive (and compensating for a horrible hair day) by wearing a precious, handmade headband, featuring a cute little purple felt zombie face. I bought it at an Art Walk, from a really sweet local artist who, sadly, does not have an online shop, even though she's awesome and most definitely should. Anyway, I did some looking and came up with a next-best option for you guys:

Photo Credit: Janine Basil

Those are the cutest brains ever!! This headband (also available in pink) is $23 plus shipping, and comes from Etsy artist Janine Basil. It's quirky, unexpected, and surprisingly wearable. Visit Janine's shop here.

Voglio il mio Missoni!

This Fall, Target is expanding upon its budget-friendly designer goods base with the addition of Italian brand, Missoni. I'm tickled.

Photo Credit (This and Below): Racked

Granted, I'm not normally a bold, multi-colored print kind of girl, but I adore sweaters and anything sweater-like, so this is right up my alley. Sweater knit tights, arm warmers, socks, scarves, hats...you name it. I may have to just wear one or two pieces at a time, though. The outfit on the model above, while cute as a bug, is kind of making my eyes twitch. There will even be home items, such as this bowl that I'm currently obsessing over. It kind of matches my kitch...um...dining r...okay, so it doesn't go with a dead-gum thing in my house, but I may just re-decorate around it.

The collection hits Target stores September 13th, with prices ranging from $2.99 to $599.99 (for a patio set; don't panic). Most items will be under $40. For a sneak peek at the entire collection, click here. It's bright, colorful, and screams Fall. I can't wait!

When iPads Break, Puppies Cry

I'm what you might call "behind the times". Yes, I have an iPod. The last time I updated it was...um...I want to say Ought-Six. I'm currently carting around the tome that is the seventh Harry Potter novel instead of a cute little Nook or Kindle, and I'm fairly certain my smartphone would trump me on an IQ test. All this is to say (please don't hurt me), I don't have an iPad.

I promise, I'm not going all hipster on you. I don't ever intend to go back to the manual typewriter I learned on, even for some ironic reason, like "I'm above technology, so I'll bang on these old keys while listening to vinyl, next to my television set that I've turned into a planter". No, thank you. I like my laptop, my Droid, and my interwebs. I'm just not good with technology (it hates me), so I've been slow to jump on the whole iPad bandwagon. Maybe if I traveled more...or were better at touch screens...and didn't drop everything I touch...

In any case, a lot of you out there have iPads, and frankly, I'm a little jealous of your technical prowess, and wish to live vicariously through you for a bit, so I compiled a few of my favorite iPad cases for your viewing pleasure and shopping convenience. You're welcome.

I adore this little Super Mario Bros.-inspired case. It's a 1-Up shroom, and completely precious. The HoobyGroovy Etsy shop has other gamer designs, as well, including a red shroom, a goomba, and a ridiculously cute Yoshi. $49.95, Etsy.

Photo Credit: HoobyGroovy

This next one gets props for cleverness. Made in the same factory as the toy, this Etch-A-Sketch case not only protects your device from breakage, but also acts as a very low-tech theft deterrent* by asking, "who would steal an Etch-A-Sketch?" It's spot-on, and when paired with the Etch-A-Sketch app, a fun little trip down memory lane. $39.99, ThinkGeek.

Photo Credit: ThinkGeek

I don't care how old I get, I'm always going to be a sucker for two things: sparkle and Sanrio. I love me some Hello Kitty. This is temporarily out of stock on Amazon, but normally it retails for around $25.

Photo Credit: Amazon

Now, here's one I can afford! It's a DIY case made from a kitchen drawer liner, colorful duct tape, and velcro. It's super-cute, and shouldn't take more than a few minutes to make. Plus, it's completely custom, so it's completely your personality! I seriously may make one for my laptop.

Photo Credit: The FashionStake Blog

Okay, now back to trying to figure out how to get the pictures off my phone and onto my computer. This could take a while...

*Seriously, people. Don't leave your iPad unattended. That's just begging for trouble, cute case or no.

And the Winner Is....

Magnolia!!

Granted, she was the only one who entered...but that doesn't make her entry any less cool! Actually, even if we'd had dozens of entries, this one still would have caught my attention, and possibly even won! It's really quite impressive.

So, without further ado, I give you: Magnolia's CHALLENGE! Winning Entry!

First, a reminder of the amazing six-dollar dress:

Photo Credit: Old Navy

The challenge was to accessorize the dress so that it would be suitable for a casual cocktail party. You see, my birthday is coming up (faster than I'd like), and while I'm not having a throwdown party, I am having dinner with a few close friends. This is the dress I'm planning to wear, and folks, I was stumped. I now have a clue what to do, and I'd like to thank Magnolia for all of her help. Now, onto the winning design!

Photo Credit: The Limited

I love this necklace. The strands are so delicate, but the stones make a strong statement. This is a confident, rockin' piece, but also one that's casual enough for a poolside BBQ. $32.90, The Limited.

Photo Credit: The Limited

What would the necklace be without matching earrings? These provide just enough laid-back sparkle to compliment a loose Summer up-do. $19.90, The Limited.

Photo Credit: J. Crew

These shoes come in black and rose, as well, but I love how the metallic mushroom plays off of the natural colored stones in the jewelry. It's also close enough to skin tone to elongate legs. Plus, nothing says Summer like a flip-flop, and these are just dressy enough. $26.50, J. Crew.

Congratulations, Magnolia!! Now, I just need to go shopping...Happy Birthday to me!

Creepy, Kooky Cuties

This past Saturday night's episode of Doctor Who was written by none other than the uber-talented Neil Gaiman. I was already a fan of his without even knowing it--I have a Coraline doll on my shelf. Never thought to ask who created her--but after the perfection that was this episode, I'm going to have to look up all of his work.

One thing I have noticed about his style, just in the little bit I've consciously taken in, is that he finds beauty in the odd and creepy. The entire episode was very dark and eerie, but also a visual candy store. There's very little I can say without spoilers, but this had to have been a treat for the costume and art departments.

With the thought of finding beauty in the creepy, I took a little trip to one of my favorite online stores, Plasticland, to do a little quirky hunting.

Photo Credit (this and all): Plasticland

I'm not a big fan of skulls. Yeah, I know, I just made a movie with a talking skeleton (who now resides in my closet. How apropos?), but I've never been a big fan of them...until this came along. The flowers for eyes, the subdued cobweb detailing...I kind of want one. Granted, it's ridiculously expensive for a vinyl wallet, but it could be a fun splurge if we ever sell this blasted film. $32, Plasticland.

How could I not mention the matching purse? This 13"x9"x6" satchel is made from vegan-friendly, pebble-textured vinyl. How precious are the little hearts inside the crossbones?! The rose motif adds a celebratory Dia de los Muertos vibe. This is currently out of stock, but more should be in around mid-June. $59, Plasticland.

There are tons more creepy, adorable, funny, and retro-fabulous items on the site. If you're feeling a little down, take a trip over there. It's a guaranteed pick me up.

A Monthly Gift You Can Actually Look Forward To

I have never joined the Columbia Music Club to get ten CDs for a penny. Kim Kardashian can keep her monthly shoe choice, and please, for the love of God, don't sign me up for the Jelly of the Month Club. I have enough bills to deal with that the last thing I need to do is add another one to the pile. That said, were I to do just that, Jewelmint is the club I'd have to join.

 

Now, I blame Facebook for this. Had I not felt the need to find out what random activities people I don't know were up to, I never would have seen the ad on the side of the page. Also, had they not worded the ad to make me think the sparklies in the picture were, in reality, candy, I never would have clicked on it. I mean, I like candy, and I like sparklies, so sparkly candy would be awesome, right? Well, I think it would.

 

Anyway, sad to say, there is no candy on the site. I know, it's a bummer. Instead, this is a site for an accessory of the month club; a really good accessory of the month club.

 

Actress Kate Bosworth teamed up with stylist Cher Coulter to bring us a completely customized shopping experience. I have to admit, it's pretty cool. Here's how it works:

 

• You sign up (took 30 seconds, if that). Name, email, and password of your choice.
• They present you with a series of questions about your personal style. You pick the picture or word that best answers each question. It's fun, a little silly, and good timewaster. I'd guess it took about five minutes to complete the quiz.
• They present you with your result (I'm classic, refined, elegant, and sophisticated. I "dress to impress". Yeah, I'll go with that). If you like the result, press continue. If you don't, take the quiz again.
• When you like your result, you'll continue on to your showroom, where personalized, exclusive jewelry picks are waiting for you. You can save favorites (and tell them why you like the pieces), view styling tips, learn the inspiration for each piece, and even get suggestions on where to wear them.
• Lastly, you can either purchase a piece for $29.99, or opt to skip the month and be charged nothing. Easy peasy.

 

There's no charge until you make your first purchase, and after that, you have until the 5th of each month to pass. If you miss the pass date, that's okay. You'll be charged, but you can hang onto that credit until you find something you do like. There's also an option to share the site with friends, and earn a free piece of jewelry with each referral who makes a purchase. On top of all that, shipping is free. In my opinion, this is a fantastic deal.

 

Oh, in case you're wondering, the jewelry is absolutely gorgeous. Some pieces are very elegant, others more bohemian or modern, but all are unique. I've got my eye on a couple of pieces right now. If I ever find myself with some extra spending money, there's a layered gold chain set with my name on it. It'll look amazing with t-shirts.

Gift Guide: The Pin-Up Girl

Hello, again!  It's Friday, and that means it's time for the weekly Gift Guide!  Every Friday, from now until Christmas, I'll be spotlighting gifts for a specific demographic.  Today, I give you:  The Pin-Up Girl!  That uber-cool girl with a quirky, retro sense of style and the self-confidence to pull it off. 
 
You can't go wrong with a nice set of hair flowers.  Orchids, roses, lilies...whatever.  They all look amazing, and if they sparkle, even better.  This is a set of two orange orchids, drenched in glitter and held in place with a duckbill clip.  $18, pinupgirlclothing.com.



Photo Credits:  Above and Below
pinupgirlclothing.com



Gloves are a Winter staple, to begin with, but these keep you warm and fashionable at the same time.  These are vintage-inspired, with ruffle, bead, and floral trim.  Available in Cream, Black, and Red.  $12, pinupgirlclothing.com. 

Lastly, you can't send a glamour girl out into the world with no way to fix her face.  Here is a retro-inspired vinyl powder clutch.  It makes me think of bowling alleys and diners--in the best way possible.  $36, pinupgirlclothing.com. 

Since we're on a pin-up kick today, I thought I'd share a product review of Smashbox's new kit, based on looks from the new movie Burlesque.  $35, Sephora. 

According to Sephora:

Designed to re-create theatrical looks featured in the film "Burlesque," In Theaters November 24, about a small town girl trying to make it big in Hollywood, this provocative collection of sexy shades will bring out your inner starlet.

The kit includes one eyeshadow/liner quad in Risque (pink, pink beige, eggplant, and a cool gray cream eyeliner), one Limitless Liquid Liner Pen in Jet Black, one Double-Ended Lipgloss in Peep/Show (cotton candy/raspberry), one Loose Shimmer powder in Burlesque (golden pink), and instructions for one look.

Okay, on to the items individually:

The eyeshadow/liner quad was a pleasant surprise, actually.  I have another Smashbox quad, in all matte colors, and while the color payoff is fantastic, the texture's a wee bit chalky.  These colors are all shimmery (note:  not glitter chunks.  Just a nice gleam) with a silky smooth texture.  They go on evenly, and blend easily.  The liner can either be swept on for a defined look, or can be brushed on as a cream shadow for a sheer wash of color.  Again, application was a snap, and the color payoff is lovely.  All colors coordinate beautifully.  My only warning:  if you are not someone who normally wears pink and purple well, this kit is not for you.  However, if you like pink and wear it well, snap this up before it sells out.  It's a great price for a really high-quality product.

The liner was also a treat for me.  I'm not normally a liquid liner girl.  I'm a klutz, remember?  I tend to do better with a cream or gel liner, where I can take my time and use short strokes.  However, this one was practically foolproof!  The brush is so long, you can pretty much just lay it flat across your lashline and gently glide it where you need it to go.  The color is also the densest black I've seen in a while. 

The loose shimmer powder is really more like a super-super-super sparkly mineral eyeshadow.  It looks pink in the pot, but brushes on more of a colorless irridescent shimmer.  It's actually quite lovely, and makes a great highlighter.  I wouldn't use it on cheeks, though, because the glitter's a little too chunky.  Keep this one strictly around the eyes.

The lipgloss is a double-ended wand with a light baby pink on one end, and a deep raspberry color on the other.  Currently, I've only used the baby pink (it just came in yesterday.  Cut me some slack), and it's very sheer, nicely pigmented, moisturizing, and non-sticky.  It also lasted through lunch, which is a feat for a gloss.  It adds just enough oomph to make your lips look polished, but not overly done-up.  Basically, it's a great nude lip.

So, individually, everything's peachy, but how does it work as a whole?  The kit (which has way too much packaging for my taste.  Just thought I'd throw that out there) comes with instructions for one look.  Today, I followed those instructions and came out with a look that was (again) suprisingly wearable.  I expected it to be a little too theatrical (considering the inspiration) for the office, but I'm going out this evening and have no time to re-do my makeup, so I figured, "what the heck.  It's Friday, and I sit in a box.  No one sees me.  Who cares?"  Now, I'm sad no one sees me!  It's a really beautiful look!  Not too much for work, but fun enough for a night out.  The look they suggest calls for a mildly smoky eye, with pink on the lid, eggplant in the crease, a sheer wash of pink beige to blend it all together, liquid liner on top, and cream liner on bottom.  A little shimmer goes in the inside corners of the eyes.  Finish it off with the pink lipgloss.  This is perfect for everything from a holiday wedding or office party, down to dinner and a movie, on down to work or school.  I didn't think that was possible.

Of course, this is not a complete kit.  I look at it sort of like a cake mix.  Yes, the basic ingredients are there, but you don't open up the box and pull out a cake.  You need to add a few staples to get it to all gel, and then add a little icing on top to make it shine.

You'll need to add your own foundation, powder, blush, and mascara definitely.  After that, you might want to add concealer and eyebrow gel, and maybe a little luminizing powder on the cheeks, to really bring it over the top, but this is a great starter or inspiration kit for the holidays.

Hint, Hint. Wink, Wink. Honk, Honk. Say No More!

I'm a girly girl.  My cell phone is pink with a disco theme, and has alternating Lily Allen and Blondie ringtones.  My hot pink iPod has rhinestone earbuds, and while I don't have a Bedazzler, I do have jewel glue, and I know how use it.  But, even with all that, this is too girly for me.   

Yep.  Those are eyelashes.  On a car. 

And that's the crystal "eyeliner" (sold separately).

Photos by Turbo Style Products

Lord, help us.  These CarLashes were created by visual effects artist, Robert Small, who has contributed to the films Apollo 13 and Titanic, and the Universal Studios attraction Terminator 2: 3D.  Prices are $24.99 for the lashes, and $19.99 for the eyeliner, and both can be applied to most cars.  Simply provide the make and model of your car, and the appropriate style will be sent to you.  The lashes are made of heavy, flexible plastic and are attached with 3M tape.  They are designed to handle regular driving and car washes, won't damage your paint job, and can be easily removed by peeling off the tape.  

CarLashes come to us from Turbo Style Products, a brand new company out of Utah.  Their mission is to become "THE leading supplier of female automotive aftermarket products."  I don't know.  Maybe it's just me, but that sounds more than a little condescending.  I can't really think of anything I need in my car that my husband doesn't need in his.  I mean, what's next?  A glittery tampon dispenser next to the CD player, maybe?  As I mentioned earlier, I love pretty shinies, but within reason.  I don't need my jumper cables to sparkle, or my tire jack painted pink, thank you.  I just need them to work.  

Yeah, sure, it's cute in the picture, but can you imagine this in the real world?  "I'm sorry, officer.  I didn't mean to hit that power pole, but I could have sworn that car winked at me."  Oh, that'd go over well.  

Now, I'm sure there are some good points to this.  Your car would be much easier to find in a parking lot (if you parked facing out).  Your husband/boyfriend/dad/brother won't ask to borrow your car very often.  Um...help me out here...uh...small children will be delighted to think you know Thomas the Tank Engine?  

Well, they did give me a good giggle today, if nothing else.  So, would any of you put these on your car?  Let me know in the comments.  

Now, today, in lieu of the magic bag o' samples, I thought I'd share an outright product review.  If you're a long time Adorable Napalm reader, you know by now that I'm a member of BzzAgent, a word-of-mouth marketing company.  The way it works, BzzAgent sends me a product, I try it, and then tell everyone I know what I thought about it.  If I like the product, great.  If not, that's okay, too.  All they ask is that I be honest.  Well, this time around, they sent me Garnier Fructis Style Sleek & Shine Blow Dry Perfector, and I'm afraid you're all going to get a whole lot of honesty from me.

I hate it.  Now, hate is a strong word, and one I rarely use in product reviews, but this time, it's the nicest way I can express how I feel.  According to Garnier:

Now you can achieve the perfect, bouncy-blow dry. One application of this innovative, 2-step smoothing kit.

. Tames frizz
. Keeps hair smooth and shiny
. Provides easier, faster blow dries
. Lasts 7 shampoos

I was actually looking really forward to this.  Being from the land of humidity so thick you need a straw to breathe, I have been on a hunt for anything that might help with frizzies.  I have thick, wavy hair, and it has a mind of its own--and a twisted mind, at that.  This really looked like my saving grace.

Eagerly, I tore open the box, and read the instructions.  "What?  You have to wait two weeks before or after coloring?  My hair appointment is next week!  Oh, man!"  So, I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Finally, the now three week wait was over, and I could have the frizz-free hair I'd been dreaming of!  I opened the box, read the directions (again), put on the enclosed gloves, and opened the 20-minute smoothing serum.  And nearly threw up.  They warned that there could be an odor, but that's normal because of the active ingredients.  It smells like a wet dog had his fur permed, then decided to run through a chemical plant.  It's godawful, and it only gets worse the longer you have it on.  My entire house reeked of this stuff.  It gave me a headache, and my poor husband was more than a little relieved when the 20 minute application time was up. 

I jumped into the shower, and furiously began to rinse all of the ick out of my hair.  It still stank to high Heaven.  Then, I towel dried my hair and went to the sink for phase two, the heat-activated perfect-it cream. 

This smelled more like the Garnier I know and love.  It has their signature apple scent, and felt nice going on--like a leave-in conditioner.  Unfortunately, the stink from the earlier serum overpowered the apples, and within seconds, I smelled, once again, like that unfortunate dog.  Oh, well.  Maybe blow-drying would help?

Nope, still gross.  Also, my blow-drying time was not shortened, and my hair looked exactly the same as it always does when I blow dry it.  It was straight, but still frizzy.  I looked at the instructions, and it suggested using a flatiron to thoroughly straighten the hair.  Well, duh.  If you use a flatiron on hair, it straightens it, whether it's been treated with this stuff or not!  I was miffed.  Not only was my hair no better off than before, now it smelled putrid.  Great.

That night, the smell kept me awake. 

The next morning, I decided to use my curling iron to see if the heat would activate the product and smooth my frizz.  It helped some, but no more than usual.  Thankfully, my hairspray covered up the stench. 

The next morning, I just left it.  It had finally stopped smelling, and since I knew I was going to exercise after work, I figured it'd be fine in a ponytail. 

This morning, I got up, washed my hair, and rassafrackin' *expletive(s) deleted*, the stupid rotting corpse smell returned!!  Noooo!!!  I blew it dry, and I swear it took longer than usual, and the frizz was out of hand.  I had to put another smoothing product on it, which, at least, helped cover the odor.  I didn't have time to curl it, so I just left with awful, frizzy hair.

So, here I sit, frizzy and ticked off, writing this review.  I hope to God this stuff doesn't last seven shampoos.  The smell might kill me.  I could tell you pricing and availability, but save your money, save your time, and just invest in decent shampoo and a flatiron.  Trust me, you'll be much better off.

I'm a Bird Watcher...

Rufus is a very sick little parakeet. Thomas and I adopted him two years ago, and he's become part of the family. The good news is that the vet thinks he'll pull through. The bad news is that he's had a respiratory infection, which can be passed on to his mate, Fancy, and he has a heart murmur. This is one sick little blue parakeet. (Yes, I know Rufus means red. I didn't name him. That would be Thomas.)

Photo by Ailiang LLC

So, in honor of Rufus, his super-star behavior at the vet's today, and bird lovers everywhere who understand that it's not "just a bird", I did a little digging and found some pretty awesome bird-centric goodies floating around the Interwebs.I love this brooch. Not really a pin wearer, myself, but Polly looks awfully pretty in Swarovski studded purple, green and gold. Then again, I do live in the land of Mardi Gras, so what do I know. She's $15.99.

Photo by Overstock.com

This ring is amazing. I would not like to get punched in the face by someone wearing this ring (of course, I also would not like to get punched in the face, period), but it's pretty freaking gorgeous. Definitely a conversation starter for your next cocktail party:

"I say, I thought this was a cocktail party, not a cockatiel party. Aha, aha, aha, aha!"

*punch*

$39.99 at Overstock.com. Medical insurance not included.

Photo by ebay

I want this poster. My entire apartment is decorated in art deco and vintage inspired posters. Some movies, some magazine covers, whatever looks cool. I have no earthly idea where this would go, but I'm about two seconds away from hitting buy it now on the ebay listing. It's a reproduction of a 1919 perfume advertisement, and all I can say is they sure don't make 'em like they used to. $21.95 on ebay, with free shipping.

Photo by Dinodirect.com

Ha!! This just makes me giggle. It's a 4GB, rhinestone encrusted, parrot shaped USB Flash Drive. It's silly and pointless, and I so want one. Mostly, though, because $34.79 is a really good price for four gigs. Just sayin'.

Photo by ShopNewZeland

And, last but not least, it's a budgie! It's a robot! It's both!! Robo-keet! I'm not really sure I have anything to add to that. It's $153.30--way more expensive than anything else on this list, but I had to show you guys.
I'll keep everyone posted on the little guy's recovery. Happy bird-hunting!
UPDATE: Rufus is 100% back to normal, and he and Fancy are very happy to be back in the same cage again. Thanks!